#and this is my formal apology bc wow i genuinely feel so much better than i would have if i'd used my usual coping method

[consistentscreaming]

tonight i looked up at the stars

i was supposed to be going to bed,

school beginning early tomorrow,

but a friend texts me and says that the stars are out tonight

i went out onto the roof outside my bedroom window

and i looked up

when i looked up, i felt a wave of existential dread come over me

the stars, though much more visible tonight,

were still obscured by light pollution

and i began to spiral

i have always struggled with the idea that the moment that you are in now

is always and forever the past

and looking up at the stars tonight, i felt that all too familiar fear

and dread

and hopelessness and despair and it began to overwhelm me

and so i went inside

i went downstairs

and i told my dad how nice the stars were tonight

#typed this on my roof #idk if anyone else can relate #but i wanted to write it for myself anyway #also for anyone who may be concerned me and my did did in fact then talk about how the stars make me feel and why however #i think that the message of the poem that i was trying to convey works best when left at that #also #in the past i have scoffed at people who told me that writing about my feelings helps to process them #as well as people who said that they write poetry as a coping mechanism #and this is my formal apology bc wow i genuinely feel so much better than i would have if i'd used my usual coping method #which is ofc distracting myself until the Feelings have gone away