#and xtianity is so fucking normalized that nobody blinks an eye about it

[deservedgrace]

i appreciate the curiosity and desire to understand when people ask me what growing up religious/in a cult was like, how religion and religious trauma impacts me, why i'm so against christianity, but i kind of dread those questions now because it's so... impossible to explain it properly. i don't know how to explain to people that don't have that experience that it's everything and it's a million little things.

#like. there's a reason my therapist didn't really get the religious trauma until we had been working on it every week for at least a year #i keep trying to write this post and explaining it but i keep dissociating and like #that's part of it too #there are a lot of things i don't remember that only come to me when i'm triggered/having a flashback #there are a lot of things that are normalized so even when i realize they're traumatizing #other people don't #there are a lot of things that don't sound very upsetting and only make sense in the context of larger things #there are some things you can't understand the weight of unless you've been in it #there are some thing you just straight up forget until something reminds you of it #there are just... so many bits and pieces that make up what makes it traumatic #and xtianity is so fucking normalized that nobody blinks an eye about it #if i never have to explain my religious trauma to a MHP again it will be too soon #religious trauma #ex christian #ex cult