#and I've been playiner her as like if Morticia Adams was played by Jenna Maroney from 30 rock lol

[mmmthornton]

Abbott Elementary D&D Episode WHEN baby?

What can I say, I'm a simple lesbian. I see a show with a great group dynamic and I gotta think about what they'd be like at the tabletop.

Plus, I'm...responsibly imbibing and putting off work so HERE WE GO!

Jacob becomes determined to start some kind of gaming club at the school, but he hadn't actually DM'd before so he asks the other teachers if he can do a "practice run" first and bribes them with takeout and beer to let him run a game for them in the gym in the evenings. Surprisingly Barbara has come around to it NOT being a tool of the devil thanks to her and her husband watching Stranger Things together ("If it can help those kids beat a demon and learn to appreciate family in the god-forsaken 1980s, it can't be all bad"). Melissa says she could learn a new game since its no fun card sharking the same five people at her local bar, and Gregory is pretending really really hard that he's not EXTREMELY excited about this because he's always wanted to play but never did as a kid. Ava laughs until she cries when Jacob first asks if she wants to join then flips when Gregory will be there..."and when those craft beers go right through his skinny hipster body" she wants to be there to see his "wild" side. Janine knows nothing about the game but is excited about a new extracurricular activity and thinks its a great way to bond with the kids, and Mr. Johnson wasn't invited but shows up with Coke and a Costco-sized bag of Smartpop because he KNOWS whats up.

Barbara : Definitely a Cleric. She is willing to physically fight Jacob though if she has to "choose a god" from the pantheon, so to keep the peace AND the immersive experience they agree Not To Go Into It but its enough that her healing and spells are faith-endowed. Early on though, she gets some REALLY good rolls to hit when they're surrounded by enemies and she becomes more of a "warcaster" in addition to healing. Lots of buffs and she gets into the idea of a powerful warrior who gives holy blessings with her presence. Probably should've chosen Paladin from the getgo with how she ends up playing, but she makes Cleric work for her.

Melissa : Definitely a Rogue. Okay, I promise all my thoughts aren't basic but also listen to me. The whole concept of the rogue network is SO up her alley. She almost seems like she's not even playing a character at first, but then JACOB surprises her with his NPCs and the two of them roleplay thieves cant as a sort of south philly slang. I think Jacob would be an AMAZing DM so he's ready to meet her where she is (not really invested at first, kind of skeptical on the whole thing), and draw her in by accurately using terminology and making the world feel gritty, lived-in, and familiar - and Melissa LOVEs it. She starts to really get into the fiction of this fantasy world and take the threat/plot hook seriously. Gets yelled at by the support for jumping into fights and going unconscious because she's not a tank class; maybe multiclasses into Barbarian or at least takes a feat or two so she's not going down every fight.

Gregory : The archetypal wizard; old, beard, pointy hat, the whole deal. I hear you thinking "Why not human fighter?" but no. Gregory will not do human fighter, he's been waiting to play D&D for like twenty years and hes researched EVERY aspect of every class. Could be a minmaxer, but moreso is just WAY overthinking the choice so finally Jacob just gives him a premade, high-fantasy, Gandalf-ass wizard named something like Geoffrey Jankins or whatever. Gregory spends a lot of time making his : [ face, worried that he's already destroyed his chance of "having fun in a tabletop game with work friends" because he's THAT kind of person. Once he relaxes, he starts to feel a lot more kinship with his wizard character; he's got a backstory in the premade sheet where he's trying to find a spellbook that was stolen from him that contained years of his hard work and research. Over the course of the game Jankins kind of works with the others the same way Gregory did as he warmed up to them as a substitute, and in the end has the Real Emotional Moment in-game as he realizes what his work was keeping him away from (the relationships with the others in the group being his found family). No one leaves that game with a dry eye.

Ava : Elf Bard, College of Swords. She refused to make a character when Jacob mentioned it involved adding numbers because she's too hot for math, so she got another premade that he knew she'd enjoy. She's actually pretty stoked on the idea of a Creative and Powerful Artist who's dripping with charisma enough that she actually gets the ins and outs of the spell rules really well and is very generous with her Bardic Inspirations ("even to Gregory's old-head-ass"). She does however seem to only use Cutting Words on her own team, specifically Janine ("Jacob! How could you let her use that spell?" "In my defense I didn't think she'd even read the spell sheet!"). I say College of Swords because the worst thing about being a bard is having to share the spotlight with someone else, so she decides she wants to be the hero AND the sexy song vixen who makes the ballad about it.

Janine : Some kind of Genasi or fey druid. She wants to connect with the nature in the world and tries to channel a kind of Pan-from-mythology-meets-Steve-Irwin-depicted-by-Simone-Biles character. Her character motivation is she wants to write a guidebook of the animals - both common and magical - that they come across but keeps absolutely failing her rolls. She rolls a one and slaps a Mystical Enchanted Forest Deer in the face, launching a fight that the party is NOT prepared for. IS very good in a fight; she'll transform into an owlbear and headbutt an enemy away if one of the other party members are in trouble. Only remembers how to use like, three spells total and doesn't tell Jacob that she has no clue how things like spell slots or materials work so she just doesn't track it / makes up a number when asked how much she has. Jacob catches on pretty quickly, but side eyes into the camera to let us know he's deliberately letting it slide because she keeps rolling badly and could use the break.

Mr. Johnson : Makes his own dwarf warlock who's ABSOLUTELY minmaxed to hell. The overall playstyle of the group though is more laid back, but he's after a harder core play experience and only drops in sometimes if he hears there's a boss fight. Can do things from the book that are completely legal but have Jacob looking up obscure status effects and rules to try to keep up. Would probably make a good DM, but says he's more of a Warhammer guy.

Jacob : Obviously the DM, but I imagine that once the kids get into the game one of them might want to take a turn DM'ing. Jacob, gleaming with pride, would be happy to pass the DM screen to the "younger, brighter, woker generation". He joins the party as a ranger ("...which in the fifth edition classic is not the most capable class however with updates and features can be utilized in very specific cases for role-play and battlefi-" "For f*cks sake Jacob just take a shortbow proficiency and lets get on with it"), and spends most of the time that they're playing being extremely proud of his student....until the kid catches him on a technicality on his animal companion range.

#abbott elementary #listen my...imbibing tolerance is pretty high but I almost mispelled barbara as barbary like THREE times already #I'm so sorry ms sheryl lee ralph lmao #the ava thing is also self serving because i'm playing a CoS Bard in a Curse of Strahd game #and I've been playiner her as like if Morticia Adams was played by Jenna Maroney from 30 rock lol #which makes me think of how fun Ava's character is #Youtube