#and june..my gal...my queen...its hard for you to open up and i get it its okay we know you love your friends and would do anything for them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rosetlntsmyworld · 6 years

Text

rules:: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people

Thanks to my good judy @veronicasanders for tagging me! <3

— what was your last…

1. drink:: water

2. phone call:: my boss bc i’m bad at mopping floors and she wanted to yell at me for it

3. text message:: ‘where tf are you xoxo’ to my mother (she forgot to pick me up from my train)

4. song you listened to:: “Papa Don’t Preach” by Madonna

5. time you cried:: like literally yesterday bc I was listening to cute music w my gf and im a bit hormonal and got all mushy about how much i love her

— have you ever…

6. dated someone twice:: nah

7. kissed someone and regretted it:: yes

8. been cheated on:: no

9. lost someone special:: yes

10. been depressed:: no

11. gotten drunk and thrown up:: first bit yes, second bit no. i was just drunk from 11pm to 4pm the next day and had to walk around a supermarket with my mum hung over to buggery and pretending everything was fine (supermarkets are the W O R S T places you could realise youre hung over bc screaming children and also very bright light)

— fave colours

12. black

13. grey

14. burgundy

— in the last year have you…

15. made new friends:: yes

16. fallen out of love:: no

17. laughed until you cried:: yes

18. found out someone was talking about you:: yes

19. met someone who changed you:: yes

20. found out who your friends are:: ya

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list:: yes

— general

22. how many your facebook friends do you know irl:: legit all

23. do you have any pets:: yes, one dog

24. do you want to change your name:: yeah, i wanna get rid of my boy middle name (it was gonna be mary and my parents realised my initials would spell ‘emu’ and didn’t want me to get bullied. So they made my middle name duncan. D U N C A N. How is that an improvement??)

25. what did you do for your last birthday:: went to school during the day which sucked ass and then had the opening night of my first exhibit at a gallery which sucked a lot less ass. And then went and had dinner. And a hedgehog cake. Because im a mature grown up adult.

26. what time did you wake up today:: I went and delivered newspapers at like eight oclock and then went back to bed at like 10. Woke up again at midday, had a slice of toast and watched still game, and then had another nap. I am a garbage person.

27. what were you doing at midnight last night:: sleeping

28. what is something you can’t wait for:: finding out whether I got accepted to university (stole this answer from v but it’s true)

29. what is your favourite animal:: thats a horrendous question omfg i love tapirs a lot and also pigeons and seals and sharks

30. what are you listening to right now:: i’m watching gordon ramsay’s hotel hell

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom:: yeah i went to primary school with a guy called tom and he was a fucking asshole

32. something that’s getting on your nerves:: the fact that fullyi can’t . breathe through my left nostril rn

33. most visited website:: google

34. hair colour:: dirty blonde

35. long or short hair:: short-ish. Mine is like bob length w a dramatic undercut. Basically i stole dela’s boy hair

36. do you have a crush on someone:: ya

37. what do you like about yourself:: i have a nice bum

38. want any piercings:: ya

39. blood type:: oh fuck knows

40. nicknames:: edna, edina, gay puddle, mitzi, shortshank redemption, eddie, edie mcredie

41. relationship status:: dating a v cool gal

42. sign:: scorpio

43. pronouns:: she/her

44. fave tv show:: rpdr, brooklyn 99, orange is the new black, derry girls, still game, chewin the fat, the great british bake off, bobs burgers, tracey ullman show

45. tattoos:: nada as of yet but i want a good few

46. right or left handed:: right

47. ever had surgery:: nope

48. piercings:: ears x2

49. sport:: i play rugby and i wish i could dance or skate or some shit but alas i am a graceless bulldyke

50. vacation:: im going to australia for like six weeks in june aaaaaaaaa

51. trainers:: never wear em lmao im too goth for that shit

— more general

52. eating:: i went out for dinner earlier and had pizza and sweet potato fries and now im halfway to a food coma yay

53. drinking:: water or cherry coke. I also discovered lemon and mint sanpellegrino the other day and frankly id happily drown in that stuff its amazing

54. i’m about watch:: new ep of drag race

55. waiting for:: news from school

56. want:: to move out bc my room is a shittip and im done with it

57. get married:: i dont believe in marriage so probs no

58. career:: i work in a baby shop but i wanna be a tattoo artist or set designer/stage manager

— which is better

59. hugs or kisses:: hugs

60. lips or eyes:: lips

61. taller or shorter:: everyone is taller than me

62. older or younger:: older. Im a bit autistic so im kinda drawn more to people older than me bc i find them easier to talk to

63. nice arms or stomach:: stomach

64. hookups or relationships:: relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant:: troublemaker

— have you ever

66. kissed a stranger:: no

67. drank hard liquor:: yes

68. turned someone down:: yes

69. sex on first date:: no

70. broken someone’s heart:: i dont fuckin know

71. had your heart broken:: not really

72. been arrested:: no, lol

73. cried when someone died:: yes

74. fallen for a friend:: nah im fuckin heartless lmao

— do you believe in

75. yourself:: yes

76. miracles:: no

77. love at first sight:: no

78. santa claus:: i’m not fucking five (lol, keeping Wednesday’s answer here) (lol im also keeping V’s answer which she stole from v)

79. angels:: not really

— misc

80. eye colour:: grey

81. best friend’s name:: charlie aka charles aka charlize theron aka streak of piss aka pizzle aka piz (they have a v long series of affectionate nicknames lmao)

82. favourite movie:: priscilla queen of the desert, rocky horror, evita, muriels wedding, silence of the lambs, zootopia, misery

83. favourite actor:: Terence stamp

84. favourite cartoon:: bobs burgers, family guy, star wars: clone wars

85. favourite teacher’s name:: she’s known usually as ms gallagher but ive been on first name terms w her since i was like 14 so i call her sheila lmao

legit everyone I know has already been tagged lmao

3 notes · View notes

devilishdewitt · 5 years

Text

Ladies of Burlesque, June 2019

Short’n’Sweet, off we go!

First things first, the most important part of any review I shall ever write:

~The Eternal Disclaimer~

It is hereby declared that this little nook of the world wide web shall be devoted to the praise & critique of the art of burlesque, specifically in Russia.

Let it also be known that I am first and foremost a benevolent force, and every single criticism is documented solely for the purpose of evolution, growth and inspiration, darling.

Never forget - it is fantastic that the burlesque scene in Russia has grown so much in the last few years. Brava, ladies! As a fact and a statement, it is absolutely fabulous.

However, I volunteer to wear the heavy crown of expertise, having seen many a show in many a place, and having a keen eye for detail and a heart hungry for that wow factor. I always come with an open heart, am quite easily entertained, and know how hard the craft is - I can overlook many a fault when there’s stage presence, charisma and that fire of passion. Oh, and self-irony.

All is sickly without self-irony.

Now, onwards! To fabulousness!

Ah, Michel! Beautiful as you approach it, delightful as you step in, courteous waiters, excellent food!

The stage seemed a tad bit too small and a little bit too close to the audience (to my liking), and seemed quite stifling, really. However, certainly not the worst option in Moscow!

Our gorgeous swan-queen host, Anja Pavlova was on top form both nights. Her hosting excelled - the marriage of her Moscow State University philosophy faculty, English teacher experience (hello, fantasies), European lady class and Russian intelligentsia wit provide endless charm, wittiness and grace. Brava!

The chorus line was better. The routine was polished, they had fun - and so they were fun to watch. But still, ladies! Waists! Synch! It’s not that hard! A little shape goes a long way!

You, dearest darlings, already know how much I adore Ladies of Burlesque.

However, h o w e v e r, there is just one thing I can’t for the life of me understand.

The fascination with Marie Weinberg.

Is she sweet? Undoubtedly.

Is she talented? Sure.

Is she good in this show? No.

Her tone of voice is just not suited to the mood, the vibe, the occasion.

Or she simply doesn’t make it work.

She seems dead scared every time she walks on stage, she doesn’t own the audience, she doesn’t seem to enjoy herself - and the audience feels it!

Being harsh is never my intention, and I have a healthy amount of self-doubt (believe it or not, darling reader!), so I decided to ask a certain number of fellow spectators. An opinion in unison…bland.

She doesn’t feel the energy of the songs she’s singing, either. She seems to simply enjoy the sound of her own voice.

And don’t even get my started on the crumpled, non-ironed dress (girl! Get a steamer!!) and the ill-fitting gloves. Oh, Whineberg…

Blanche de Moscou. Excellent! She completely transforms on stage. The sparkle, the charm, the stories, the moves - it’s all there! This time she entertained us with her “Pink 60’s” and “Kinky” acts. Both were great, though the Kinky one still isn’t Kinky - and even inserting a fox-tail butt-plug into her belle-chose (instead of it’s derrière-destiny) at the Kinky Party didn’t help the cause.

Elisha Fox - excellent as always. Unfortunate that the video projector got in the way of his dance flow (a very low ceiling for a tall performer (especially in those heels!)).

However, his magic is inextinguishable.

Especially the “My Little Pony” addition in the end of the “Magic Lamp” number…self-irony at it’s best!

I know what you’re thinking, darling. It seems as if I write about Elisha is every review. That’s because...it is the truth! He is indeed one of the few (ahem, two) performers who are invited to almost every event. All the cliques, groups and cults want a slice of his boylesque extravaganza. Of course it’s due to the fact that he’s really, really good - but also, he’s one of a kind, and being a boylesque performer in Russia is an act of bold, glittery rebellion.

However, Elisha does get elephantine bonus points for being, indeed, the first and only of his kind in Russia. So if I were to judge our luminary on an international scale, he wouldn’t shine quite as bright, and here’s why.

The marvel lends too much focus to the technique. Burlesque is about the magic of connection - that is what the tease does, creates electricity between the performer and the audience. The tease, the joy, the desire to inspire, the will to share the story...Elisha has everything. Now he has to let it go and enjoy his time on stage. The dancing is perfect, but it doesn’t have to be. Make eye contact! Make a mistake! Breathe! Allow yourself to be alive on that stage. Because the audience wants to be alive with you.

If I could make one wish on the lamp of our dazzling genie...it would be that Tanya, aka @konfetki, would look the part. The producer of such a dazzling event deserves to look as brilliant as the show. Oh, did I say deserves? I meant should. This is in no way an attack on anyone’s freedom of expression, but there are fairly simple style rules that would amp up the full experience. It’s a question of atmosphere, of vibe, of team spirit! When the team spirit is brilliance, you dress accordingly, darling!

It’s a damn shame that Victoria Semmybird wasn’t able to come. Tales of her Dumbo act travel far and wide, and St Petersburg burlesque quite often offers a refreshing quirkiness. Moscow takes itself so seriously...perhaps we shall see a flourish of comedic acts sooner rather than later!

Tamasina Beansun was alright. Her Vaping Moon act was syrupy, sensual and full of deeply-set inner emotional drama, and her Butterfly act was syrupy... sensual...and...well, you get me.

She did expertly get rid of a naughty button - rip it off and throw it away! That’s the temperament that could make her future acts truly shine.

Her Siberian Prime inseparable, Katerina Sahara, was her usual fabulous self. Starting with her Heartbroken act, that suits any occasion with its elegant languid flow & elements of enticing percussion. But it was her second act that really made the room explode with excitement. Take a Russian jazz-pop classic, add a feisty tropical/Cuban costume, add rum, twerking and brilliant charm and you got yourself a treasure.

Masha Arzamasova, a journalist, sex blogger and all-round brilliant lady did a stand up act on night 2 - and it was excellent. Sassy, confident, hilarious - the room was buzzing long after she sat back at her table. Refreshing!

I have a feeling that the Ladies might be lending this modest little writing endeavour a pinch of their attention, as Elena the Stage Kitten had her moment to shine and it was delightful! You go, Lena!

Wish I could say the same about Jeva Noir.

I must say, it takes talent to take one of the most adored and vivid female comic book characters - POISON IVY!!, choose the deliciously malicious Uma Thurman version, make some fern fans…and make it so bland.

Girl.

Posture.

That corset does NOT fit. It’s supposed to SYNCH YOU IN.

The wig is tragic. I’m sorry, but it’s just a fact.

Actually, no. I am not sorry. The reason why I’m making these comments is because I want the quality of Russian burlesque to rise and conquer the world. Someone’s gotta tell the truth!

The choreography is awkward and doesn’t do anything. It’s just moving for the sake of moving.

You can’t take one of the most ironically sexy songs in the history of mankind and NOT make fun of it or at least ENJOY it.

Apparently there is such a thing as too much glitter ( g a s p )

Also, sticky jewels on one’s forehead stopped working since every single festival-going chick started sticking them everywhere.

Caught a glimpse of Eva out of costume - my God, how gorgeous she is! Her elegant bob haircut suits her flawlessly, she carries herself with poise…so what happens when she’s in character?

A perplexing addition to the pantheon of LoB elegance.

I have the antidote to the sadness of this last paragraph, darling reader - our paramount lady, Anja. The two acts she brought to us this time were “A Lady Loves” (the big fan one) and “You’re My Thrill” (the moon act), dedicated to her lucky Persian prince husband.

Well, let me tell you, she was our thrill.

The lady loves and oh, the lady’s loved!

What really makes her stand out is the grace, the raw emotion, the adoration of the music (we can feel it in her bones), and just how much she loves this show and burlesque.

Another thing I must mention is the costume changes. God, I love a good costume change, and Pavlova did indeed bring. it. on.

From her breathtaking golden iris Mucha Bond-girl fantasy to a vivacious green glitter tassel Christmas tree fantasy (sewn in one night with no sewing machine!), it was endlessly entertaining and captivating - much like the lady herself! Also, the new wig length worked superbly well. I daresay that a longer style suited her much better than her usual curly bobs.

“Burlesque is unapologetic”, she manifests towards the end - and god damn, the gal is right! Unapologetic in its confidence, playfulness, storytelling and celebration of being alive in those bizarre, beautiful bodies of ours!

Hoorah, ladies and gentlemen! (of burlesque and beyond)

The Ladies of Burlesque Halloween show will take place on the 1st of November at the same venue, Cafe Michel.

0 notes