#also relief. ive got so used for my mere existence to be an annoyance to other people as a child so its so important to me when people say

[echo-s-land]

Someone told me that he 'like hanging around with me' and he 'love my smile' today

#years after my birth im finally finding out the genuine joy of making friends #also relief. ive got so used for my mere existence to be an annoyance to other people as a child so its so important to me when people say #they like to have me around #had to turn down a very big socialization opportunity bc i was hungry and i couldnt come with him - will try to make up for it next time #what he said was totally platonic btw hes gay and im not a man #he also told me 'when i first met you i thought you were trans' and the urge i felt to come out to him and say 'YES ACTUALLY (but also here #the nuances:') but it came out of nowhere and there were bystanders so i didnt want to risk it and just. 'honestly im not sure' was the bes #half-truth half-lie i could muster #but hey he made me comfortable with coming out to him so one day perhaps #gosh i wish im not going to mess up this newly forming friendship (?) with my little to non-existent social skills #man also has the same dumb humor as me. i have to find a way to keep him around #my mom would burst into tears if she knew how much i smile talk and am open around him. not my fault he is a person whom you naturally feel #safe around #normally people ask me if im 'angry/pissed/annoyed/sad' because i have a resting bitch face and dont talk much to anyone #the surprise people must feel once they get to know me better.. granted i cant name any but whatever lol