#apoptosis is her own beast & u put the two of these together & im just in emotional overload.

[red-dyed-sarumane]

my friend asked me to put together all the ways oumen & apoptosis are connected as songs today & i love those two so naturally ive been on this since i woke up & after really going thru the lyrics Yet Again i think i FINALLY have my answer about tenshi's song right.

so basically we know the nami no ne no motif from aru sekai shoushitsu being present in a song means whoever in the song is still a "person"/still has their free will & gets to continue into the next loop. standard info. in all the other songs this is mixed into the instrumental, the only times its sung are in shoushitsu of course & in oumen mokushiroku. didnt think much of it when the song first came out bc like yeah thats just whats in series songs. but more & more across various songs, shoushitsu, apoptosis, kanon, oumen itself it talks about sacrifice & implies that sacrifice was a permanent death. oumen as a whole is her not wanting to accept that sacrifice role, she doesn't have a choice in it, but she doesnt want it either, (& apoptosis being it was originally that girl who was supposed to be the sacrifice but she pushed it off on someone else, therefore is the reason tenshi's song goes the way it does in the first place)

so then why does she have the motif if everything else including her herself say that she dies permanently.

i propose to u my newest theory.

the whole song is her wishing she had more time, not wanting to do it, she wants to live. so. since she's specifically singing it. im willing to bet its a last wish of hers. that somehow, someway, she still has enough free will to counteract the act of sacrifice, if she wishes hard enough, if she holds enough of her own desires, then maybe against everything, she'll get to live on into the next loop. basically, not a sign that she Does live, rather, just that she desperately WANTS to

#aru sekai series #no joke ive been tearin up over her all day why is her song so painful #SHE DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG. WHY. WHY DID IT HAPPEN LIKE THIS. WHY #<- literally the end of apoptosis #apoptosis just looooves to cause problems until the one person she refuses to admit she cares about get caught in it #apoptosis is her own beast & u put the two of these together & im just in emotional overload. #apoptosis lying & saying shes in it for the other when shes just thinking of herself #until the other gets taken away from her without a chance to even say anything about it #& she just cant handle that #& u have tenshi who wants nothing more than to make it out alive with her taking her place & dying & in the end it changes nothing #im so fucking upset she wanted to LIVE she tried to lie to herself & say at least it might absolve everyones sins of carrying out this #project & it doesnt do a damn thing #she was SCARED she DIDNT want this she just desperately wants to live & see the other again & THEY KILLED HER...... #honestly apoptosis is so in the right to have a breakdown over it. its like half her fault but like. a breakdown is #the only correct response i think #kanon feels guilty but she doesnt seem to outwardly show that very much #so like. yeah i would also lose my mind if someone i was close to got killed for no reason & everyone just acted like it was nothing #i feel like im finally starting to come to terms with like labo's & yamete's deaths but god tenshis is just so........... awful.