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welcometothepenumbra · 5 years

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JUNO STEEL AND THE DRAGON’S DEN (PART TWO)

SOUND: RAIN. TRAIN ARRIVES, CREAKS TO A STOP. DOOR CLANKS OPEN.

CONDUCTOR: Ah, good evening, Traveler. And welcome… to The Penumbra. Take your seat, please, take your seat.

MUSIC: STARTS.

SOUND: DOOR CLANKS SHUT.

The junction lies just ahead, Traveler. If you’ll allow me just a moment.

SOUND: TRAIN WHISTLE.

(CHUCKLES) Well, next stop? Hyperion City.

SOUND: TRAIN MOVING.

A dragon that doesn’t spit fire; lions with mechanical skeletons; a security chief who makes her own staff decidedly insecure. At Polaris Park, nothing is as it seems – which makes things difficult when your job is to find out what’s true. If Detective Steel wants to survive, he’ll have to do just that: look past the holograms and the robotics and the lies to prove a killer is close by.

SOUND: TRAIN BRAKES. DOOR CLANKS OPEN, RAIN.

Our next stop: Juno Steel and the Dragon’s Den.

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

***

MUSIC: STARTS.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Ask any kid on Mars who the greatest hero of all time is and they’ll give you the same answer without blinking: Andromeda the Chainmail Warrior, the hero without a home, the lady on all the best lunchboxes. Every kid goes through a phase where they like Andromeda… and some even go through a phase where they want to be Andromeda.

One of those little saps grew up to be Juno Steel, private eye. Back when I was a kid, I used to put a colander on my head and wrestle my brother for hours while he roared like a dragon and spat all over my face. I always felt invincible back then, like nobody’d ever take me down, like I could do no wrong.

So you can tell I wasn’t a very smart kid, either.

SWIFT: This is the way out of the mountain. Watch your footing – this is supposed to be a drop, but, for us, it’s just going to be a nasty slope.

RITA: I guess this ride’s f-full’a nasty things, huh?

SWIFT: What was that, doll?

RITA: Nothin’!

JUNO (NARRATOR): Rita and I were at the home of the homeless hero right now: Polaris Park, a Northstar joint way out in the Martian desert. My employer, Ramses O’Flaherty, got most of his campaign funds from this place, and word on the street was someone was going to hit him right in the investors.

SWIFT: Careful you don’t trip, there. Try to hold onto something if you can – and that’s an offer, sweetheart.

JUNO (NARRATOR): That’s the ‘someone.’ Yasmin Swift, security chief of Polaris Park… the same park it seemed like she was trying to take down by sabotaging its star attraction. Sasha always told me I should get more interested in politics. Turns out all it took was some corporate warfare and a triple-homicide.

MUSIC: ENDS.

NARRATOR: Andromeda raced down the peak, feeling Draco’s hot breath on her neck!

RITA: I– I don’t know if I can ‘race,’ really! Feels like I can barely walk without breakin’ my little ankles…

SWIFT: You need to take a breather? I can scout ahead and—

JUNO: Nope, she’s good, thanks!

(QUIETLY) Come on, Rita, we can’t let her get too far ahead of us.

RITA: I’m tryin’, Mista Steel! But my heart’s goin’ ka-bum-bum-bum, and not in the fun way, more in the my-doctor’s-gonna-be-upset way, and our relationship is already rocky and—

SWIFT: It’s really no problem, Juno, I don’t mind.

JUNO: Just… stay within eyeshot, okay? I don’t want Rita to get lost again.

SWIFT: Alright, alright. I’ll be waiting down here.

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING.

RITA: Oh, boss, I’m so scared, hold me!

JUNO: Oof!

RITA: I just… it’s too scary! How can we keep walkin’ through this ride with her when she just roasted three people?

JUNO: Don’t really have a choice, Rita. We haven’t found any evidence yet. If the roasting didn’t happen in the dragon’s lair, we need her to show us where it did. So we’ve got to get her off guard – get her to talk about something she wasn’t planning on. Hopefully if we stay on her long enough, she’ll make some kind of mistake.

RITA: But… what if we make the mistake first?

JUNO: Oh, then she’ll definitely kill us.

RITA: Oh! Is that all?

NARRATOR (IN BACKGROUND): Andromeda raced down the peak, feeling Draco’s hot breath on her neck!

JUNO: Look. You said you wanted to come along, and I don’t know how to operate the terminals that control this stupid funhouse, so I need you to keep it together. Okay, Rita?

RITA: I know, and I do wanna help, it’s just… sometimes I look at her face and it’s just so pretty I forget she’s the bad guy.

JUNO: Bad people come in all kinds of packages.

RITA: Yeah, but it just seems like a waste when the package is so beauuuuuuutiful…

SOUND: SLAP.

Snap out of it, Rita!

JUNO: Hey, uh… you don’t have to hit yourself so hard—

RITA: ‘Course I do! You’re relyin’ on me, boss! Polaris Park’s relyin’ on me! That means every little kid on Mars– no! Every little kid in the galaxy is relyin’ on Rita! And I ain’t gonna let ‘em down. Now come on, time’s a-wastin’!

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

JUNO: …Huh.

SWIFT: Feeling better? We’re almost there.

NARRATOR: Andromeda raced down the peak, feeling Draco’s hot breath on her neck!

SWIFT: And that’s the last time you’ll have to hear that line, at least. Here’s the door.

SOUND: HEAVY DOOR SLIDES OPEN.

NARRATOR: The lions– lions– lions– village! Andromeda cheered as the– returned to the village! Liiiooooons—

SOUND: STATIC, ELECTRONIC GLITCHES.

RITA: Whoaaa. This room looks like it got kinda sick, boss!

SWIFT: Audio’s glitching out like crazy… can’t be good.

JUNO: Audio’s not the only thing that’s messed up – take a look at that cart. Banged-up and stuck in the side of one of these lions… looks like this thing flipped straight off the tracks.

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

SWIFT: This must have been from when the engineers were running empty carts before their test ride. (WHISTLES) Well, we should probably keep moving. Ride’s almost over, and there aren’t too many other places it could’ve killed them. And if we don’t find anything, I guess that dragon spits real fire after all.

RITA: But… it doesn’t. We just saw that it didn’t spit fire.

SWIFT: Did you? I don’t remember that. I remember a whole lot of fire, in fact. Don’t you?

RITA: B– but…

JUNO: Right, fire. That’s what dragons do, isn’t it?

SWIFT: Hey, uh… what are you up to over there, Juno?

SOUND: CLANKING.

JUNO: What P.I.s do: poke around. There’s all kinds of debris in this cart. Fur and plastic and… huh. Whaddaya know.

RITA: Is that a license?

JUNO: Torn ID tag. Looks like it belongs to Marina Ricci, Polaris Park Engineer. And there’s blood on it.

SWIFT: That’s… weird.

Ricci, huh? She left a month ago. Fired after I caught her stealing from the supply rooms. No clue why her tag would be all the way up here… huh.

JUNO: A month ago? That’s interesting – blood looks fresher than that. Like, sometime-today-fresh. What were the names of the engineers that the ride killed again?

SWIFT: I don’t know. I have a hard enough time managing my team without worrying about Vega’s, too. …You don’t think Ricci could’ve been behind this, do you?

JUNO (NARRATOR): While Swift was busy cooking up a piping hot conspiracy theory, I did her job for her.

SWIFT (IN BACKGROUND): She seemed pretty ticked off when I fired her, and… she did have a history of aggressive behavior—

THEIA: Topographical analysis complete.

SWIFT (IN BACKGROUND): —plus, she’d definitely know the Dragon’s Peak well enough to break it in all the right places.

JUNO (NARRATOR): And just like that, I had the answers.

SWIFT: Uh, Juno? You in there?

JUNO: If Marina Ricci is in here, it looks like she went that way.

RITA: But… there’s nothin’ over there, boss. The tracks go this way.

SWIFT: You need a doctor, Juno? You’re talking nonsense and your eye is, uh… a whole mess of colors.

JUNO: Cybernetic eye, Swift. All the worst investigators have ‘em. It’s what gives us the leg up we need to stay in this business. Without it I wouldn’t be able to tell you that there are four pretty clear sets of footprints in the grass walking from the cart to that patch of sky right over there.

RITA: But… they just disappear into the sky? Where do they go?

JUNO: It’s not the sky, Rita. Remember what our resident expert Yasmin Swift said: everything in here’s holograms or robotics or practical effects. Which means if it looks like the sky, there’s one thing we know about it: it isn’t the sky.

SWIFT: (SNORTS) Oh, come on. I saw someone on the tracks up by the peak. That must have been Ricci! Are we really going to let her keep running while you walk in circles because your eye’s glitching out?

JUNO: I don’t think it’s a glitch, Swift.

SOUND: TWO METAL TAPS.

Bingo.

SOUND: DOOR CREAKS OPEN.

A door hidden in the holograms… says ‘Maintenance’ on the inside. This must be a service hallway of some kind. You know about this, Swift?

SWIFT: Like I said, I haven’t been through here in years.

JUNO (NARRATOR): It was the first time I hadn’t seen even a hint of a smile on Swift’s face. Northstar trains ‘em good, but I had nearly thirty-nine years of experience pissing people off, so really, my win was inevitable.

But more importantly: I didn’t need a top-of-the-line cyber-eye to tell me she didn’t want us in there… and that meant I wanted to go in there as soon as possible.

RITA: I don’t know, Mista Steel, it’s pretty dark and cramped in there…

JUNO: Still, seems worth checking out, doesn’t it? Bloody ID badge, four sets of footprints… oh, hey, that’s enough for all three victims and the saboteur, isn’t it, Swift? Think we should check it out?

SWIFT: Hmph.

JUNO (NARRATOR): And that’s when I knew I’d rolled the dice one too many times. Because then the old Northstar smile came back, genuine as ever… and I saw a plan flickering in Yasmin Swift’s eyes.

SWIFT: Yeah. We should check it out. It’s narrow, though; we’ll have to walk single-file. I’ll go first, Juno’ll take up the rear. We can protect this pretty little number easier that way.

JUNO (NARRATOR): I couldn’t let her win, I thought. And that thought’s exactly why she won.

RITA: Boss?

JUNO: How about I go first? I’ve got the gun, and we don’t know who’s in there.

SWIFT: That’s a great idea, Juno! Go on in. Then you, doll.

JUNO (NARRATOR): So we were stuck.

I knew she was suspicious of us by this point, but she didn’t know for sure that we’d caught her. Until she was positive, she still had a thin hope of getting out of here looking innocent… and even if that hope was getting thinner by the second, it still gave her enough of a reason to keep up that friendly park cop act.

I wanted that act to stay on stage as long as possible. Security Chief Yasmin Swift at least had to pretend to want us alive. Triple-murderer Yasmin Swift? Not so much.

So we walked down the hall: me, then Rita, then Swift.

SOUND: ECHOEY BANGS & CLANKS. METAL CREAKING.

RITA: I don’t like those noises, Mista Steel… I swear, if I hear one more boom or bang or pop I’m gonna boom-bang-pop right outta my skiiiiiin!

SOUND: ROARS.

OH NO OH PLEEEEEEASE NO!

JUNO: Rita, it’s just the stupid ride. We can hear it through the walls.

NARRATOR: (MUFFLED) “You have done it!” roared Chief Leo. “My, this crown truly befits the Chief of the Kings of the Jungle! Now, Andromeda, I shall show you your portal home!”

RITA: Boss, that wasn’t what I—

SOUND: BLADE UNSHEATHING.

(GASPS)

JUNO: Damn it, are you gonna yell every time this ride sneezes?

NARRATOR: (MUFFLED) But even as Leo brought her to the portal, Andromeda felt guilt bubbling in her stomach.

RITA: That ain’t it, boss! It’s a kn-n-n—

SOUND: LOW ELECTRIC HUM.

(GASPS)

SWIFT: No need to jump, sweetheart. That was just me getting my stun knife ready. Thought I saw something in the shadows – I wanted to be… prepared.

RITA: (WHISPERING) Mista… Steel…!

JUNO: (GROWLS)

SWIFT: Door’s just ahead. Mind letting us in, Juno? The sooner we get out of here, the better – I don’t like not having a clear line of sight.

JUNO (NARRATOR): If I wanted to catch Swift red-handed, it’d have to be soon… and I’d have to use one of the Theia’s functions that I’d never touched before.

So I touched it.

THEIA: Rec Mode activated.

JUNO: (QUIETLY) Yes!

THEIA: Fifteen minutes. Remaining.

JUNO: (QUIETLY) No!

SWIFT: What was that, Juno?

JUNO: Uh… nothing. The door’s just… jammed.

SOUND: DOORKNOB RATTLING.

THEIA: Error. Cannot deactivate Rec Mode. Please wait for time. Out.

JUNO: (MUTTERING) I’ll give you a time out, you lousy eyeball!

SWIFT: Have you tried the doorknob?

JUNO: Ohhhhh.

SOUND: DOOR OPENS.

Look at that! It was pretty stupid of me, I guess.

SWIFT: Day’s still young. Plenty of time to act stupider. Not that I’d recommend it. Now move. Please.

JUNO: I’m goin’!

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Through the door was what looked like a central control room: a big, imposing terminal stood on one side, gathering dust, and there were two carts lined up on a track that snaked out the room through a tunnel in one side. Backups or maintenance carts, I guessed.

A control room in a ride that controls itself; a maintenance room the maintainers never checked. Not a bad place to lay a trap you didn’t want anyone to see.

JUNO: You sure you never heard about this before, Swift? Seems like a pretty major part of Andromeda and the Dragon’s Peak.

SWIFT: A major part of its maintenance, from the look of it. But, I’m not maintenance.

JUNO: Seems like a pretty big security risk to have all of your surveillance footage centralized for anyone to access.

SWIFT: This doesn’t have to get ugly, you know.

RITA: Wh-what?

SWIFT: I mean I’m a patient woman, but I’m not gonna stand for insults. I said I didn’t know about this room, that means I didn’t know about this room. I don’t want this to get ugly. But if you want a fight, Juno—

RITA: Oww!

SWIFT: —there’s a way this shakes out that looks bad for everyone.

JUNO: Alright, alright. Point taken. So… how do we make this look better?

SWIFT: That’s… a good question.

You made an interesting point. This system is pretty insecure, isn’t it? Think it’s so insecure you could crack it?

RITA: Oh, no, no no no, not him. Mista Steel can barely enter his PIN number, which is 33332, so forget about a two-hundred-digit password—

SWIFT: Just a flimsy password? That’s no good. Hey, if that’s all that’s keeping this ride from turning into a murder weapon, it really is dangerous. So, why don’t you head over to the terminal, and enter the password like Rita tells you. And if it works, I’m gonna have some stern words with Vega later.

RITA: I-I could just enter it myself, Yasmin—

SWIFT: Nope, I think you’re gonna stay right here with me. Go ahead, Juno. Enter the password. Or else this might get ugly.

JUNO (NARRATOR): So I walked up to the terminal and Rita started reciting the password.

RITA: Three, five, A, X, omega, twelve—

SOUND: SLOW BEEPS.

JUNO (NARRATOR): For five minutes.

RITA: —W, backwards-W, C-with-a-little-tail-thingy, five, six, seven, eight, umlaut-with-no-u, zero, and that’s it.

JUNO: Finally.

SOUND: ERROR BEEP.

What the hell? You sure zero was the end of it, Rita?

RITA: What? Zero wasn’t the end. I said ‘that’s it,’ didn’t I? You were supposed to type ‘that’s it.’

JUNO: You’re kidding me.

Alright. From the top. One more time.

JUNO (NARRATOR): So we burned another five minutes. And all the while, Swift stayed silent, smiling, and Theia ticked down.

THEIA: Rec Mode has. Five minutes. Remaining.

JUNO: (MUTTERING) I know, I know…

SOUND: BEEPS.

RITA: …seven, eight, umlaut-with-no-u, zero, and T… H… A… T—

JUNO: Yep, yep, got it, thanks.

SOUND: SUCCESS BEEP.

(SIGHS) Finally.

SWIFT: You’re in. Good. So let’s try to think like the saboteurs… what would they meddle with first?

I’m guessing… the controls to the different power lines are at the bottom left-corner of the screen. Seems like it’d be good for everyone if you checked those out, Juno.

JUNO (NARRATOR): And then I knew why she wanted me to use the damn terminal. Because if she did it, her back would have to be to us for the time it took her to enter the password… whereas if Rita did it, she might actually be able to cause some damage. Me, on the other hand – looking at those flashing buttons and switches and numbers and lights made me feel like my cyber-eye was gonna spin right out of its socket.

But I had to act. And if I was gonna convict Swift for this, well…

THEIA: Rec Mode has. Three minutes. Remaining.

JUNO (NARRATOR): …I had to act now.

Luckily, I still had something up my sleeve. Because Juno Steel doesn’t know a hell of a lot about computers, but he did pass all of his computer classes, which means there’s one thing he does know how to do: bluff.

SWIFT: Well?

JUNO: Yeah, don’t know how to break it to you, Swift, but I’m not seeing any “power” options. Just a lot of stuff about backup security footage… d’you know anything about this?

SWIFT: Backup what?

JUNO: Yeah, it says it was all recovered from drive wipes within the past twenty-four hours. Weird, huh? Should I play one?

SWIFT: Don’t touch that screen.

JUNO: But this is what we’re looking for, isn’t it? Let’s see what happened to that weird upturned cart earlier today.

SWIFT: Hands off the screen or your very pretty secretary gets it!

SOUND: BLADE UNSHEATHING, LOW HUM.

RITA: (SCREAMS)

SOUND: GUN COCKING.

JUNO: Drop the knife, Swift. The game’s up.

SWIFT: I told you it didn’t have to go this way, Juno. I don’t want to do this.

JUNO: Then don’t.

SWIFT: You’re not really in a position to be making demands. You messed up. It didn’t have to go this way. Now, slide that gun over to me, and then delete the footage like a good little lady.

JUNO: But—

SWIFT: Now!

RITA: Ow, ow, ow!

JUNO: Fine.

SOUND: CLUNK. SLIDE.

There. Happy?

SWIFT: It’s been a bad day, but at least it’s almost over. Now, delete the footage.

JUNO: What’s it show that you’re so scared of, Swift? The part where you waited for the engingeers who rode through earlier and flipped their cart? Or the part where you led them down the hallway at knifepoint?

SWIFT: Sure, I dragged the engineers in here. And sure, somewhere between here and the end of the track I… I mean, they got roasted. But knowing that isn’t gonna do you any good anymore, Juno, because you’re gonna wipe that evidence, and then you’ll have nothing. At. All.

JUNO (NARRATOR): And right on cue, my time ran out.

SOUND: BEEP.

THEIA: Rec Mode. Complete. The last fifteen minutes of video recording have been sent to. Ramses O’Flaherty. For analysis.

JUNO: Sure, Swift. Nothing. You want me to hit delete, here?

SWIFT: I do.

JUNO: There. Done.

SWIFT: …No it isn’t.

JUNO: What?

SWIFT: The terminal didn’t beep when you deleted it.

JUNO: Uh… “beep.”

SWIFT: I can see your mouth moving.

JUNO: No you can’t.

RITA: Ow! Boss!! Stop goofin’ around!!

JUNO: Alright, alright, I admit it. There were never any backups. I was bluffing, alright? I’ll go to your stupid power menu.

SOUND: BEEP.

There.

SWIFT: It’s about time. Now, play nice for three steps and we can be done with this nightmare, alright?

JUNO: Whatever you say.

SWIFT: Good. Activate Emergency Cart B.

JUNO (NARRATOR): There were five power lines on the screen. One: ‘Lighting and Audio’; two: ‘Carts and Robotics’; three through five: ‘Emergency Carts A, B, and C’. Only ‘Lighting and Audio’ was on. I tapped ‘Emergency Cart B.’

SOUND: BEEP.

And the first of the two carts in line started rolling away.

SOUND: WHEELS CLACKING ON TRACKS.

SWIFT: Good. Now, step two: catch.

JUNO: Huh?

SWIFT: (GRUNTS)

SOUND: QUICK FOOTSTEPS.

RITA: Whooaaa!

JUNO: Rita!

Oof!

SWIFT: And as for step three…

Hup!

SOUND: THUMP.

You stay here, and I catch my ride!

JUNO: Damn it, Swift! Get back here!

I gotta go after her, Rita.

RITA: Boss, I ain’t gonna let you run off again.

JUNO: No, you’re not. You’re gonna help me run off again, from here. I need you to.

SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS.

Hup!

SOUND: THUMP.

RITA: Mista Steel! Get outta that cart!

JUNO: No can do. Think you can find a way to make this cart go faster than that one?

RITA: I… I mean, sure, it’d be as easy as activating Emergency Cart C – that’s your cart – and then, well I couldn’t do it all at once but if I got through the security protocol, I should be able to write a quick little virus that’ll sap power slowly from Cart B, and put it into your cart, so you keep goin’ faster, and it keeps goin’ slower, and—

JUNO: Sure, cool, whatever. Just do it.

RITA: But Mista—

JUNO: Now!

RITA: Oh, alright!

SOUND: KEYBOARD CLICKING. BEEP. WHEELS CLACKING.

Have fun on the ride without me, boss.

JUNO: I won’t. Watch me on the cameras, will ya?

RITA: Mista Steel, I am not just gonna watch you have fun.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Way off in the tunnel I could see Swift’s cart, and beyond her the green plains of Lion Village all over again. In the distance I heard the ride’s next room:

NARRATOR: (MUFFLED) But just as Andromeda was about to enter the portal back home, she heard the beating of terrible wings. “Draco!” the lions screamed. “The dragon is attacking!”

JUNO (NARRATOR): And then I had a really unpleasant thought. Swift knew Rita could operate the terminal, so she must have expected I’d come after her, and she must have had a plan. And then there were the engineers, who she’d dragged to this track before she roasted them – which explained where the missing Emergency Cart A went.

Then my own eye caught it an instant before Theia did: up there ahead, two little sparks, snapping on the walls of the tunnel.

I hit the deck just in time.

SOUND: FLAMES WHOOSHING.

Jets of fire screamed over me. I managed to duck the main blast, but sparks spilled over the side of the cart and caught on my coat. I flapped it out as best I could, and then the sunlight poured in. It was a relief to be out in Andromeda and the Dragon’s Peak again, where the fire was just hot air and nothing was what it appeared to be. Not even Security Chief Yasmin Swift, whose cart I was getting closer to every second, and who had my gun aimed at my head.

SOUND: BLASTER SHOT.

JUNO: Whoa!

SOUND: THUD.

SWIFT: (CALLING) Come out of there, Juno! You are not gonna make it to the end of this ride!

JUNO: (SHOUTING) Good. Isn’t there a big drop at the end? I hate drops.

SOUND: BLASTER SHOT.

SWIFT: (CALLING) Cart’s not thick enough to deflect laser fire! All I have to do is keep shooting holes in it, and one of them has to hit you!

SOUND: BLASTER FIRE.

NARRATOR: “You warned me, Andromeda, but I did not listen,” said Chief Leo. “Go on! Go through your portal home! The dragon will rage, and the lions will pay for my greed.”

JUNO: (SHOUTING) No, but seriously, how long do we have until the drop? I-I hate that sick feeling in your stomach when—

SOUND: BLASTER SHOT.

Well, guess you’re bored of that joke, huh?

NARRATOR: Andromeda looked at her portal. Home was within reach. Polaris at last. But a hero heeds the call.

SWIFT: (CALLING) Damn it! Sit still!

JUNO (NARRATOR): Swift’s cart banged into the doors to the next room and she lost her footing for a second—

SOUND: BANGS.

JUNO (NARRATOR): —just long enough for me to see what was comin’ next. A raging storm – leaves and lions tumbling in the wind. Carts ahead of us stretching up, and up, and up, and a robotic dragon looming overhead. Swift’s cart was slowing down, and mine was speeding up. In just a few seconds, it would be within reach.

SOUND: WIND BLOWING.

NARRATOR: And so Andromeda stepped out into the storm, and she shouted:

ANDROMEDA: I stole your treasure, Draco! Now fight me!

NARRATOR: And the dragon’s winds whisked her into the air.

SWIFT: Alright, Juno: stand up, and give up! …How the hell did you get so close?

JUNO: Your cart’s slowing down, Yasmin! Hup!

SOUND: THUD.

Ow!

SWIFT: Real graceful.

JUNO: Yeah, not my best, I’m a little distracted. Did I mention I don’t like big drops?

SOUND: BLADE UNSHEATHING.

Whoa!

SOUND: LOW ELECTRIC HUM.

SWIFT: This could still end easily. Stand still, and I’ll make sure you don’t have to feel anything.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Luckily I’d learned a thing or two from watching someone better than Swift work his way around a knife. She cut a good gash into my shoulder—

SOUND: SLASH.

JUNO: Agghh!!

JUNO (NARRATOR): —but it was nothing twenty stitches and a month of physical therapy couldn’t fix. Besides, she only took fifty percent of my shoulders, and in the brawl, I managed to get one hundred percent of her weapons.

JUNO: Hah!

SOUND: METALLIC CLATTER.

SWIFT: Damn it! My knife! I’ll get you—

JUNO: Hah!

SOUND: THUNK.

SWIFT: Damn it! Your gun!

JUNO: I basically only got the one move but it’s working out okay so far. Wanna punch it out?

SWIFT: Love to.

SOUND: GRUNTS, PUNCHES.

NARRATOR: Andromeda and the dragon wrestled through the storm, trading blow for blow!

JUNO: Wow, I have had enough Andromeda for today!

SWIFT: God, Juno, she’s the galaxy’s favorite hero! What is wrong with you?!

JUNO: Let’s not get into that. Speaking of heroes: what the hell?

SWIFT: What the hell what?

JUNO: You, the murders, the whole everything. Like, what?! You work putting smiles on kids’ faces at The Place That Fun Calls Home TM for a decade, and then one day you decide, “Actually, screw this, let’s burn it and a few engineers to the ground?”

SWIFT: You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!

NARRATOR (IN BACKGROUND): Andromeda and the dragon wrestled through the storm, trading blow for blow!

Hahh! JUNO: Yeah, you’re right. I probably don’t.

(GRUNTS) But I’m willing to listen.

SWIFT: You don’t know a goddamn thing. This all could’ve worked out, but you don’t know a god! Damn! Thing!

SOUND: GRUNTS, PUNCHES.

NARRATOR: Andromeda and the dragon wrestled through the storm, trading blow for blow!

SWIFT: It’s about priorities! It’s about doing what you have to do, no matter how much you’ll hate doing it! I’d do anything for her!

JUNO: Her… you mean your kid?

SWIFT: Don’t talk about her. (GRUNTS)

JUNO: Agh!

MUSIC: STARTS.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Swift rang my church bell hard enough to make the angels nervous and I fell back against the corner of the cart. She was about to follow it up with a hit to send me really flying, too, until she noticed what Rita had been up to.

SOUND: CLANG. BRAKES SCREECH.

SWIFT: Why did the cart stop? What did you do?

JUNO (NARRATOR): Rita’s plan to sap the power from her cart to mine worked… a little too well.

We were frozen in place, now, at the crest of the ride’s biggest drop. The cart in front was stalled, no power at all, and the cart in back didn’t have the thrust to push both of them over the hill. A big, frozen robo-dragon hung over us, teeth still as stalactites and twice as sharp.

And below us lay Polaris Park, stretching out for mile after technicolor mile.

NARRATOR: And just before Andromeda killed the beast, she looked out… and saw through the distant portal. Polaris. The home she’d given up. Again.

SWIFT: Hah!

SOUND: PUNCH.

JUNO: Oof!

SWIFT: I’ve got you cornered, Steel. I don’t like to do this, you know. I’m not a killer at heart. Not really.

JUNO: (CHOKING) Funny way of showing it.

SWIFT: I didn’t like killing them, either. And I really, really don’t like killing this park. It’s worth more than all of you put together.

But you could never understand. I have to do this. A mother will do anything for her kid. You could never understand that.

JUNO: (CHOKING) Then why the hell are you doing it? Your kid doesn’t want this!

SWIFT: I don’t owe you anything! (GRUNTS)

JUNO: (CHOKING)

JUNO (NARRATOR): Above us, the metal dragon creaked to life. And there was no fire, not here, not this time, either. But…

Look, I didn’t mean to do it, alright? Because even if she was a killer, there aren’t enough people like Yasmin Swift. Everyone says they’d do anything for their kid, but the ones who mean it…

I don’t know. Maybe that’s just me.

SOUND: DISTANT WHEELS ON TRACKS.

SWIFT: The hell is that noise?

JUNO (NARRATOR): She looked away from me for just a second. And– I didn’t mean to do it. But… I guess, sometimes, no matter what the mouth says, the body wants to keep living.

So, without thinking… right before the cart Rita sent after us crashed into ours, I kicked Swift just enough to get her off-balance.

SOUND: THUMP. CLANK.

SWIFT (FADING OUT): Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!

JUNO: Swift!

Swiiiiiiiift!!

NARRATOR: And just before Andromeda killed the beast, she looked out… and saw through the distant portal. Polaris. The home she’d given up. Again.

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

***

JUNO (NARRATOR): When I got off the ride I found Rita there waiting for me.

RITA: Mista Steel! I’m so glad you’re alright!

SOUND: SOFT THUD.

JUNO: Ah!

RITA: I was so worried! I saw you on the video cameras and that mean beautiful Yasmin lady had her fingers around your neck, and I thought oh gosh! But then I thought what if I activate the line with the robots and the carts on it, and then one of them saved you, just like I planned, boss!

JUNO: I knew you’d do it, Rita. That’s why I asked you to stay behind, remember?

RITA: And it makes me sad ‘cause she did go splat, but… you were in danger, Mista Steel, and I had to save you. You can count on me, boss. You can always count on me.

SOUND: MECHANICAL, RHYTHMIC NOISES.

VEGA: Ahem.

JUNO (NARRATOR): I looked up, and there was Lorenzo Vega, on two rusty legs. He still wasn’t smiling, but he didn’t look angry anymore. Now he just looked sad.

VEGA: Detective Steel. Meet me in my office. And Miss… Whoever-you-are, I don’t know how to repay you, but, this is a free park pass for you, if you want it, but if you’re tired of Polaris Park now I could under—

RITA: A free pass?! That’s mine, thank you! See you later, Mista Steel! Have fun at work—

SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING.

(FADING OUT) —I’m gonna go eat my weight in popcorn and your weight in cotton candy and Frannie’s weight in glazed Saturn pops and the whole P.I. Registry’s weight in tiny pizzas!

VEGA: One of my engineers will show you to my office, Detective Steel. Don’t get lost.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Vega’s office was in the park’s back lot – behind the bright faces of the stores, in the dusty alleys where robo-puppets lay with their clockwork guts out and underpaid interns stood around with a cigarette in one hand and their cartoon costume’s head in the other.

The office itself was even more of a mess. Unfinished schematics on the wall, a three-foot-tall stack of work orders on the ground next to a chair, a pile of old Northstar merchandise on his desk – t-shirts and plastic mugs and action figures.

I poked through the toys for a minute, and before I knew it, one of them was in my hand.

SOUND: TOY SQUEAKS.

VOICE (FROM TOY SPEAKER): Here comes Turbo – the man of the future!

(AT THE SAME TIME) JUNO: Turbo’s here with turbo speed. TOY: Turbo’s here with turbo speed!

JUNO (NARRATOR): The voice nearly made me drop the damn thing. I used to have one of these. Hell, I used to have eight.

SOUND: TOY SQUEAK.

TOY: Stop right there, evil! The good guys always win!

JUNO: (QUIETLY) The good guys always… win.

JUNO (NARRATOR): My hands were shaking. I could remember it so clearly.

SOUND: TOY SQUEAK.

TOY: It’s time for justice! Stop right there, evil! The good guys always win!

SOUND: STRETCHING, RIP.

JUNO: (PANTING)

SOUND: DOOR OPENS. MECHANICAL, RHYTHMIC NOISES.

VEGA: Detective Steel. I see you’ve been having fun with my collectibles.

JUNO: Not really how I—

I mean… sorry.

VEGA: That toy was just a first-edition printing. Older than Andromeda. Older than you, most likely. As irreplaceable as Yasmin Swift.

JUNO: Don’t give me that. She was sabotaging your stupid—

VEGA: Or… as irreplaceable as Sarah Steel. That’s where I remember your name from, isn’t it? She was your mother.

JUNO: Listen, doc, I just want to wrap up this Yasmin Swift thing for Ramses and go on my miserable way.

VEGA: Sarah Steel… it’s been a long, long time.

I think I may even remember you. And that says something – I don’t bother to remember most people. She brought you into the office a few times, gave you your run of the Turbo merchandise. You and… oh, what was his name. Benjamin?

JUNO: Not Benjamin.

VEGA: Ben-something, anyway. You were charming children. …What happened?

JUNO: You’re the one with two metal legs, doc. I don’t think I gotta tell you that life plays a little rough sometimes.

VEGA: I was born without legs, actually. Life does ‘play rough’ – but so does birth. It’s not right, but that’s reality. Sarah seemed like life had given her challenges, too. I don’t think it was her fault, necessarily. Her being– I mean, Northstar letting her go like that.

JUNO: Didn’t ask.

VEGA: I was on the board that made the decision, and I don’t think we did anything wrong. I’ve never done anything I thought was wrong, but… we were just a little company back then. Everything we’d made was on the line! We only had the money to keep one of our writers and then your mother, trying to steal someone else’s work.

JUNO: What are you gunning for here, Vega? You want me to forgive you or somethin’?

VEGA: I just know things went poorly for her after that. Health-wise.

JUNO: Health.

VEGA: And I– expect that made things difficult for you. I’ve been thinking about that for thirty-four years, now. She doesn’t leave your mind easily, a person like Sarah Steel. Unique. Singular. A shame. She made some great things.

JUNO: So what? You want me to forgive you for firing her, or… something? Doc, I barely know the story. I don’t remember you. I was four.

VEGA: It was a difficult situation. She had some very real, well, needs. You might call them ‘moods’. And—

JUNO: Just… whatever. You want me to say I forgive you? Fine, “I forgive you.” But I really don’t care. And look: whether she had needs or moods or whatever you want to dance around and call it, the fact is she dealt with them for years, and then one day she stopped trying. Sarah Steel gave up. It was her fault, and it’s a good goddamn thing she’s dead because her mistake made a lot of misery for a lot of people. There. You happy?

VEGA: I would be a little more precise with my language, I think.

JUNO: Listen! If you don’t give me the junk you promised me on Swift right now—

VEGA: Yes, fine. We’ll drop it.

SOUND: ELECTRONIC BEEP.

There’s a clause in our staff contracts that states we legally own any personal communications made within Polaris Park. So I made a copy of all messages and comms calls she’s made at work for the past five years.

JUNO: That’s… terrifying.

VEGA: That’s industry standard. We have to make sure our secrets stay mum– uh, pop. There’s an untraceable line she spent a lot of time yesterday talking to; bartering over a job, a payment, a place to pick up the, ehm, incendiary-device, all that kind of thing. Originally they wanted Yasmin to kill a cart full of park guests, but… she wouldn’t have it. She always was stubborn.

JUNO: Just cut to the chase. Anything interesting in there?

VEGA: You might want to read the last message she received from that number. Here.

SOUND: ELECTRONIC BEEP.

JUNO: (SIGHS) “The first payment for your daughter’s procedure has been wired to Halo Medical. The remainder of your payment will be conducted in person once you’ve completed the job. Look for a woman with one ear outside the First Museum of Colonized History in… Hyperion City.”

It can’t be… the Piranha?

VEGA: If Ramses has an enemy, it follows that they’d be connected to his campaign in that roachhole. Why he wants to run it I’ll never understand.

JUNO: So whoever’s trying to get to Ramses, I’ll find a lead on them there.

It say what procedure her kid needed?

VEGA: I don’t see how that’s any of our business. And at any rate, any messages that got into specifics were sent outside of work hours, so…

JUNO: None of our business. Right.

Well, thanks for the lead, doc. I’ll put in a good word with Ramses.

VEGA: Do you like it in Hyperion City, Juno?

JUNO: Why do you care?

VEGA: Because…

Do you know the premise to the Andromeda stories? Generally, I mean.

JUNO: This important?

VEGA: I hope not. But… (CLEARS THROAT) Andromeda is the protector of Polaris, a beautiful kingdom of crystal and ice, until the day the evil wizard Orion casts a curse on her. She’ll wander the world forever, but no matter how she searches, she’ll never find her way home.

JUNO: This’d better be going somewhere.

VEGA: So Andromeda makes the best of it. She tries. Every day she follows the North Star, which lights the way to Polaris, and on her way she saves people, and stops Orion from hurting others. But she never breaks the curse.

JUNO: Pretty brutal for a kid’s show.

VEGA: Brutal? Maybe. I’ve always found it… beautiful. Sad, of course, but… Andromeda chooses not to accept any of the places she saves. She insists on going to this home, this place she can never go back to. And insists. And insists.

It’s ironic that the Andromeda pitch meeting is where your mother lost her… way.

MUSIC: STARTS.

Because in retrospect, Andromeda reminds me of Sarah. Lost, searching, never home…

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

Hold on, stop a moment. I’m trying to help you.

SOUND: DOOR OPENS.

JUNO: Think I’ve made it pretty clear how much I want this kind of help.

VEGA: You remind me of her, Juno. Truly incredible ability, a truly singular talent… with something powerful storming within you. Be careful. I’ve seen how that goes before.

JUNO: Later, doc. Really excited to never see you again.

SOUND: DOOR CLOSES.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Curses come in all shapes and sizes in this galaxy. Some curses come from evil wizards, and some come from a sickness you never asked for, and some come from a woman that nobody wants to let you shake, no matter how many years stand between you and her.

I was glad to get out of Polaris Park. I didn’t like to think about Northstar. I didn’t like to think about anything that reminded me of… her.

“Learn from the past or you’re doomed to repeat it,” they say. And maybe they’re right. But, if you take that too far, people shouting you down about the past every day, people telling you you’re going to be just like her, people saying the clock’s ticking and any day now you’re going to give up just like she did – that is a curse that fulfills itself.

I’m not going to be like her. I’m not.

(SNORTS) Famous last words, I guess.

MUSIC: ENDS.

***

SOUND: TRAIN MOVING, MUSIC.

CONDUCTOR: If you’ve enjoyed this tale, please consider donating to The Penumbra on Patreon. Our artists work tirelessly to bring you these stories, and if you have the means, we hope you will support our efforts. Every dollar helps. You can find that page at patreon.com/thepenumbrapodcast. If you support us on Patreon at the $10 level or higher, you’ll receive access to commentary tracks like this one, from actors Kate Jones, Joshua Ilon, and Bob Mussett:

SOUND: TRAIN STOPS, DOOR SLIDES OPEN, RAIN.

JOSHUA: …Y’know, we see Juno suffering, we hear the inside of his head, so we know what’s going on there. But to also see how his internal suffering also makes the people around him have a tough time, it’s… I mean he’s out there, with no regard for his life, and, Rita needs to remind him, there are– you might not care what happens to you, but other people care a lot about what’s happening to you.

KATE: I like that you’re alive, so if you could keep doing that.

JOSHUA: Right. Yeah, which is an important thing for Juno to hear, I think…

SOUND: DOOR SLIDES SHUT.

CONDUCTOR: You can also support The Penumbra by liking us on Facebook, following us on Twitter @thepenumbrapod, following us on Tumblr @thepenumbrapodcast, telling your friends about us, telling your friends to tell their friends about us, and especially by rating and reviewing our podcast on iTunes. Every rating, comment, and kind word spreads our stories further and inspires us to keep creating more and better tales to come.

We would like to give special thanks to all who support us on Patreon, but especially to Lynné Herman, Charlie Spiegel, Francie Liana, Minchowski, Gray, Jaimie Gunter, and the Princess and the Scrivener for their incredibly generous contributions per episode. Thank you.

This tale, Juno Steel and the Dragon’s Den, was told by the following people: Joshua Ilon as Juno Steel, Kate Jones as Rita, Sarah Gazdowicz as Yasmin Swift, Bob Mussett as Lorenzo Vega, and M. Sutherland as the narrator.

On staff at The Penumbra: Kevin Vibert is our lead writer and recording engineer. Sophie Kaner is our director and sound designer. Grahame Turner is our script editor. Noah Simes is our production manager. Alice Chung is our designer and financial manager. Original music by Ryan Vibert. Promotional art by Mikaela Buckley.

The Penumbra is created and produced by Sophie Kaner and Kevin Vibert.

I’m afraid this is the end of the line for today, dear Traveler. We hope you will ride with The Penumbra again soon.

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

#juno steel

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