#and instead of him saying you it cuts to Spongebob as the letter U saying U

[xycuro-illuminati]

There's so many vines that have been lost since it got shutdown and now that I have learned some video editing skills, I can easily recreate a good amount of them like this is actually wild. There's so many to choose from. Me from High School would've lost their SHIT.

#tfw talking #theres this one vine that I could easily recreate #its just the drake cellphone song where when he says “ever since I left the city” #and instead of him saying you it cuts to Spongebob as the letter U saying U #and it was the funniest shit to me bc my sense of humor is that stupid #I can recreate this now #theres other vines that I remember that I can recreate #im just holding back

[cosmosogler]

i feel sick... i can’t eat very much. it’s so frustrating.

i woke up on time even though i was grumbling about it to my alarm. i had a very, very violent dream. it’s amazing how impactful a few minutes out of hours and hours can be. it was like that scene from indiana jones where the nazis open the ark of the covenant cut into the middle of a platform puzzle. though it’s not hard to see why the house was so burned-out considering what was in the tree the house was built around.

phew. ok. breakfast was really difficult. i had some toaster strudels because i just wanted something that tasted nice. i mostly poked around all morning until about 8:55 when i left for campus. i was early to my lab so i took a few deep breaths in the office while i waited for ioannis to finish teaching his section.

i found out recently that his name is spelled with an i and not with a u. that might explain why he thought i was calling him “janice” instead of “janus.” 

greek spelling is weird.

i taught my lab. i didn’t do as badly as last week, but i did make a big goof while explaining the vector graph and that made half the class’ labs wrong in the last page. i’ll make a note on everyone’s work and not take any points off because that is my fault. i only discovered that i’d made such a boneheaded mistake when it was giving one table a lot of trouble. i wondered why no one had asked me about it before them. maybe it’s because most of their vectors were coming out pretty even in length so the mistake wasn’t noticeable until one table had uneven vectors to work with. i dunno.

ugh... my stomach hurts a lot. after my lab i went to my office hour and had a small snack. after my hour was up i went in the office and ate some of my salad but i didn’t like it enough to eat all of it. it’s not very much salad at all but i only ate like 2/3 of it. i left most of the other food alone except for a little dried fruit strip.

then after i took a little while getting settled i worked on homework until 3, when i had my meeting with the e&m professor about my disability accommodations. that took quite a while, especially since he had highlighted the fine print and scolded me for not reading it. 

admittedly i did not read the fine print, which said i was required to hold an appointed conference with my professor to discuss the accommodations. i had been told by the office that i could just drop it off in their mailbox and only had to talk if i wanted to so i went off what i was directly told. but it took him a couple minutes to tell me that i was wrong so i sat and listened to how i was wrong.

i went back in the office, had a cookie, and then went to meet with my quantum professor. that took about 5 minutes. he just wanted to know what the words meant and where i wanted to take my extended tests since the classroom wouldn’t be available for all my allotted time.

then i went back in the office and had one of my “fig bars” (like a granola bar, but made of fig newton) and went back to work. i was a little over halfway done with the assignment by 5 when i met with my mechanics professor. he just wanted to read the accommodation letter out loud to make sure he had everything right. that took 3 minutes.

i’m... not confident about my physics abilities. you know that already. i worried i was annoying suzanne by asking if i was doing it right after every step. i did figure out what to do by myself some of the time though! and she would say i was right except for like a factor of 2 that i missed somewhere, or a misplaced negative sign. that’s a good sign, right?

by 7:30 i was so tired that i gave up on the second half of the last question and didn’t want to ask suzanne about it any more. i saw that the bus would arrive in about 18 minutes so i packed up and headed to the bus stop. but the bus schedule app was wrong! the bus was 10 minutes earlier than it said it would be, so i just missed the last bus home. i had to walk 40 minutes home. it was dark when i got to the apartment.

is it... possible to have an irritability-fueled panic attack? that’s what it felt like. i couldn’t breathe. i was so tired and hungry and angry. i was so worked up but i was also very restricted by my backpack’s straps and how heavy my textbook and notebooks were. i couldn’t get out any of that angry energy. so it came out in a lot of angry cursing thoughts and being unable to breathe and a hot face and itchy eyes and jerky arm motions while i tried to hold my backpack off my shoulders for just a few minutes to give them a break.

when i did get home i immediately made dinner. i made a whole bunch of spaghetti but i didn’t make it very well. i wasn’t in the mood to actually cook though.

the most frustrating thing was that i could feel inside that i was still starving but my body would not let me eat any more food. i had to throw away a whole bunch and i was still hungry but if i ate even one more bite i was going to puke. i had to lean over the sink and put my hands on the sides and take deep breaths. i still feel queasy.

by then it was after 9. mom called and i complained about my inability to eat and how tired it is making me. she told me to try harder to be not anxious.

ok, mom.

she did tell me that eve is starting to walk better, without bobbing her head up and down so much when she scoots her back foot forward. and i heard wiley barking. she didn’t say how diogi was doing. i don’t think she’s doing well. 

mom wants for her and dad to come over during thanksgiving. she wants me to stay in orlando in a hotel room with both of them. i made a bunch of wishy washy excuses about homework and grading. but really i just don’t want to be in a hotel room with my Two Favorite People for even one night. even if during the day we’d be at universal studios or whatever. i’d just be stuck... in the middle of nowhere... with spongebob and patrick...

gh thinking about it makes me afraid and uncomfortable. if my siblings were there i might consider it briefly before declining, but just mom and dad? i didn’t even have to weigh the advantages and disadvantages. i don’t want to go to a theme park with just mom and dad. i don’t want to go ANYWHERE with just mom and dad.

ha. mom told me to just try harder yet again. that’s definitely what i needed to hear. 

it’s 10:45. i was too slow getting ready for bed... the conversation with mom put me about 15 minutes behind but even then i’d be late. i still gotta give snoopy her meds... i just don’t want to do anything. i gotta go to three classes tomorrow and try to keep up. i feel like my body is shutting down, not just my brain. i feel slow and everything in my head (my teeth and jaw mostly but also my temples and forehead) hurts and i’m just uncomfortable everywhere. i can’t get my ankles to sit comfortably. my arms and shoulders and back and neck always feel stiff and bruised. i feel like if i could just eat... i might not feel so bad. even sleeping more isn’t helping enough.