#as if nahida hasn’t already said hehe

[https-furina]

this isn't like a request but more of a "may i have your thoughts on...?" :3 okay SOOO wanderer, he isn't used to the idea of love and affection right right so whenever reader tells him "i love you" instead of smiling and blushing i feel like it would hurt him (even a bit but wouldn't show it) scara angst.... sobs

omg yza !! giggling LOUDLY HI i came running when i saw this i was cooking dinner ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹

okay but no literally! love isn’t something he’s familiar with, he probably mocks the thought when he sees couples interacting or families in the streets of sumeru city - nahida keeps emphasising the importance of this ‘love’ and how it’s different for everyone but he can’t help but spite it? and she knows it too when he grimaces at her attempts at affection; holding onto one of his lanky fingers when they go for walks, swinging their arms or when she makes flower crowns and places them on a crown of indigo hair.

then he realises that he has nothing but negative connotations to those who were supposed to ‘love’ him. he’s had nothing but betrayal - even if it was not intended by the person (cough, those he loves dying) - from them and perhaps he associates love with betrayal. if they truly loved him, they would have stayed, right? his creator wouldn’t have dropped him like a pin, they wouldn’t have died, he wouldn’t have ended up so cold and heartless at the mere thought of showing emotions just to protect himself.

he knows that he ties love and betrayal together when he first meets the reader, he thinks that if he lefts himself get too close again, they’ll betray him just like everyone else. he puts up his bitter front, gritting his teeth and endlessly trying to shrug the reader off in hopes they’ll get tired and leave him alone.

they’re as persistent as always and even if he doesn’t vocally admit it, he longs for their ‘annoying’ company. subconsciously, he starts to show it in small acts of affection without even trying; cupping his hand on the edge of the table when the reader bends to pick up a dropped pen when they’re visiting him in the house of daena, making sure they don’t knock their head or assisting in carrying bags of groceries for them. for a moment, his association of love to betrayal is a fleeting thought he doesn’t cling to as heavily anymore.

“i love you” stings. it tastes awful on his tongue so he refuses to even utter it but it makes the shallow pits of his body shudder, fingers tightening around whatever is closest to him until his knuckles turn white.

he’d hoped they would have never said it, he’d pushed the thought long back in his mind but he feels so heavy at the idea that he’d fell in love because he expects the reader to betray them. he considers distancing himself but he knows nahida will never let him now - she loves the reader too much. he thinks he was so foolish to let his guard down to the point where it got to this. he’s preparing for a betrayal, wary for the next upcoming days but when everything continues, business as usual, it becomes just another passing thought. <3

#this ended up way longer than i wanted it to !! aaaa but you had me THINKING #like i’m eating and typing and i’m just #૮꒰⸝⸝> ̫ <⸝⸝꒱ა wanderer learning that love doesn’t always end badly #he just needs the reader to be patient but he refuses to say that ever!! #as if nahida hasn’t already said hehe #🐚 > yzashaven #> entry to the opera epiclese ✉️ #https-furina