#anyway TMI just had to open my brain and shake these unhinged thoughts out so i can get back to work

[sanhaoche]

.

#how it's going: saw a pic of baby max verstappen with his sister and started crying bc it made me think about myself and my older sister #how he was always sensitive and soft to her even though he became sharp and hard in other ways #ive told my sister i forgive her for how she treated me when we were growing up and i honestly believe i have #but i will never ever stop feeling an immense sense of loss about the relationship we could have had #if she had held on to any softness towards herself or to me #like some things (my parents) could never have been different but others really really could have been. they should have #i think i would have been so much less miserable for my whole childhood #and a lot less fucked up now #anyway TMI just had to open my brain and shake these unhinged thoughts out so i can get back to work #i truly never stood a chance against maxiel it's just pure projection hours 25/8 round here onto these two men specifically #should probably delete this later LOL #im so sorry i tried hard to stay a max anti #but unfortunately i too had a horrible childhood that dominates every aspect of my self and life today