#and I've actually got anxiety cause I'm looking forward to the concert I love the artist | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

twopoppies · 2 years

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Ooo is it origin story day?! Fun! I don't know that mine is that interesting to be honest, but I'll share anyway. Fair warning, I've always been a rambler lol! Like a lot of people here, I wasn't really into 1D when they were at the height of their popularity. I don't necessarily think it was a me "trying to be cool" thing, so much as a me tuned out from the world thing. I had a pretty severe anxiety disorder as a teen and ended up attending a therapeutic residential high school. I didn't listen to much music at all tbh, so even a lot of their bigger hits passed me by. There was a girl in my dorm that was OBSESSED with them, particularly Zayn, and it sort of became her personal quirk in our friend group. In the clique-y way that teenage girls can sometimes be, it didn't really occur to me that we could have the same "quirk" so I never looked into their music. But by 2015, I was in what I call recovery and actually enjoying life again. I heard "Drag Me Down" on Good Morning America and fell in love with it! It was the song of the summer for me, and I think I really resonated with the idea of nothing being able to pull back down again. I was totally ready to fall down the boyband rabbit hall five years too late! Of course, I quickly learned they were about to go on hiatus and all I could do was laugh. Because *of course* I would fall in love with a band right before they broke up lmao! I never really bought the 18 months thing. But I decided I was perfectly happy to spend the end of my summer retroactively falling in love with One Direction anyway. I listened to all their albums in reverse and was genuinely gutted I didn't discover Midnight Memories when it was new because I would have loved it! In another life, I could have been at the Jones Beach concert where Harry wore the flower crown 😩 Ah well! I devoured all of their interviews on YouTube too, which is where I first saw a comment "My Narry heart!" and I was like 'WTF does that mean?'. Presumably, I must have learned *something* about Narry but I obviously wasn't sold and I remember none of it. Fell hard for Larry though. Watched all the FIMQ videos and read a bunch of fanfiction. I still really wasn't convinced that it was real and an anti's proof video had me feeling guilty for a hot second. Thankfully, I was an adult and not a young teen, so I wasn't actually convinced that any of my individual actions were hurting the multimillionaire pop stars. But I can see how young fans thought they had to protect them from 'harassment'. It's so gross how that was manipulated back in the day. Anyway, I think what really sold me on it being true was that video where they were laughing about Zayn's yin yang tattoo. I watched it just to see the interview, not knowing there was anything Larry about it. I kept playing back the part of H and L laughing bc I was I trying to figure out what the hell they were saying. I don't think I got the joke at the time, but I remember noticing how Harry starting grinning like a fool before he even understood it, just cause Lou was laughing. How they both leaned forward to watch each other laugh. How they were just in their own little world with even their fellow bandmates confused at the level of inside joke they were sharing. And this was at a time when popular narrative told me they hated each other. It wasn't some slowed down interaction purposely set to music or an elaborate fan theory about their clothing or locations. It was just them being themselves in an interview, and I thought "That's not normal platonic behavior. No way!". After that, I always believed. I may have wavered a bit in the beginning at how serious it was and how much we could really know about their lives behind closed doors, but now I'm 100% certain that they love each other and always have. And I've had the best time at their solo tours! I got to meet up with other Larries including Amy, which was amazing. This fandom has given me so much. It helped me accept that I am a lesbian even though I've struggled with a lot of internalized heteronormativity. And Louis' music

in particular meant the world to me after my mom died. I'm so glad I watched that GMA special, even if it did feature the interview from babygate hell lol!

This is really lovely, sweetheart. I think we find special things at the right time, you know?

And yes to that yin/yang joke moment. Goddddd.

#origin stories

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