#anyway sorry i dont have a public twitter so im saying my piece here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

laufie · 5 years

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here’s a fun story about a creepy dude/stalker i had. it was a strange situation at the time, and i realize in hindsight i should have been much more scared, but it’s been over 10 years so i can just laugh about it now. it doesn’t describe anything traumatic or graphic, but it’s quite eerie.

anyway, i was about 15 or 16 years old at the time, and it had been just over a year since i moved to canada from ukraine. i still used vk (russian equivalent of facebook) frequently to chat with friends, and had an inside joke in my bio about taking LSD. i wasn’t actually taking anything, as i said it was an inside joke.

out of nowhere, this russian dude sends me a pm about how if im really taking LSD i should be able to name some specific formula or dosage or something. i explained to him that it was an inside joke and i know next to nothing about the drug itself, and he laughed it off. we started talking because i noticed it said on his profile that he currently lived in new york, which was a place i’ve always dreamt of visiting. we ended up talking every day about random things, mostly his love of new york and the array of recreational drugs he does.

he didn’t seem dangerous. he never talked about heavy drugs like heroin or meth, and was heavily against them. he was russian of course, as he was in new york only temporarily, so i felt a sense of connection to him, since i was still overcoming the cultural shock of moving to canada. to my mind at that age he didn’t seem like he had any bad motive. he didn’t ask especially prying questions, he was always nice and well-spoken, and enjoyed philosophical discussion. he gave off a vibe of a trustworthy person, which is a note of positivity that would have persisted throughout this whole story...

had he not been 7 years older than me. an important detail that slipped through the cracks at the time - he was 22 when i was 15. i knew he was more mature than me, but as far as i remember, i never actually got to find out his age back then. in hindsight of course, aside from the glaring age difference, he did give off red flags. calling me much more mature than other girls my age was perhaps the most glaring one. at the time. and of course, the constant glorification of drugs.

mind you, this was more than 10 years ago. the internet was a different place at the time. there was no tumblr or twitter or adults that grew up using the internet to tell me to be careful as a minor. people did whatever they wanted to and got away with it. so naturally, i didn’t catch any of the red flags, neither was i even on the lookout for them in the first place.

skip forward nearly a year, my mom knows a lot about this guy, since i’m quite open with her about, well, everything. my mom has always been my best friend. that summer we were planning a 3 month long trip home, to ukraine. him and i thought it would be cool to met up, since by now he was back home in russia. for reference, ukraine is to the far left side of russia, whereas this guy lived on the polar opposite side, on a piece of russian land that is right above japan. he would have to fly across the entire russia to see me. russia. you know, that massive thing? he was perfectly fine with it. i convinced my mom to let me meet him, and she said only if he stays at our place. naturally.

he came for only a couple days. our apartment back home is quite small so with my mom and constant family guests, there was always a pair of eyes on him. it got a little bit strange eventually. he was touchy, but not in an inappropriate way at all. i’m sure it’s not due to his personal decency, and rather because he would most definitely get caught. he would try to hold my hand, or brush my hair off my face, pat my head. things like that. it didn’t go beyond that. but to me, at the time, it was a grown adult man doing it to me, which gave me an unsettling anxious feeling.

on his last day he wanted to go out because he wanted me to try a drug that he had been talking about the entire time i’ve known him. i would prefer not to go into what it is, but it has a heavy hallucinogenic effect that lasts for a very, very long time. naturally he told my mom he just wanted me to show him around, and i was in on the lie. i was curious. my mom was always very strict with coming back home right on time, so we promised her we will be home by 10 pm.

we went out at around 5. and it lasted longer than he promised. way longer. we came home at 3 am. despite the hallucinations being quite heavy and mind-boggling, the effect of the drug didn’t make me feel “out of it”. my perception of time and space was obviously very skewed, but i knew who i was and where i was, and what was happening around me. he didn’t try anything. there wasn’t even as much as an attempt. except, well, when i realized what time it was i rushed home so fast that i was not going to stop for anything. so i’m not sure. maybe the night wasn’t over in his mind yet, but it was in mine. i felt bad for my poor mother who had been worried sick since 10 pm. it was pitch black outside so i went home through a well-lit road that has a lot of cars. now that i think about it, i may have unintentionally saved myself from things getting worse.

i only stopped when we were outside my apartment, because i wanted to focus as much as i could before going in. he sat down on the bench and beckoned me to sit next to him. and he kissed me. i dont remember how exactly it happened but it just kind of did. i went along with it and didn’t say anything after, i went inside the apartment building like nothing happened. it was odd. i didn’t know what it meant, but i also didn’t care, because i wanted to see my mom as soon as i could, ad it was the only thing on my mind.

one look in my eyes and she knew everything. she told me to go to bed. i don’t know what she told him. i’m not sure she said anything. the next morning she asked me if anything happened. i assured her that i was safe. and then he was gone. she didn’t say anything to him. she just dropped him off to make sure he actually left.

after that we didn’t really talk nearly as much. we tried to keep in contact but honestly, i wasn’t as drawn to him anymore. eventually, out of nowhere, he posted some really mean and rude comments under a bunch of my pictures, and i ended up deleting him.

now for the creepiest part. nearly 4 years later we plan another trip to ukraine to visit family. i have some medical conditions with my spine that i needed to get very uncomfortable and painful massages for. my health is one of the main reasons why we took trips back home often. one day about a week or so into my trip i was leaving my apartment to get into a taxi to go to one of those massage appointments. i exit the building and there he was. sitting on the bench and just looking at me. 4 years later. not a word. across russia.

even though it was bright afternoon and a lot of people were out, i was overcome with dread. i awkwardly told him “sorry, i have to go somewhere” and rushed to get into the taxi. he didn’t say anything, just kept looking. on my way back from the massage i called one of my close old friends that worked in the UKR special forces. my mom wasn’t home and i did not feel safe returning. he picked me up and drove me home, and came in with me, all the way into the apartment, the guy wasn’t there anymore. i made my friend coffee and told him about this guy. he promised to drive by once in a while to make sure he isnt hanging out here at odd hours.

later that day at around 8 pm i got a text from an unknown number. “so, are you scared of me now?”.

i closed all my blinds and curtains, locked both entrance doors, and told my female friends not to come visit me, because he knew their faces. yes, i was scared. i was really scared. he didnt say a word to me in 4 years, somehow found out about my trip and just showed up. i wasn’t sure if i wanted to cry or scream. i knew i had to get rid of him somehow. so i responded, making up a story about being really sick and needing constant treatment, and that i made plans with all my friends to leave tonight to go to another city for 3 weeks.

he was angry with me and very upset. he expected a happy reunion i guess. i was very polite to him and apologized, saying i felt bad he traveled all this way only to be told this. he started writing really cryptic things. “i know a secret how to cure any illness of yours, you don’t need doctors, it’s like a code, you plug it in and you become anything”. “i came here to cure you because you’re the only person it will work on”. “i went to your page to ask your friends if your plans are true, but you have them hidden. why don’t you trust me anymore?”

among this he called me. over and over. between every message, a missed call i refused to pick up. eventually i broke down and asked him why is he acting like this. to which he said “because you are the only woman in the world i will ever be able to love this much”. i told him i was with someone and have been for 2 years, and to leave me alone. after a handful more cryptic messages, he stopped for a while. and ended it in a plea to forgive him. i didn’t respond to anything beyond the confession.

thankfully i had no contact with him since then, and as far as i know there have been no attempts from him. however, i don’t use russian social media anymore, and none of them are linked to any of my active “american” accounts, so to speak. so there is no way for him to find me. if you ever wondered why i never make my real name public and always go under aliases, this is largely why.

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heavyyhearts-blog · 7 years

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actually heres my side

“ first, before getting to real stuff, aya has done this to other people in the past too. when she talked about them to me she said they abused her or abandoned her suddenly. i’ve only talked to one of these people, but they confirmed that aya actually abused, and then stalked them when they cut her off. i don’t have permission to post these logs so out of respect i won’t put them here. “

ive never been very clear in talking about my past experiences with most people. you make this sound as if every person that's ever "abandoned me" were all "abused" by me, when that's not the case. have i acted in shitty ways to some people? yes, but it never had anything to do with me being abandoned, at any point. one of these people, actually straight up disappeared from my life, and i have no idea why. they disappeared off skype and i havent seen them since. we had no problems between eachother whatsoever. a different example i can think of for someone i was talking about? they left because i was too stressful to be around. as in, i always complained too much and that kind of thing and it was too much to be around. i didnt even know them very long. another example of a person i mentioned with that: they had really bad schizophrenia and like, trauma issues, and what happened there? they'd randomly like? actually start basically splitting on me and getting extremely angry at me out of nowhere for no reason, which i tried to be really tolerable of, until things basically got too much for either of us to handle and after a bit of dumb drama, we separated with , i believe, no hard feelings.

my point being? when i say "ive been abandoned by a lot of people" or whatever, im not literally claiming that i was abused by literally everyone and im some huge victim, lol. that last example? you could probably say i was abused due to the level of pent up anger they were throwing at me, , unprovoked

“ i’ve only talked to one of these people, but they confirmed that aya actually abused, and then stalked them when they cut her off “

first of all, this happened literal years ago. second of all, this person is still full of shit and i can't believe they still insist all of these bullshit lies. "aya stalked me" i hadnt visited your blog for months, i'd literally forgotten about you, yet you somehow still had it set in your head that i was "stalking" you. i wanted to remake my blog for a multitude of reasons, and one of them being, a more back of my mind thing, was, i didnt want you viewing my blog. so i remade. and, like, 2-3 days later, i got paranoid that you had somehow found my new blog, entirely new, so i asked my friend to go see if my new url was on there, because i didnt want to go back on your blog myself. and sure enough, there it was, my new url, even though i hadn't given it out to anyone or posted it anywhere, meaning you literally searched through notes of a post or something along those lines to find it. yeah ive explained this so many times now its fun :) not to mention your shitty friend(s) that would constantly twist my words around and lie saying i was doingthings that i didnt. and your only "proof" was logs of talking shit about me behind my back to one of my friends, you had no screenshots of me doing anything, because guess what, i never did it. wow. "i dont have screenshots because i deleted them all" okay bud. anyway

and now here's my main issue with everything: you are "calling me out" for things we have already personally talked about, that we either resolved, or i apologized for/said that i would try to stop doing so i can better myself which i have actually done? so i literally do not understand why youre calling me out for shit as if im some malicious person trying to hurt people that's just completely incapable of getting better or whatever. lets start

“i’ve tried to cut her off several times, both by trying to talk and express my want to stop talking to her first and by just blocking/ignoring her on everything. i made it clear i wanted to stop talking the first couple of times. she will spam and beg me and make new accounts if she has to. once ive added her back however she’s used that against me”

okay youre calling me out for this but you admitted what you did was fucked up too? and i dont know what else to even say to this other than im going to try to stop getting so attached to people like that so i maybe dont have such bad mental breakdowns every time i thnk someone close to me is leaving like sorry i cant. help feeling that way or control this thing specifically unless i just dont get attached like that at all, which is my fault.

[x] [x] [x]

here, you post a completely out of context rant from me, where i got mad at something you did that you literally admitted was fucked up. full context!

[x] [x] [x] [x] [x]

you even told me you had no idea what you were talking about with any of it.

“ one of the times that we weren’t talking she DMd my twitter mutuals asking them to screenshot my recent tweets. “

i told you my reason for it. i was extremely paranoid that you were talking shit about me behind my back and i wanted to know if you were or not, even though i did it in a really shitty way. i instantly felt so beyond terrible that i had done that. i was sobbing the entire time i was trying to apologize for how fucked up and wrong it was of me to do that, and even apologized for it again later after it had happened already. because i wanted to make sure you knew how sorry i was for it. i cant take something like that back.

[x] [x]

“recently, after getting so upset with me for doing the same thing in the past, she randomly blocked me on everything and refused to talk to me. i would understand if she hadn’t previously gotten so mad and upset at me for the exact same thing. “

?? i split really bad just like i already have been, due to , as i've already exlpained, the nonstop bad things we've had between us for months, to the point i havent been able to talk to you like normal anymore, because just seeing you pisses me off and everything you say/do will just piss me off. i cant help that. its not my fault. i cant just not split like that because we've had fucked up problems for months, that, guess what, shouldnt even be public here for all reasons ive already stated! but i also did it just because ive been deciding i need to get away from you for good, that i dont WANT to talk to you at all anymore. sucks to be treated the way you treat others right.

“ i posted on my twitter saying i wanted to drink and she instantly messaged me begging and spamming me not to “

and everything else like stalling, pressuring you etc. this is still. we talked about this. i said sorry. i got better about it. why do i have a callout.

[x] [x]

like this is literally all just trying to make me look bad in ways that i'm not. nice try, though!

“ when i cc’d bakugou and she tried to make me explain my trauma to make it Valid “

you're trying to make me look bad again. i was just asking because i was anxious wanted to know the reasoning for it and im sorry for pressing it at all but that doesnt mean i was trying to make you explain it so it could be "valid" shut the fuck up lol i even explained to you afterwards why it made me so uncomfortable and that it didnt bother me anymore, that i thought you were just blindly cc'ing him for no real reason like i just assumed it wasnt a coping thing or anything and thats my fault but??? youre trying to make me look bad for it so??? i'd even keep sending you fanart of him like.

[x]

“ she was extremely dependent on me and would spam me if i fell asleep before she woke up, she’d got upset and started splitting on me because i didn’t return her feelings of attraction. “

wat...

“ second, she’s blaming everything on her BPD and “not being able to help it,” or “can’t control herself” “

well, as you can clearly see, ive been anything but that??? but if you wanna keep telling yourself that, go ahead. have i said things LIKE that before? yes, when i was freaking out, over certain things i actually can't help, for example: abandonment trauma??? and like i said before: i need to try to not get so attached to people in the first place so that doesnt happen anymore! otherwise, should some sort of situation like that happen again, i can't handle getting that level of upset. so i prevent that by not getting that level of attached at all. like sorry but theres certain things nobody can help, even you. you're just trying to make it sound like this entire thing has been nothing but "i cant help it"

and lastly, we can't forget the fact that, for a long time, you wouldn't tell me anything. literally anything. i would repeatedly ask you. "what do i do that bothers you what am i doing wrong" etc and all you'd ever say was "idk" 95% of the time. i had absolutely no idea that for the longest time, i had been saying a lot of manipulative, shitty things and acting bad and etc, slash i had no idea that some of my episodes were actually affecting you that badly until way too late.

when you first told me that i had been acting so shitty, through a jpeg meme that was making fun of me, did i realize how awful i was being. i honest to god never had any idea and i explained this to you countless times. that i was oblivious/i can be oblivious to shitl ike that and that i need you to tell me, otherwise I WONT KNOW.

nice meme. :) but yeah clearly this is still an accurate representation of me, right?

[x] [x]

yeah, you got me though. im a toxic, abusive piece of shit that will never get better, all i do is hurt others, i can't change, ive never apologized, ive never gotten better. totally

and since we're playing this game,

and now that i've said all this, i have nothing else to say. i can't make anyone believe me, but if you do, thanks.

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voidhater-blog · 7 years

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concerning void/null/data/diavolo/outsider

so if you didn’t know, I’ve made something similar about void ONCE BEFORE, because in general, they’re was gross and a known abuser. they’s generally came back yet again and has accused me of shit yet again and i told them there would consequences to their actions if they didn’t make a public apology so here we go again on this road..... especially in claims that are up on this page ( archived ). more to be added and feel free to expand on this if needed

this post is about tumblr user leemte ( leemtea ) / voidleviathan / @saintpretense / floaras / shvbon / vcoalesce / nbgiornos / twobased /goethartig / goddessfavor / @oholiness and others.

here are several other posts about this person: here, here, here, and the blog

tw for pedophilia accusations, sexually explicit talk from a minor, and death threats & suicide encouragement.

YES THIS IS ME!!!! What do you expect, literally you have suicide baited your way into making your friends say ( noah in question, bunny in question ) saying they wanted to shoot me. their reasoning after i confronted them about it ( you never apologized hmm ). BUT LETS NOT FORGET THAT YOU WANTED US DEAD AS WELL.

remember how you said i wanted you to kill yourself without any proof but you turned around and said this in the same chat that you conveniently cropped out of your cute little chat!!! sorry that we wanted to stop being friends with you so you called us pedophiles and ERASED OUR MENTAL ILLNESSES YET AGAIN!!!

BUT REMEMBER HOW YOU SAID WE WANTED YOU TO KILL YOURSELF? WHERES THE PROOF I EVER SAID I WANTED YOU TO KILL YOURSELF?

but yeah okay!!! so lets talk about this conversation [ Part One & Part 2 ] in question, when i found out that void was saying i fetishized my own abuse and erased my status as a CSA Survivor and A Incest Survivor ( Note they’ve removed this from the callout post after I told them i was gonna out them for the disgusting being they are but :) ) which i admitted to on a public twitter.

( proof this exists via my original reblog of the post calling them out on it before they edited it, which the admitted to removing in the logs )

anyway i apologized to them for my lack of ‘civility’ for this whole thing as you can see in the logs, but here are some caps just incase yall need more.

anyway i can’t believe i have to snatch their wig yet again but heres some more shit of them lying about being poor. so first things first. lets talk about where they live and about how they are a habitual liar. so first off, they sent themselves doxxing anons, so that they could garner symapthy from myself and my significant others and tried to blame it on me. im the only person who knows they were @ leemte & leemte. i don’t know their address but they sent me this.

HMMM YOU PLAYED YOUR SELF BITCH!!! Heres the cap they showed me upclose and personal. so the discussion of where they live, they’re many times have said to the people they rp with that they live in a predominantly brown and poor community. nijmegen is not a predominantly brown and poor community, according to someone that lives around the way ( a mere train ride away at that ), said that it was and i quote ‘ white and rich ’

hmmm??? void what is the truth void??? what is the truth!!! you can find some testimonials from the black working person in question here.

in other news, in regards to that page they have up. here is peaches who they stayed with for 1 month, who is significant others with PERSON A ( who will now be refered to as person a, as they have said they didn’t want to be involved with void anymore or felt comfortable with void anymore, it’s taken them 6 months to speak out about void’s abuse and now void is PURPOSELY drawing them into this even though they know THIS ) Sibling’s ( Named Gem ) Girlfriend who they stayed with for a while ( they are Aegis of Man and Gem is sparrowhearted )

( links one / two / three for readability )

not only do i have recorded testimony of void throwing hissy fits (which i can give out if needed) but also the fact that void purposely did not shower or put on deodorant during their stay. so this SMELLY BALD PIMPLE FACED LITTLE RAT sexually pressed person a and disparaged them for coming out as masculine and would not use masculine pronouns for them. heres you yet again being shitty to trans boys you transphobic piece of trash

and lets not forget you being openly sexual at 16 with people who didn’t want to, there are multiple receipts buddy of shit like this where people would try to get you off their back about your disgusting rape fantasies but helen, wait theres more: here is you yet again admitting that youre a fucking liar

BIG TALK HERE: VOID IS A FUCKING LIAR.

remember these:

cause:

void accuses noah of giving no reciepts but yet they dont give any that are of realness, i didn’t even have void on skype anymore but their name still pops up as the display name as it does last time i talked to them. case in point:

im not friends with sage but their skype name still comes up this way ( IN GROUP CHATS ) and on mobile you’d be able to see the skype or live usename and ims one on one ( on the COMPUTER ) will still have an icon / show their profile picture even if yall aint friends no more, but void the reciepts you have have no username and no icon. STOP SAYING THAT PEOPLE CAN’T SHOW CREDIABLE PROOF IF YOU CAN’T! you literally cannot sit there and say that noah won’t give proof when you don’t give proof for all your claims. if you shell out some credible proof then i’ll apologize but other than that, we all know YOU’RE GROSS and there’s NO PROBABLE cause to believe you cause you’ve lied in the past. PLEASE DO NOT DICTACT R*PE SURVIVORS BECAUSE YOU GOT YOUR FEFES HURT YOU SMELLY ASSHOLE.

they emotionally manipulated their friends into saying shit about us because they ACCUSED us of being pedophiles & pedophile apologists. me & dallas & hades, have called them out before hand!!! literally cause we outted them for being a gross rat, they accused us of being pedophiles & apologists & fetishizers but here we are again, more of void having the same rhetoric, being scared of being called out and pulling the SAME STUNTS: thinking that we’re not going to retaliate against them.

but nah it’s not happening against that. either way: their mom aint no acholoic, they stole that from the kids they hang around. they treat their mom like crap, they masturbate on calls and fake moan on calls cause they’re gross little shits. this shit has been recorded but unless yall want me to upload this shit, i’m not listening to it again. they’re a gross habitual liar, a fucking thief and a faker.

they pretended to be jewish, poc, poor, and otherwise just so they could have a minority card. ( x ) ( x ) ( x ).

these are all reciepts from people that they wanted to live with, who have sent them money have have purchased places with the intention of getting void into their country to live with them because void convinced them they were POOR & ABUSED. they talk about all this shit but literally as i’ve said in the first callout post, they intiate this shit -- they cry abuse when you don’t date them and they harass when you admit that you’re asexual and too old for them. proof via creepy ass tweets ( x ) ( x ) ( x )

either way, lets not forget their cute little paypal statement, which was said by that time they were still in america. they didn’t show their balance, but they showed they got 100 MORE dollars out of no where ( not from commissions mind you ) and they did nothing ( while in america ) but spend 30 dollars at a time on kinguin limited ( WHICH IS FOR STEAM KEYS AND SHIT, LMFAO WHAT AN IDIOT. ). yall they are trying to play us!!!!

aaah this is funny because the formal charges are about you sexually pressuring someone that kept telling you NO NO NO. And getting 100S OF FUCKING DOLLARS ON CLAIMS OF BEING POOR.

but okay all of this shit is basically void calling themselves out again, like i aint even got time for it. this is my piece about me. theres more shit about you but its not my place to get into it, and you better be glade PERSON A doesn’t want to be bothered with you anymore or like i said, you’d BE FINISHED. ending point: bitch 6 months ago i left you with shreds of your nasty fucking blonde wig, and your naked mole rat looking ass COME BACK with this shit, but here i am again DESTROYING YOU. if you ever try this shit again believe me i just wont be dissecting your pitiful little post but i WILL be dropping that heavy shit nontheless.

anyway if you can take the time please report the page leemtea for slander / abuse / invasion of privacy.

#dishonored 2 #dishonored #outsider #leemte #leemtea #corvo #ours.

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