#and i never want someone to think that im cheap or stingy or poor

[miraeism]

god i hate money

#ive just been having such a fucked up relationship with it #and how it plays in other ways in my life #and then its i need to save #and then its an impulsive big purchase thats a birthday gift for someone #and then its a waste of money because they dont like it #and then its oh yes i deserve a little treat #and then its always the ones that grew up and have money that are the weirdest with it and the stingest with it at times #idk maybe i just dont know how to say no to people with money because i never want to seem like i cant afford something #and i never want someone to think that im cheap or stingy or poor #i just AHHHHHH #WHEN WILL IT EVER GET ANY BETTER #shawna speaks and no one listens #i just really feel like im fucking my losing my mind these days #i just want to crawl out of my skin and lie face down in some grass #i would go for a brisk walk but god its about to rain!!!! why is god working against meeeee