Tumgik
#and i'm the one that has to create and distribute all the crisis communication this weekend
dadjoke-ness · 3 months
Text
You guys do know you can just like....make things, right?
Capitalism and the standards of beauty need not contain you as much as they do.
Like knitting. You can knit a sock in a day, and that's at beginner speed. When I'm in the groove, watching anime, I can whip out a pair of socks in a couple hours.
And you can control how long your socks are. Make them not match.
You can crochet.
Crochet that merch you can't afford. Crochet your OCs. Crochet your blorbos.
Sure, you'll have to buy yarn, but if you're doing plushies, you can get those bags of assorted yarn from goodwill, then just wash the plushie when you're done.
Sewing. You can fix clothes, patch rips, hell, you can even fix the holes in socks! You can make things like plushies from old ripped clothes that can't be donated.
You can make so much!! You can make pants that fit. You can make skirts and dresses with deep pockets and a skirt that does the spinny. You can make blankets and pillowcases and pillows shaped like snorlax. You can make a life sized pokemon if you're patient enough. You can crochet a dog sized Slinky toy story, and have him able to extend as long as you want. No one can stop you.
Hell, I'm knitting plushies of my fursona soon, and I'm gonna be way off with color and patterns because I'm lazy, but the knockoffs(tm) will still be loved.
I knit booties for my dog. I knit a scarf that's 12 feet long and multiple hats. I'm making myself legwarmers. I'm knitting an ugly sweater.
I'm also sewing a quilt, but that's taking way longer since I adamantly refuse to use the machine.
AND THE BIGGEST ONE OF ALL:
You can create to donate!!
In my spare time I knit and sew plushies to donate to local kids. The red cross in some areas has patterns so you can create and donate Trauma Teddies - these are bears carried by first responders and emergency rooms and given to children during a crisis. There's charities all over the place that take plushies, hats, socks - whatever you can make - and helps distribute them to hospitals, shelters, and other communities that may need them.
It doesn't matter how good or bad you are, because your creation can help someone. Even the ugliest knit doll I ever made? I still get snapchats of him on his adventures sometimes.
16 notes · View notes
indefatigablepaths · 4 months
Text
My computer needs better ideas. So. Ok. This idea makes no sense. You believe you can form a group of people that do nothing, for everything. Hm. This isn't the stock market, but it is. See a stock market determines what products are stocked on your shelves. Still, we believe this is not an easy long term investment. Also we believe this has nothing to do with food. See the world is flat, except the worst part. You can't even try to cause a car accident on a hill. Still whenever you talk about stocks you say let's do this as if we want to jump a car off a hill under the train tracks and hit a car. That's your strategy. Then quick but a new car, and these fines you recommend are good as well. At this point you're just insulting me. The stock market losses are good as well. Ok. Nevermind talking with you. Hypothetically it's until you lose everything forever or never invest once. You need to take your losses forever. That's my best advice. Anyways. Not anyways. In a commune we have limited opportunity for work, and we do not support reasonable work. It is implied wink wink we are a commune. Like if you ask to support yourself be reasonable as an independent. I don't like the girls or boys in my family. No. No work. No government aid. See commune. You can't move on or forward because commune. For example. No one has money for rent. You're looking at vindictive souls mad you can have a room. Well the commune didn't want to do positive and clean itself. See capitalism is what happens when we produce a product for the stock market. Obviously no one here produces their own product. So how does one not be in a commune when your society as a whole can not participate in labor. Let me just make this clear. No one took the baby dollars, and also was able to afford to work a job the stock market supplies for regular people. See your strength is your weakest link and you have no weakest link. You actually created a commune which does not support work. We support begging. So I think. Let's stop begging. Let's do a little work. No. No. This is not an opportunity. How are you even alive. Do a little work stop begging. No opportunity. No I know at best a social network took over a low income branch of distribution. Then you said police go away no free donut hand outs here. You are fat with donut. Why can you not see. He is fat with donut. Do you believe he sent his other members to work for herself? See this isn't adding up. You can not even match the drivers to a database. See no one is safe. Your commune has no computer ID for safety or money anywhere. You are supporting actual murder for work theory. See now I can't work. To much risk. So see behavior of commune is break computer break communication. Tell if try try bad call police because commune good for one persons. Still not dead. See not making sense. So you are so confused by labels you do not know where your country is. Could I try. No. That is a country. Could I try, no. You have this much room to try. Then no. There is no space here to try. So no time. See police. The police are called when no one has any time left. Look crisis forever. The last of the orcs really. They never die. Even when they always die. My skin is green because I can L out of nothingness. Hypothetically can you be alive and go to work. No because the police are dead. Now you fight police for money. What I'm saying is your supposedly capitalism society has no choice but to make work possible. You can't ask people to cry to work. Oh I worked but we all cried and died because work makes no sense. Technically at these rates let's be clear. I can not pay the government. See the government must distribute money to low income workers to make money, as a whole. Your strategy is lazy. There is no incentive to even pretend we should continue. See strength is not an opportunity we as a body ever changing can afford, we lost our strength. We did, we all did. So you too must lose your strength.
0 notes
kkbny · 2 years
Text
the TOS tantrum
simblr has gone into full crisis mode after electronic arts put out a statement that putting custom content and mods behind any paywall, including early access, violates the rules with no exception:
We have a long tradition of supporting creativity in our community. We do not object to Mod developers continuing to share their amazing content, subject to the following:
Do not promote your Mods in a way that suggests they are endorsed by or affiliated with The Sims, Maxis, or Electronic Arts. This means you cannot use any game logos or trademarks, including versions of the plumbob, or key art designs to promote your Mods. You may state that your Mods are for The Sims 4 and/or for a specific game expansion pack.
Mods must be non-commercial and distributed free-of-charge. Mods cannot be sold, licensed, or rented for a fee, nor can Mods contain features that would support monetary transactions of any type. However, Maxis recognizes that creating Mods takes time and resources. Accordingly, Mod developers may recoup their development costs via passive advertisements and donations as long as:
Passive advertisements and requests for donations must be limited to the Mod website or distribution site, and not appear within the Mod itself.
All users must be able to access the Mods in full for free regardless of whether they donate.
We reserve the right to address any inappropriate Mods, including Mods that infringe the intellectual property or privacy rights of others, contain obscene, objectionable, or harmful content, jeopardize the integrity of The Sims 4 gameplay, or otherwise violate the EA User Agreement.
here's a tldr:
you cannot use plumbobs in advertisements, or imply that you are affiliated with electronic arts, instead you can (but don't have to) state that your mod or cc is for the sims.
mods can't be behind a paywall of any kind, but the distribution site can include donation links as long as donations aren't required to download the mod. mods also cannot be advertised within the sims.
the sims can take down any mods that contain nsfw content. popular mods that may be affected: basemental drugs, wicked whims, extreme violence
mods cannot infringe on intellectual property, so brand logos and names are likely off-limits. i have to get rid of my pokémon cc now... i'm so sad /srs :'(
what this means:
i am not a lawyer and i am not affiliated with patreon or EA. i do not know all of the legal stuff, and if i'm honest, i don't care all that much, but based on precedent i can draw some conclusions and make predictions on what will happen
patreon will likely just ban accounts that violate this rule, because most platforms don't have the time or resources to deal with all of this, especially when there's so many cc creators on patreon
this might affect TSR, with the nonsense "VIP" thing, but it might not. (i hope it does because i can't stand tsr)
i assume that as long as the actual content isn't behind a paywall at any time, creators can still use patreon to show wip, make announcements early to their patrons, etc. again, i don't know
the meltdowns creators are having is extremely funny
oh noooo i'm in trouble because i broke a rule that always existed waaaaaa
quitting making art because you can't profit from it is so funny to me. i'm sorry it's just so funny, especially the statements put out that are full-blown rants in all caps screaming about how mad they are at EA. for once, EA aren't the ones being greedy, which is very funny okay... it's very very funny
1 note · View note
news-monda · 4 years
Text
0 notes
news-sein · 4 years
Text
0 notes
news-lisaar · 4 years
Text
0 notes
skamswede · 5 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Skam Italia canceled. TimVision in crisis?
After retiring from the project of The brilliant genius, the platform decides not to renew the Italian remake of the Norwegian series. Speak Ludovico Bessegato, director, showrunner and creator of Skam Italia
On July 9, Rai presented its autumn program to the press, and among the TV series offer one of the most important titles is certainly "The brilliant friend - History of the new surname". This year, however, there was a novelty. The credits included Rai Fiction, Hbo and Wildside, the producing company. But the name of TimVision was missing, which until last year not only collaborated on the financing of "The brilliant friend", but also distributed it exclusively. There were no notes or official announcements. Tim's platform has simply disappeared from the producers of "The genial friend".
More or less during the same period, other voices have begun to follow one another: TimVision changes its objectives; will no longer produce only series and films (one of the last, "Bangla", produced together with Domenico Procacci's Fandango, won the 14th edition of Bimbi Belli and the Nastro d'Argento for the best comedy); but pure entertainment aquashow.
There was also talk of other projects, like a series of the collective The Pills. But even that, for now, is still: disappeared into thin air. The same acquisitions of international securities have stalled. The great successes, like "The Handmaid's Tale", have been reconfirmed. But there were no new announcements.
In short, TimVision is changing skin. And this is a fact. We tried to contact the company for a comment. The email sent to us reads: «With the recent agreement, Sky Tim has strengthened its content platform and confirmed the validity of TimVision's new industrial strategy, which aims to offer high quality digital entertainment for all families . Thanks to the partnerships signed with the most important players in the sector, TimVision is the main aggregator of contents in Italy, being able to offer TV series, films, entertainment, news and all the main national and international sporting events. With the quality of the ultra-broadband network and all the possibilities related to 5G, Tim is able to offer every possible content anywhere and at any time. The convergence between content, voice, fixed and mobile places the company as the industry leader ».
Everything, it seems, began with the arrival, last year, of Luca Josi who took over the Brand Strategy Media & Multimedia Entertainment and the responsibility of TimVision. Before him, there was always Annamaria Morelli: manager of TimVision Production, the woman who allowed the realization of the greatest successes of Tim's platform, which was able to focus on a precise target (the youngest, the teenagers), and that he had found, contrary to what was perceived by the company, a third way compared to those undertaken by Netflix and Sky. Thanks to her, with "L 'genial friend", TimVision - an Italian streaming platform - had gone to the Venice International Film Festival.
Since last Friday, Annamaria Morelli no longer works in TimVision. She resigned. And now the doubts accumulate. Above all, they accumulate after the news that "Skam Italia", the most successful series of TimVision, also reported by foreign newspapers such as BuzzFeed, trend topic anywhere in the world, appreciated and followed abroad, has been canceled.
"Monday - tells us Ludovico Bessegato, creator, director, co-writer and supporter of the Italian remake of" Skam "- we understood that even the last hope we were holding on to being able to shoot the fourth season of" Skam Italia "was nuanced. We had to become aware of the fact that we will not continue this series any more ".
The reason, says Bessegato, is not clear. "I don't know the exact reason, really. I'm the director and showrunner of the series. I only know that a paradoxical decision, given the success that the series has had this year ». "Skam Italia" has won many awards, including those for the best series at the first edition of Series Con and at the Diversity Media Awards, and a recognition from the Giffoni Film Festival. "And as visualizations, successes and positive criticisms increased, our broadcaster, TimVision, remained silent and the fourth season, in the end, was never confirmed."
Bessegato says he started working on it at the beginning of the year, around January 2, "immediately after delivering the last episodes of the second season and supervising the filming of the third." The series, he explains, was going very well: «The second season had doubled the numbers of the first, and even the third had achieved excellent results. We thought that the renewal was just a formality ». Since the fourth season of "Skam Italia" should have focused on the character of Sana, a second-generation Muslim girl played by Beatrice Bruschi, Bessegato began working with the Italian Islamic community and read up: "I started a very nice journey to write these new episodes. But as we prepared for the writing of the new season and the casting of new characters, we realized that things in TimVision started to change ".
And they have changed because of the arrival of the new management, and for the new balances that have thus been created within the company. «The internal interlocutors that we have always had, Annamaria Morelli first of all, and the communication staff with whom we have always worked very well did not have the same autonomy in the decisions. The first thing we noticed was that the new management was going to change the distribution formula of "Skam Italia" ».
The series has always been distributed in a certain way, with a clip a day, loaded at a certain time, according to the timeline of the story, and the whole episode at the weekend. Both of these contents were available in plain text. With the new formula, TimVision has decided not to reload more clips and episodes on the official website; the official site, in turn, has been closed, and all the contents have become accessible only upon payment of the subscription to TimVision.
For the publication of the social content of the characters, one of the most original and loved features of the format, there was no longer a responsible editorial staff. "We tried to have a meeting to discuss these strategy changes, and it was the first time we found ourselves in the same room with the new management team. I tried to explain the importance of updating social profiles in "Skam Italia" but in the end the only way to save them from deletion was to offer to publish these photos and videos in person, directly from my smartphone. The only thing I managed to achieve was the creation of an Instagram page, where the chats of the characters that were previously uploaded to the site were loaded ".
"We tried to explain that these changes in the distribution of" Skam Italia ", without adequate communication, with windows that would still allow the public to see the series in the clear, would have been lived very badly by our fans," continues Bessegato. "But it is also true that TimVision, as a broadcaster, had all the rights to proceed as it did. And for us the problem was never the choice they made. But the ways in which this choice was communicated ».
But when were the first doubts about renewing "Skam Italia" born? "In April, TimVision did not exercise the option it had, and which expired in the middle of the month, to make the fourth season. They asked for a waiver, and Cross Productions granted it. We were then told that they were no longer in a position to produce a new season of "Skam Italia" - which, I remember, is not a high-cost series - and that they were looking for partners. At this point, we also set about looking for other broadcasters and other realities. And it was not difficult to find them given the success of "Skam Italia" ».
The player who was approached, says Bessegato, is a very important international streaming platform. It does not tell us the name, since no agreement has been concluded. But it is clear that this is an absolute protagonist of the world market. "This platform was very interested and made an important offer to TimVision to acquire the previous seasons of" Skam Italia ". In the end, however, no agreement was found ".
What was it that TimVision wanted? "I think he wanted to give up the three seasons only if the new player agreed to co-produce the fourth season together, sharing its distribution as well. But it is something that has not been evaluated strategically by the other player ». After all, why spend money to buy a product if you don't have the exclusive exploitation? "The negotiation lasted until yesterday, but beyond the distance between what was offered and what was required the approaching deadline to start shooting forced the new player to withdraw his offer. It almost seems that on the one hand TimVision did not want to proceed with "Skam Italia" and that on the other it did not want to let someone else do it. He was looking for a middle ground, which was not found ».
This, says Bessegato, is a definite no to "Skam Italia". "Because of the characteristic of the series, which is shot in real time. This year, 2019/2020, would have been the last year of the high school of the protagonists. Turning it now, in October, was the last chance to stay in this timing ".
During the first half of 2019, however, the works went ahead and all the costs were covered by Cross Productions, co-producer of "Skam Italia". "They paid me to do research in the Muslim community, write and work in season four, and paid a first casting for this series. However, we are happy to have spent money, because they have allowed us to discover an Italy that has never been told. " And to work this season, Ludovico Bessegato - like many others on the "Skam" team - had to refuse any offer. Even rather important proposals, he says. "I wanted to finish this series. And I owed it to the actors, I owed it to Beatrice Bruschi, who would have been the protagonist of the fourth season and who deserved to have her space; I owed it to the many Muslims who opened with me and who were now looking forward to being told in a sincere and out of stereotype way. And I owed it to the fans, of course ».
"Now that I know it won't be done anymore, I have to enter the order of ideas of having to work on something else," he explains; and his voice, in saying it, becomes dirty with bitterness. «I am convinced that the work we have done has demonstrated our abilities. There are still so many stories that deserve to be told. I need a moment to recover from this blow. From September back to writing. Even with this "virtual" mourning on him ".
In the end, Bessegato says, what remains is sorrow. "And there are three things that hurt me more in this story. The first was to disappoint our fans, who are many and who loved us and pushed us in a way that I had never seen before on Italian television, and who deserved to see the conclusion of "Skam Italia". The second was to have said three times to Beatrice Bruschi that this season would be done, and then it was not made. It was particularly difficult and painful. But besides her, all the cast boys, after the news of the cancellation, called me in tears. They are fantastic people, who really loved this project. The third disappointment is a disappointment towards the system ". Or? "That a series does not go on is part of the game. The absurd thing, however, is not being able to find a way to go on when a series goes well, it has the fans, the listenings, the prizes and the favorable press. You lose confidence in the Italy system. In the rest of the world "Skam" goes on. And in our country, with one of the most appreciated remakes, with one of the most famous international series, we stop. And we don't even know why. "
It is not clear if TimVision is in crisis; probably this is just a drastic change in strategy, and a different awareness of the content to be offered and the public subscriber. The fact remains, however, that one of the most interesting realities that have appeared on the Italian scene, that have succeeded before and better than others to say something - to tell the very young, and to tell them without prejudice - seems to be back on its feet. Years and years back.
TimVision had the opportunity to establish itself, to build a concrete and tangible alternative to competition. And instead, today, everything seems to be at a standstill. And the cancellation of "Skam Italia" is not just bad news for those who worked on it and for the fans, and for the producers. But also, however extreme it may sound, for the entire industry. "Skam" was a unicum, an example; excellence. And, as Bessegato emphasizes, he demonstrated the inability of the Italian system to protect its talents.
Skam Sweden
Copyright © 2019 All rights reserved
SUBSCRIBE to us
0 notes
yes-dal456 · 7 years
Text
I've Broken This Mortifying Office Taboo — And I Bet I'm Not Alone
Here’s an awkward piece of personal trivia: I’ve cried at every job I’ve had. When I was navigating an endless first-job search and grabbed a coffee with my internship supervisor, I soaked an unsuspecting chocolate croissant in tides of frustrated tears. Then there was that afternoon I had a low-key cubicle weep after jamming a printer with the universe’s stickiest mailing labels and was dressed down by the angry office manager. Even in my current role, I’ve furtively re-applied a few swipes of waterproof mascara on days when the dizzying pace of digital media catches me off guard. And each time, as I’ve waited for my face to lose its post-outburst splotches, I’ve wondered exactly why these emotional moments are considered so taboo. Isn’t it a universal truth that you just can’t cry at work?
Sure, openly sobbing to colleagues on a regular basis doesn’t exactly look professional. Yet, offices are environments defined by competition and conflict. Considering the stakes — both your own success and the success of your employer — it’s bizarre to me that we’ve cast the occasional breakdown as the Kleenex-white albatross of corporate culture.
If bawling is the ultimate workplace taboo, it’s also a viscerally gendered one. While red-faced man-babies from Andy Bernard to Donald Trump justify their tantrums as the logical side-effect of their desire for power, crying is construed as the ultimate sign of weakness. Who could forget Stanley Tucci’s pitiless verdict in The Devil Wears Prada when Anne Hathaway ducks into his studio for some real talk about Miranda Priestly? “Oh Andy, you are not trying; you are whining,” he scolds. “Man up,” he’s essentially saying, because, office politics are ruled by the Trumps and the Bernards, and women need to leave their so-called “feminine” feelings at the turnstile.
Naturally, it would be impossible to meet our daily responsibilities if — most of the time — we weren’t doing our best to stay level-headed and composed. But there’s value in pushing back against this idea that work doesn’t collide, often painfully, with a deeper desire for recognition or fulfillment. After all, how could a career not be inherently caught up in the uneven, fragile nest of personality? It’s literally the thing we spend the most time doing. And as we willingly volunteer for stretch assignments, competing with co-workers to translate project wins into salary bumps, it’s hard to imagine that “professional” could ever really mean “unemotional.” In the end, isn’t there a jagged grain of truth in Michael Scott’s claim that “business is always personal”?
At the risk of soaring too close to the blissed-out platitudes of a Pinterest quotes board, or the equally vacuous rhetoric of Ivanka Trump’s awe-inspiringly tone-deaf Women Who Work, I’ve often struggled to untangle my job from my sense of identity. I’m betting I’m not alone. Millennials were brought up aspiring to knit their passions to their paychecks — the dream of professional freedom dashed by 2008’s financial crisis. We’re grappling with the overwhelming expectation to, as one syrupy corner of the Internet gushes, “be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire” while also making rent. Frankly, my eyes get a little watery just thinking about it. So if crying at work is inevitable — yet taboo — what is an ambitious young woman to do to recover after one of these embarrassing incidents?
My usual routine after an in-office meltdown is to adjust my contacts, down a massive iced-coffee, and pretend it never happened (until it happens again) — clearly, I’m no expert on the correct professional response. So I spoke with certified personal finance coach and founder of the Fiscal Femme, Ashley Feinstein Gerstley, to see if she had any tips for chipping away at the stigma. “It’s so counterintuitive, but telling yourself not to cry usually ends up making you cry more,” she says. “You’re using all your energy to hold it together, trying to defuse an awkward situation, but there’s so much built-up pressure that the tears will almost inevitably come. If emotional displays were more accepted, and you could relax a little, they might actually happen less.”
Taking some of the stress off can also create an opportunity for deepening the communication with your supervisor or colleagues. By letting go of the weird shame woven into the situation, you’ll remember that you still have the power to shape the dialogue, tissues in hand. “Women tend to over-apologize, especially at work. If you do end up getting upset, it can be helpful to excuse yourself from the situation, take a minute to get it together, and come back ready to have a more composed exchange. Don’t feel like you have to fall down the rabbit hole of saying ‘sorry’ over and over again,” Gerstley advises. “Our feelings are invested in our careers, and having a human moment with someone in the office can be spun as a positive.”
Being occasionally vulnerable has reminded me of the empathy buried in the corporate world.
Studies have confirmed that women’s workplace breakdowns often encapsulate these complex emotional layers, topped-off by the fresh humiliation of having actually let them out as a cry. Anger or frustration — instincts comfortably displayed by men literally anywhere — have always seemed off-limits to professional women striving for respect in corporate arenas. As Gerstley notes, the struggle to compress those feelings only amplifies our sense of panic, twisting already fraught encounters into a so-called “out-of-control,” tear-soaked display.
Except maybe there’s some power in crying. I’ve definitely found that breaking the taboo can lead to greater clarity with colleagues. I’ve noticed how tears have helped knead out a disconnection or problem that might otherwise have gone unresolved. Not to say that I’m sure I’ll ever fully get over the electric urge to hide those emotions, much less overcome the reflex to apologize for them. But being occasionally vulnerable has reminded me of the empathy buried in the corporate world — and, in its disarming way, located new paths for collaboration and honesty. Rather than succumbing to its stifling mortification, I’m hoping to recognize, if not celebrate, the rare office cry as a hidden chance for greater candor — the little flicker of understanding between tired, stressed-out coworkers that Andy Sacks was asking for.
No lie: My self-deprecating texts to friends about the day’s office weep will probably never contain praise hands emojis. But I’m hanging onto the essential belief that my work is worthy of a few tears. For now, I’ll leave the Kleenex nearby.
By: Rachel Selvin
-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
from http://ift.tt/2sxh5bn from Blogger http://ift.tt/2s6shug
0 notes
imreviewblog · 7 years
Text
I've Broken This Mortifying Office Taboo — And I Bet I'm Not Alone
Here’s an awkward piece of personal trivia: I’ve cried at every job I’ve had. When I was navigating an endless first-job search and grabbed a coffee with my internship supervisor, I soaked an unsuspecting chocolate croissant in tides of frustrated tears. Then there was that afternoon I had a low-key cubicle weep after jamming a printer with the universe’s stickiest mailing labels and was dressed down by the angry office manager. Even in my current role, I’ve furtively re-applied a few swipes of waterproof mascara on days when the dizzying pace of digital media catches me off guard. And each time, as I’ve waited for my face to lose its post-outburst splotches, I’ve wondered exactly why these emotional moments are considered so taboo. Isn’t it a universal truth that you just can’t cry at work?
Sure, openly sobbing to colleagues on a regular basis doesn’t exactly look professional. Yet, offices are environments defined by competition and conflict. Considering the stakes — both your own success and the success of your employer — it’s bizarre to me that we’ve cast the occasional breakdown as the Kleenex-white albatross of corporate culture.
If bawling is the ultimate workplace taboo, it’s also a viscerally gendered one. While red-faced man-babies from Andy Bernard to Donald Trump justify their tantrums as the logical side-effect of their desire for power, crying is construed as the ultimate sign of weakness. Who could forget Stanley Tucci’s pitiless verdict in The Devil Wears Prada when Anne Hathaway ducks into his studio for some real talk about Miranda Priestly? “Oh Andy, you are not trying; you are whining,” he scolds. “Man up,” he’s essentially saying, because, office politics are ruled by the Trumps and the Bernards, and women need to leave their so-called “feminine” feelings at the turnstile.
Naturally, it would be impossible to meet our daily responsibilities if — most of the time — we weren’t doing our best to stay level-headed and composed. But there’s value in pushing back against this idea that work doesn’t collide, often painfully, with a deeper desire for recognition or fulfillment. After all, how could a career not be inherently caught up in the uneven, fragile nest of personality? It’s literally the thing we spend the most time doing. And as we willingly volunteer for stretch assignments, competing with co-workers to translate project wins into salary bumps, it’s hard to imagine that “professional” could ever really mean “unemotional.” In the end, isn’t there a jagged grain of truth in Michael Scott’s claim that “business is always personal”?
At the risk of soaring too close to the blissed-out platitudes of a Pinterest quotes board, or the equally vacuous rhetoric of Ivanka Trump’s awe-inspiringly tone-deaf Women Who Work, I’ve often struggled to untangle my job from my sense of identity. I’m betting I’m not alone. Millennials were brought up aspiring to knit their passions to their paychecks — the dream of professional freedom dashed by 2008’s financial crisis. We’re grappling with the overwhelming expectation to, as one syrupy corner of the Internet gushes, “be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire” while also making rent. Frankly, my eyes get a little watery just thinking about it. So if crying at work is inevitable — yet taboo — what is an ambitious young woman to do to recover after one of these embarrassing incidents?
My usual routine after an in-office meltdown is to adjust my contacts, down a massive iced-coffee, and pretend it never happened (until it happens again) — clearly, I’m no expert on the correct professional response. So I spoke with certified personal finance coach and founder of the Fiscal Femme, Ashley Feinstein Gerstley, to see if she had any tips for chipping away at the stigma. “It’s so counterintuitive, but telling yourself not to cry usually ends up making you cry more,” she says. “You’re using all your energy to hold it together, trying to defuse an awkward situation, but there’s so much built-up pressure that the tears will almost inevitably come. If emotional displays were more accepted, and you could relax a little, they might actually happen less.”
Taking some of the stress off can also create an opportunity for deepening the communication with your supervisor or colleagues. By letting go of the weird shame woven into the situation, you’ll remember that you still have the power to shape the dialogue, tissues in hand. “Women tend to over-apologize, especially at work. If you do end up getting upset, it can be helpful to excuse yourself from the situation, take a minute to get it together, and come back ready to have a more composed exchange. Don’t feel like you have to fall down the rabbit hole of saying ‘sorry’ over and over again,” Gerstley advises. “Our feelings are invested in our careers, and having a human moment with someone in the office can be spun as a positive.”
Being occasionally vulnerable has reminded me of the empathy buried in the corporate world.
Studies have confirmed that women’s workplace breakdowns often encapsulate these complex emotional layers, topped-off by the fresh humiliation of having actually let them out as a cry. Anger or frustration — instincts comfortably displayed by men literally anywhere — have always seemed off-limits to professional women striving for respect in corporate arenas. As Gerstley notes, the struggle to compress those feelings only amplifies our sense of panic, twisting already fraught encounters into a so-called “out-of-control,” tear-soaked display.
Except maybe there’s some power in crying. I’ve definitely found that breaking the taboo can lead to greater clarity with colleagues. I’ve noticed how tears have helped knead out a disconnection or problem that might otherwise have gone unresolved. Not to say that I’m sure I’ll ever fully get over the electric urge to hide those emotions, much less overcome the reflex to apologize for them. But being occasionally vulnerable has reminded me of the empathy buried in the corporate world — and, in its disarming way, located new paths for collaboration and honesty. Rather than succumbing to its stifling mortification, I’m hoping to recognize, if not celebrate, the rare office cry as a hidden chance for greater candor — the little flicker of understanding between tired, stressed-out coworkers that Andy Sacks was asking for.
No lie: My self-deprecating texts to friends about the day’s office weep will probably never contain praise hands emojis. But I’m hanging onto the essential belief that my work is worthy of a few tears. For now, I’ll leave the Kleenex nearby.
By: Rachel Selvin
-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
from Healthy Living - The Huffington Post http://bit.ly/2s61RIK
0 notes