#and i cant even watch fucking judge judy on the couch now

[lavender---sunshine]

My dad is taking our living room tv on his trip to the new house on Tuesday and when i saw the gap and the wall where our TV used to be i had to turn around and go back to my room so my parents didnt see me cry

#its not even about the tv. i dont watch tv. #its the fact that they are packing up pieces of a life im still living here and taking it with them over there #i always thought that when i was ready my parents would help me move out #help me buy a car and find an apartment and maybe even help me pay for a while #but they have no have no money saved to help me move and no time to take me to see a car #theyre going to give me nothing and expect me to do this on my own #in the like hardest and most expensive time in history to get cars and houses #and theyre taking the livingroom tv #its stupid and i know ive never been able to depend on them before for any money really but #i didnt even get a graduation gift. they paid for lunch and that was nice but my dad even complained about that #and how much the graduation cake (that i bought myself) cost because all thier money goes to the housr #my mom told me the other day my dad brought up maybe fostering #when they get settled over there and wow if that didnt make me see red #you dont get to move somewhere and get a new family while im struggling #god i want to kill myself #but even worse i want to live and its hard to even just survive #and i cant even watch fucking judge judy on the couch now #theyre taking things as if im not still living here