#and trying not to kms for being rough with this stupid masochistic cat

[cinnamon-grump]

I feel like I’ve come to understand how my idiot cat comminicates well enough to distinguish different meows n shit…

He’s really pulling that fucking “mum… mumm… mummy! Ma! Mama!!!” bit EVERY DAY. Bitch doesn’t even WANT anything he doesn’t already have, istg he JUST wants to get me up and pissed off and keep me awake

#its also kinda that game kids play of throwing shit on the floor so u HAVE to fetch it #like no fuck you #insolent little brat #eat your food and shut the fuck up #i am as good as i can be to this little bastard and all he does is scream and destroy things and climb where he shouldn’t #he thinks going UP NEAR THE CEILING FAN IS A GREAT WAY TO GET MY ATTENTION #YEAH BUT NOW IM SCARED AND MAD MARVIN #and he ALWAYS does this shit when i NEED to sleep.. #and the times where he just reeeaaally wants me to scrunch him on the rug??? #first of all FUCK YOU for ONLY liking to be pet in this one particular spot of the house #i literally cannot be on my knees there all the time iT HURTS ME #secondly ??!? do i fucking do this to you when YOU are sleeping??? i think the FUCk not #ahHHHHHH #shit man fuck #shut up ashwyn #the thing i hate most about it is how i HAVE to pet him or he wont stop #but he makes me SO f C ing angry that im SHAKING and have trouble controling my strength #so im pissed off and frantic and at the same time terrified im gonna break his stupid little cat bones with my big dumb human hands #the end result is almost always that i gotta get fUCKEC up high and cry into my pillow until i can pass out for MAYBE 4 hours before work #and trying not to kms for being rough with this stupid masochistic cat #like its well established he WANTS the nastiest most violent petting sessions u can manage.. but i still feel so guilty #the Anger in ME when it happens is probably the main culprit… #and/or whatever cocktail of mental illness my brain is sloshin aroun in #anyway… sorry.. #i think i will delete this within the hour i just.. im so tired n i needed to get this out of my system..