#and how the feedback I'm getting contradicts my own feeling of failure /D

[anniviech]

When Imposter Syndrome starts feeling more and more real... 🫠

Me: *stumbles through the new job tasks, repeatedly being corrected/critiqued after getting differing instructions, and still getting ridiculously lost in hallways 3 weeks in, feeling like I'll never properly get the hang of things and am just flailing around, stressed out of my mind and overwhelmed at times - particularly whenever shoved in at the deep end*

Colleagues from security subcontractors: You're still so new?! You're doing a better job than some of your coworkers - no offense - who've been here for months, if not years...

Shift leader from my service subcontractor: *shows me around another new task area, just one day after I ended up in a completely wrong gate direction to meet a runway shuttle bus, and had to have airport security drive up to let me into the building again after I managed to disengage a door because I failed unlocking it properly* And this info point is also manned by us - you'll likely be sitting here as well once you got the hang of things, which we're all already presuming. *nonchalant*

Higher-up from the direct airport terminal management: *approaches me* Why don't you try applying directly with us? I've been watching you, and you seem very capable - we could use more people like you. Give it a shot; but don't tell your colleagues I suggested it, okay?

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I–... I literally had a cry in the staff room one day, because I thought I'm completely failing in even my starting task and feeling completely overwhelmed with things, already questioning if I can continue this job...?

Is my own view of my capability really that off? 🫠

#just rambling about my new job #and how the feedback I'm getting contradicts my own feeling of failure /D #...to be fair; the overwhelm might also come from having been on sick leave for the past 3 years #and having thrown myself into a completely new area full time because yolo 🙃😂🙈 #I just hope my body will adjust to all the walking and standing soon so I actually have some energy left when getting home #there are art and knitting projects calling for my attention 🥲 #...and I still haven't even seen anything from Berlin since moving here other than my commute /D #ugh #anyway I'm rambling yet again lol #but here you have an insight on why I've disappeared again 🙃