#and it's the exact same complexity dean has for john. that ability to hold both love and hate for a parent

[angelsdean]

Jack: Yeah, he-he wasn't all bad, my dad. Uh, that's what makes our parents loom so large in our heads, I think. They're… a million things to us all at once.

And even after they're long gone, we're stuck with them. Can't help it. They're inside of us. You know, my whole life, I promised myself I'd be nothing like him, but…I ended up just like him.

Kevin: No, Dad. You're way better than him.

Jack: Thank you, my son. And you're gonna be way better than me.

— 5x07, This Is Us

#this is us watch #gonna rb this in a sec to say exactly this but. scenes that could've been dean and jack. scenes that ARE dean and jack. 2 me. #the father son relationships on this show are soo good and rich and they GET the complexity of the dynamic between fathers and sons #and it's the exact same complexity dean has for john. that ability to hold both love and hate for a parent #and neither feeling cancels the other out. they both just. co-exist #and that's what jack (this is us) is getting at here. that your parents can be a million things to you all at once #that you can love them for the good times and hate them for the bad and you'll carry them with you forever #you imagine them to be one way all your life then you grow up and realize oh. they were just a flawed person like anyone else. #or you become a parent and you worry you're becoming like them. and at the same time u realize how hard it is to be a parent #how easy it is to mess up without even trying #and you'll talk to your son about it. and you'll fear you're doing everything wrong #and your son will look at you and say 'no dad. you're way better than him' #and you'll hope that your son turns out to be an even better person #because you just want the best for your kids. #and just. this is a scene dean and jack could've had. another time they go fishing and john comes up #and dean tells him how bad it was sometimes. but how it wasn't all bad. because it wasn't. #and he'll worry he isn't doing things right with jack. and jack will look at him like he's his hero #because he is. because jack loves dean so much. loves the quality time they spend together. it's their love language #and he'll tell him 'no you're way better than your dad' #and dean will do the ol' face pat. like he's done before. like bobby used to do with him. and draw him in for a hug #anyways. i feel fine abt it. #fathers and sons !!!!!!!!!!!!