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#bad Bc it means my level of tolerance for bullshit is much higher than a normal person’s
orcelito · 4 years
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It’s not a bad thing to trust and to forgive. I shouldn’t feel bad for those being such a central part of who I am. I just have to hope I’ll have more luck in the future.
#speculation nation#honestly I feel like I’m the most forgiving person I know#which is both a good and a bad thing#good in that my compassion allows me to reach out to people and make connections I might otherwise miss#bad Bc it means my level of tolerance for bullshit is much higher than a normal person’s#which has definitely bitten me in the ass Hard before. multiple times.#this compassion has hurt me. but it’s allowed me to keep certain people in my life. so I can’t truly complain#as for the trust issue... yeah. I feel like I’m going to have more problems with that in the future.#you can trust someone so completely. trust their words. believe they’ll follow through.#and then they’ll betray that trust. and there’s nothing you can do about it#I think this past instance was a hard hit for that.#even with all the times I gave forgiveness. all the times I gave compassion. it meant nothing#usurped by the frustration of my flaws.#I know I’m not a bad person. I know I have good qualities.#but it’s hard to feel desirable when my flaws have led to the ends of both true relationships I’ve had#that’s an emotional injury I’m just going to have to carry. alongside my broken trust.#in the end I just need to continue to work on bettering myself. just like always.#and I will stay true to my convictions. I refuse to ever fall to the same things that people have done to me#I may not be able to stop people from cheating on me. but I sure as hell can make sure I never do it to anyone else#and there’s some satisfaction in that. satisfaction I won’t hurt anyone like that.#I won’t be what other people have been to me. that is my conviction.
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alisuhs · 6 years
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ALISA SAVAGE is an ORDER MEMBER in the war, even though HER official job is as HEAD OF THE AUROR OFFICE. the THIRTY-ONE year old PUREBLOOD is known to be ENTERPRISING and VIVACIOUS but also DOGMATIC and NEUROTIC. some might label them as THE LADY OF WAR. fc: inbar lavi
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so this is alisa savage, aka That One Obscure Auror Tonks Offhandedly Mentions in One of the HP Books (trademark pending)
pinterest boi
character inspiration: leia organa, hayes morrison, lexi branson, natasha romanoff, peggy carter, sara lance, jessica pearson, bobbi morse.
aesthetic.
high heels clicking on hardwood, the smell of fresh - brewed coffee, spilled wine, redacted information, smudged ink on parchment, the pop f i z z clink of champagne, quills scratching across paper, the satisfaction of reaching justice, lipstick stains on glasses, snakeskin and lace, the feeling you get when you step too close to a fire. messy blonde hair framing features that were once beautiful, but are now just tired. sharp whiskey and silent grief. honey eyes and tattooed wings beating against your shoulder, begging to be uncaged. 
family ties.
ezra savage --- american ambassador, soon to be retiring. generally a playful, fun man, very personable and agreeable. it’s what made him such a good diplomat and father. he was a thunderbird when attending ilvermorny, where he met his wife.
hara savage --- former wampus!!! tiny and fighty and very very loving. a huuuuge spitfire. currently back in the states to help her sick mother.
damaris savage --- baby sis!!! was honestly the sweetest, most fun young girl. big dreams and even bigger imagination. she was a 22, a junior healer --- one of the ones who were killed during the siege, actually. surprise!!!!!!
childhood.
ALRIGHT SO the savages are actually an american pureblooded family!! though blood status typically didn’t matter as much in the states as did the way ezra made his way up to earning the title of AMBASSADOR. diplomat. emissary. whatever ya wanna call it!! 
though the savages were also a later branch of the highly regarded ROCHE family, of the original twelve aurors, due to one of the women in the family marrying a savage.
alisa was born in 1949 america, which with all things considered, really wasn’t that long after the ordeal with grindelwald. but it was also 1949 in the united states, so the red scare was going strong when she was born, which was an entirely different sort of witch hunt than the one her wizarding community grew to know
with the red scare as a guise, there were some lingering anti-wizard people who used it as an excuse to go after wizards. again. but this time by saying they were communist spies!!!
she grew up in a wizarding world that wasn’t AS sheltered and concealed since the disbandment of the new salem philanthropic society just over two decades before. 
the savages are spread all across the united states wizarding world, but this particular branch of them was fairly small and tight knit and centered right outside of new york city. much of alisa’s first eight years was spent bouncing back and forth between their home in new rochelle and the city.
after working as a translator for years, and growing from there, ezra finally reached a point where macusa and the president announced him to be their consul for the united kingdom’s wizarding world. this was v exciting for the family!!
so when she was nine, not long before she would have started her education at ilvermorny, the savages relocated to LONDON. fun!!! (sort of)
living on the wizarding world’s equivalent of embassy row and getting to witness this level of the government working was fascinating. her life from then on took the form of galas and exploring london with her mom (and eventually newborn sister, who was ten years younger than her) and mother and sitting in on some debates and discussions regarding foreign policies between the different countries.
a lot of political shit, but it also really shaped alisa?? it made her very interested in the mechanics of the government, and exposed her to how things WORKED. both in the ministry and macusa. it also displayed both groups’ PROBLEMS to her.
when she was 11 she was shipped off to hogwarts!!! 
her parents didn’t want her on a different continent while they were still working in england, so after some discussion with headmaster dumbledore, she was brought on board
sorted into slytherin!!! her personality was essentially highlighted in slytherin, where her fire and drive and goals were celebrated, though her american background did receive its own criticisms. for the most part, hogwarts were some of the best years of her life --- she was a member of too many clubs to keep track, a keeper for the slytherin team, a top student, and incredibly social w/in her peers. sure she could be a bit.......biting sometimes, but overall she was v sociable.
then to now.
so after graduating from hogwarts, she went straight into the auror academy!!! though she was good at playing the social realms of politics, it was never quite as much her speed as what the aurors did. even back in the states she had practically idolized the men and women with these jobs, so it was no question what she wanted to do.
a very ambitious and determined woman, she fought and worked her way higher and higher up through the department as years passed. there was always that unspoken struggle of being a woman in a male-dominated field. but she was damn good at her job!!!! sometimes a bit of an annoyance to her peers when she would fight back on some decisions made on cases, but it’s bc she has a fucking backbone boiiii
so as she went from junior auror to senior and everywhere in between, she gathered respect. enough of a reputation as well, to be promoted to head of the auror office in january of 1980 at age 31. she is the third woman to hold the position and ALMOST the youngest, but not quite
she’s a workaholic so since her promotion you can catch her at the ministry even MORE these days
she loves her job though, and is v v committed to getting things done through the right means. off the clock she’ll do anything to get the job done, but when at work she’s v big on ensuring everyone follows rules and protocol when it comes to cases. she doesn’t need shit being thrown out the window bc someone didn’t go through the right channels or was a dumbass and did something out of line. they’re going to do it the right way dammit!!!!
oh okay right and the ORDER i need to talk about that
so basically she joined near the start of the war?? she was around 22/23 and a v fiery, excitable new auror who had a tendency to push her luck and speak impulsively when she shouldn’t have. but it was enough to get the attention of dumbledore and his small order at the time, so she was RECRUITED
sort of a spy but also not really
more does a lot of the strategy work, social warfare, my local ootp mom
helps organize missions n shit
personality.
LOOK I K N O W I SAID SHE WAS GONNA BE A KNOCK-OFF AMELIA BUT
she actually ended up being fairly different??? or i at least highlighted different traits than i usually did with mia
a detail-oriented big picture thinker. used to act more impulsively, but at this age she’s more likely to step back and take everything in before making decisions or calls and it’s what makes her a good leader, but also can be what makes her seem COLD
low tolerance 4 bullshit
quick tongued
warm hearted, ultimately
ready to do what it takes for the cause, but she also has a particular moral code that she won’t typically break
somewhere within the lawful good and lawful neutral spectrum ???
p aggressive!!! like she’s 300 pounds of fight me in a 140lb body, but also aggressive in a different sense? like she’s willing to step forward and do or say the things some might not, also ready to push and push and push until someone breaks
like she’s a potty-mouthed ball of rage from 1940s new york, come on
can be a lil dramatic :/
optimistic, but not naive??? like how leia had 100% in the rebellion but she also wasn’t fuckin stupid
i could get into this more but u know what, i’m still learning her myself
fun facts.
u think she has coffee.......but in reality, it’s coffee AND whiskey
gets into aggressive debates about quidditch
always wearing heels, like it’s a bad day if she’s NOT
always has her nails done, it’s v extra
“what do u prefer, men or women” “i have a preference for justice”
has a black cat that she would probably die for
would also probably die 4 u reading this but anywhomst
loves greek mythos and literature in general
but esp greek mythos
pretty n tired, probably hasn’t gotten a full night’s sleep since 1972
OH AND FORGOT 2 MENTION THIS FARTHER UP BUT she’s been more.......volatile since the murder of her sister during the siege. v Not Happy. sara lance when laurel was killed? it alisa.
anyway i want 2 add more and learn her more bc i’m EXCITED and on a ROLL and those character parallels up there are giving me SO MUCH INSPIRATION but i have 2 work 11-9 today and it’s 10:30 so gotta blast
come plot w me thank
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