#and i feel soooo terrible horrible like a wretched person for it

[mechawolfie]

i dont like when all the fears of the day ball into one big Ball Of Sad at night. not fun.

#smudgy.txt #.vent #idk whats wrong i was coping so well today (avoiding thinking abt my problems by #focusing on character writing instead) #its so frustrating when u just dont know what else to do. so u just.. do nothing. #but that doesnt make it go away!!!! grr!!!!! #u know what else is fucking frustrating. the 'my friends dont like me' feeling #not going away even when u have fun w ur friends. its not FAIR #its not fair knowing for a fact there is nothing uniquely wrong w u #yet at the end of the day u cry thinking abt all the ways ur existence was a fuck up #its not fair knowing ur allowed to hurt but feeling like a lazy pos for it anyway #ive spent so many days locked up in this room BECAUSE LEAVING IT MAKES ME FEEL #REALLY BAD!!!!!!! AND IM TRYING TO FUCKING GET EVEN A CRUMB OF ENERGY!!!!!!! #and i feel soooo terrible horrible like a wretched person for it #and itll just never end. itll never end. lord i am so tired