#and id never remember the media i was engaging with itd just be a blank space and lost time

[lupismaris]

my copy of Upstream arrived at 12:13pm this afternoon and I am already on page 130 of 175 (a few Post-It markers added on first pass through) I'm coming apart at the fuckin seams

#mary oliver save me mary oliver show me how to save myself etc #like i knew it was going to be a phenomenal read but oh my god im going to destroy this book i love it so #her essays are beautiful. her use of prose and language is the most wonderful dialogue with the reader. just like the poetry #but different. shifted and deeper. in the ribs. the belly. bone marrow and aching whereas the poetry sits in the throat and chest imo #also i havent read a book like this since highschool I'm trying not to think too hard about that because im not currently manic #ive been reading casually through the day when i have a moment. right now im in bed waiting for meds to kick in. things are calm #normally in the last idk ten years in order to pull this off id have to be manic of disassociative hyper fixating to manage it #and id never remember the media i was engaging with itd just be a blank space and lost time #but this? im here. im reading again. im like that kid with Maurice sendak's letter except its a book and im devouring it i love it so