#angsty lucy tara RISE

[performativezippers]

awake

I posted this meme on twitter and then i FULFILLED IT and then some.

You can find the full fic on AO3, and start reading it below. It's two chapters, and the second will be up in a few days.

The nightmares change again after Venezuela.

You’ve always had them. Ever since you can remember, you’ve spent your nights terrorized by people and feelings and images that were too much for you. Too much for any child. They were horribly adult nightmares, even when you were three or four. Your parents, dead. Your brother, decapitated. Your sister, wailing, blood pouring out of her eyes. Your house, sinking into the pit quicksand that was inexplicably where the garden should have been.

And water, always always water. Rising, frothing, waves coming out of dry land to sweep you off your feet. Eels muscling themselves up out of every pipe in the house, ripping your skin open with their sharp teeth when you were in the bath and on the toilet and millions of tiny ones gushing out the showerhead, tangling themselves in your hair until you woke up screaming.

As you grew older, the nightmares changed. You realized you were gay, and your dreams shifted from failing classes and falling off the top of the pyramid to your father screaming at you, his face gray and rotten, worms coming out of his mouth to rain down on you. You desperately sobbing in a room you couldn’t get out of, your legs leaden and impossible to move, as the rest of the family left the house, and you knew they’d never come back.

Marcella, standing on top of the pyramid, her white sneakers pristine, her ponytail flawless, her smile fixed in place as she, in the slowest motion, pushed you off. You toppled down for what felt like minutes, crashing into kids on the pyramid who felt like boulders, kids who would push you off them like Scar throwing Mufasa off the cliff, over and over as you tumbled head over feet. Your shoulder or neck would hurt for days after that nightmare, like it had really happened to you, like you’d really hit that mat.

After what happened at that party sophomore year, the next two years were filled with nightmares of violence and blood and a demon baby growing inside of you. Grasping hands and grunted demands and pain, a deep wrenching pain that never left you, even when you were awake.

You didn’t tell anyone. You’d told your parents when you were little, but they hadn’t understood. You were the fourth of five children; they knew what childish dreams were, and they were not worth this much drama, this much attention. It wasn’t real, they said, the very last time you ever tried to tell them. Go get dressed. You were six.

I can’t, you’d said at first. There’s a monster rotting under my bed. I can’t go in there.

Get dressed, you father snapped. Stop making up stories. Be quiet like your brothers and sister.

So you got dressed, trembling, visions of mutilated corpses hauling themselves out from underneath your bed by their long, dirty fingernails making you shudder and silently cry as you pulled on your white, frilly dress. It itched. Your mom saw the tear stains on your face, and she said nothing.

[keep reading on ao3]

#angsty lucy tara RISE #awake by zipps #zipps fic #angsty whistler #kate whistler #lucy tara #kacy #ncis hawaii #ncis hawai'i #ncis hawaii season 2 finale