#and im sick and tired of all of these horrid thoughts but they aren't gonna go away soon

[the-cinnamon-snail]

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#my intrusive thoughts don't make me Unloveable and disgusting #i say on repeat as my mind keeps thinking of the most vile disgusting things ever on this planet #how did this even get into my head and if I shared it would anyone want anything to do with me anymore #i don't want to keep this in my head but sharing it won't automatically stop it #but it will make others disgusted that those things could even be thought up in my mind wouldn't it #i feel. bad. and angry at myself. for even thinking of this. #i say I can't control it but the thoughts are in my mind. im still thinking it. #it's either pathetic that i can't control my own mind #or disgusting that I can think that and then subconsciously or something trick myself into thinking that it's not actually me. #and im sick and tired of all of these horrid thoughts but they aren't gonna go away soon #and hey it's usually not constant. im even able to (sorta terrifying considering what the thoughts are) #forget about it sometimes #so hey. can't be that bad right. ill push through it and be fine! im strong enough. #but I've said that multiple times before and it got worse and eventually was just a lie. #I'm horrible #sorry for the bother if anyone has to read these tags #i just. needed to think 'out loud' so to say