#anyway. thank u for asking 🫶 i hope this makes a little bit of coherent sense LOL

[yeonjuins]

I read ‘favorite anonnie <3’ and blanked out from happiness ♡︎ AKSKSKSKDK but thank you a lot for that!! It has been a lot smoother ^^ I might not have the most ideal finish but at least I made it to the end 😊 and yes yes thank you thank you, that goes for you too 😤♡︎

Aw I’m sorry ): but yeah it’s like you said, you will get better with time ♡︎ but if you need/want to, do tell someone about what’s making you anxious so it won’t eat away at you or anything ♡︎♡︎

Yes yes exactly!! Like literally I would make it a mission to top what I did before and I think that’s why I’m so like disappointed in myself?? Because I’ve always gotten good grades until recently and it’s like a bit of shock but then I had to talk to myself and tell myself that like it’s okay, it’s not the end of the world (even if it feels like it to me AKAK) because my whole life has been me doing well academically and I don’t know what to do outside of that,, so I guess it’s like an identity crisis?? But I’m learning not equate all of my worth to the grades I get because it’s much more to myself than that <3

But yes we are ♡︎♡︎ we are going to get through this 🫶🏾

Oohh how did it go? Do you have a plan for the new 3D render you’re going to do? Yeah those are a pain, hopefully she doesn’t though. But I’m glad you’re enjoying a much deserved break and spending time with your folks ♡︎ but I get you sometimes you do need time to yourself even if it’s doing nothing AJAJSKS

I am giving a big hug right now ♡︎ we certainly will figure this out,, we just have to ease up on ourselves a little more :)

Ohhh I never though of it like that SKSKS love letters that’s cute ♡︎ penpals yay ♡︎ And no worries!! It takes me an hour or two or sometimes the next day to respond so my response is well thought out as well ♡︎♡︎

(lengthy response!)

HELLO MY LOVE ! i am not so anxious anymore over what was originally bothering me thankfully (": i feel like i've just been inside my head a lot as of late? and not necessarily in a bad way either, i think i've just been reflecting a lot lately (if 'reflecting' is the word we're going to go for...)

i feel like i'm in a constant state of 'needing to get my shit together' (<- i kid you not, the amount of times i've wrote this in my planner is actually baffling). truthfully speaking, after i answered your other ask i was like hm ! what does a good 'rest' day look for me? or a day that leaves me fully content? so i wrote it all down and visualized it, wrote out what i imagine myself doing, wrote down how i think i felt- frankly speaking, it's all achievable in the end. i think the only thing that's getting in the way is that everything i wrote down is a collective of things i feel as though that would make me content (is this making sense? i'm hoping it is).

if i'm able to visualize it in such detail, i'm confident i have felt such emotions and have achieved such things before. but of course, since we are human beings that are greedy, celebrating small achievements and happiness in mundane things doesn't feel enough. tying it all back to 'needing to get my shit together', i feel i've just fallen into the habit of telling myself that and not realizing the amount of shit i do have together. it doesn't feel... enough? in a sense. as a result, i've grown anxious over things i shouldn't be anxious about, overthought on things i shouldn't be overthinking, and doubted myself heavily on things i was once confident in.

(full disclosure: i try to sound as coherent as possible whenever i'm typing out my thoughts trust me i'm like . breaking at the seams if you squinted closely (": also literally my responses to your asks are literally phrased SOOOOOO MUCH BETTER THAN HOW I PHRASE THEM IN MY OWN JOURNAL??????? my god... i am SOOO extremely sorry for dumping so much onto you though it all just flowed out of me the moment i began typing ): if u skimmed over it, that's completely fine mwuah)

anyways, likewise to what i said previously, we'll get through it. i think as time passes, i'm hoping this will become less of my concern and that i'll be able to grow from it and whatnot...

also ! i did well on my last project (": god... the teacher pissed me off so much so i decided to exceed her expectations ! show her that she should not fucking ! underestimate me !! so i ended up doing well and i am happie hehe... as for the other project i'll be working on, i'm planning on scoping out what i'm going to do more tomorrow since i'll be thrown back into school from my very long (but enjoyable!) break ;;

#asks #humming anon #scratches head #i feel like i went on too large of a tangent about my emotions and whatnot i am sorry my love ): #not even sure where this came from ! #i hope it wasn't burdening of the sort or smth ):< #regardless i hope u have been doing well my angel #did u have any more exams coming up? have u been doing well ;0 #aside from my small little crisis over here pls do tell mwuah