#bc its like: draw! but i cant draw until i finsih these things i have to write and i have to look up some stuff and do some research

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#somewhere halfway across the country my parents r at a Halloween party #and im laying here wracked with guilt bc im very tried and wasting time by not doing anything #bc its like: draw! but i cant draw until i finsih these things i have to write and i have to look up some stuff and do some research #so i cant draw bc i have things to do. but im too tired to do things. so i should just go to sleep at like 8pm lol #but my brain hates that idea bc no sleep. we cannot sleep. sleep is a waste of time #so ill just lay here too paralyzed to do anything. at least im kinda sore from yesterday so it actually feels nice to lay down #sigh... the exhausting ordeals of exostance #and im like if i were doing something like being at a Halloween party i wouldnt b so stress abt not doing something bc id b like making #memories and not just adding to the blur of days i dont remember bc theyre basically identical. tired. tired #this is truely my burnout phase. im all washed up at 25. nothings interesting enough to hold my attention #i just want to draw and draw and draw all day everyday. draw until my hand hurts. that's what i want to do #but i cant bc there r things that need to be done and i should just sleep so i can go to the store tomorrow #sigh. stupid irrational brain. stop it. #whatever. sorry im v chatty when i dont sleep. im just like fuck it everyone gets to hear my thoughts bc i dont care #blah. tomorrow. tomorrow i will do things. i say again like i do everyday #and everyday my attention avaids focus #but maybe. maybe. maybe #unrelated