#auuuauuauauauauurrghhghhhhghhhgh

[jackalhadrurusluvr]

i did lots of laundry today and i am changing my sheets and i would like a little bit of gentleness from the universe

#like ok goddamn. ig ill send in a job application or a few. WHAT DO U WANT FROM ME!!!!!!!! #what they dont tell you is the post-friends-hangout-depression is much worse when you see them like thrice a year #before i wouldve had close friends to spend my time with.... but alas. but im still here and breathing nonetheless so i need the world to #take it easy on me #in my pursuit of opening a can of olives the can opener pinched me hard as hell #and i was only getting olives because my coffee machine decided it doesnt know how to heat water anymore #and i was gonna have tea because i couldnt think of anything else to have and just wanted something sweet #i also cleaned the litterbox and basically i actively existed today #doesnt a man deserve a little treat for that #i even got up at noon #and my dads gf :pensive: is still here #auuuauuauauauauurrghhghhhhghhhgh #its kind of funny that my dad expects me to be bffs with her like dawg even with our closest relatives i am extremely awkward and uncomfy #like ive grown to love my aunt! i still would really rather not be around her for the regular 2 hours of visiting time! #i will not speak to her directly! i will speak very very minimally and it will not be to her. and its been this way all my life #extreme introvert in a family of extreme extroverts moment #anyways. the pain in my body from Going Out is also very very intense #im not much of a headaches man and they really trigger my hypochondria #so having one for the past few days has not been optimal. been doing a lot of laying down #they dont know it is messed up that i get the post-hangout sadness and post-hangout pain that takes me out for days #my friends are moving on in their lives and making progress and looking towards the future :( #i am so happy for them. but also what the hell am i doing #i have to pee. i really dont wanna get up. uuurgrghrgrhh.. i ate all my olives. they were good #20yrs on this hell of an earth with absolutely no purpose nor direction but at least there is black olives