#alright that's enough of a look into my personal psyche for now. shoo get outta here

[fernsnailz]

i think the hardest part of recovering from my recent burnout has been learning how to be kinder to myself and my art. it's something i've struggled with for a long time, and it's become painfully obvious to me that part of the reason my burnout has been so bad is because i don't find much value in the things i create. to me, my art has always been partially defined by my flaws and shortcomings. it's hard for me to not fixate on the things i think detract from my work - i'm trying to be more constructive about the things i want to improve, but it's so easy to fall into the "everything about this sucks" pits that i dig for myself.

i think having an online presence defined by my art has added to these insecurities, yet has also been a huge step in helping me realize how i need to address them. this is kinda why i've been less active on twitter, it often feels like people there only treat my work as content to consume (which obviously isn't the case, but the format of that platform makes it feel that way). it also feels hard to reform my public artistic identity since most of my online presence is based around fanart. as much as i love fan communities, i really don't want to be solely known as "some guy that draws shadow the hedgehog" forever. i have other things i create and enjoy beyond what i show on socials, but i struggle to finish and share those things because of. all the shit i just mentioned 💀 but people online have always been overwhelmingly kind to me despite the general flaws of social media, which has been a huge help in learning i need to confront my insecurities. i honestly don't know if i'll ever be able to express how much that means to me.

there's a lot that inspires me and lights my desire to create again, but the only thing that can truly bring me out of burnout hell is me and my art. thankfully, i'm starting to remember why i do this: i want to make cool shit!! i don't want to care about whether it sucks or not, there's so much stuff i have left to say!! and when i make stuff that resonates with people, i love to see that i managed to connect with them despite being complete strangers!!! i don't have anything to prove and i certainly don't create to be praised, i make stuff because my art is entirely unique to me. and because shit's fun!!!!

not much else i have to say here, just kinda wanted to get some of my thoughts out where people could see them. idk what i'll be making next, but it might be stuff in a different direction. ty guys <3 good night tristate area

#these aren't all the thoughts i have about this subject but they ARE the ones i'd like to share on a public platform #alright that's enough of a look into my personal psyche for now. shoo get outta here #ferntext