#and while i spent 6 hours on thanksgiving cleaning he watched fucking lady bird and didn’t lift a hand to help until i begged him to sweep

[c-nan]

really gotta assess the anger i have when it comes to my brother

#it eats me up and sits like a fucking boulder in my chest and makes me wanna cry and scream #and tbf i have a good reason for the anger this time #the last 3 days my parents and i have been extensively cleaning the house so he can have his friends over for a friendsgiving this + just #general hanging out and such #and he said he’d help clean but like always he didn’t do shit #we went away to oklahoma bc ✨ social anxiety ✨ but we came back today and the house was a mess lmao (not too much of a mess but yeah) #so we spent sometime before chilling cleaning before he came back with his friends #then we started watching a movie and it was all nice and fun till he came back #(let me be clear. i love his friends. they’re always so nice and fun and aweosme. i’m not mad at them.) #anyway so they come back and then leave again but this time seth stayed back to clean what mess they made #and then we spent another hour (even though i have to sleep at midnight and the movie is 2 hours long) cleaning and while he actually helped #this time it wouldn’t have hurt him to do it by himself after not doing anything for 3 whole days #yeah okay i’m not quite as mad anymore lmao this ranting thing really helped #i think what made me so mad is that he never ever ever helps clean and we’ll beg and all that and he barely does anything #and he’s mean too #and while i spent 6 hours on thanksgiving cleaning he watched fucking lady bird and didn’t lift a hand to help until i begged him to sweep #the entryway #bc my feet hurt and i was tired and had a million other things to do #and mind you my parents were cooking so i had two floors to clean. vaccum. and dust alone. #and idk it’s that + all the shit he’s put me through growing up that i just have inherent rage at him #there’s only so many times i can be mistreated before everything seems like mistreatment