#because it’s not just the Dany antis that are making this fandom venomous

[dragondream-ing]

I think the people that screech “ASOIAF isn’t Disney/a fairytale” are up there with Dany antis. First of all, they say it to insult other fans, to signal that those fans are unrealistic. It’s reductive, it’s disingenuous, and it’s not even true—I haven’t seen a single take seriously claiming GRRM is writing a pure sugar-sweet story. I don’t know anyone who even WANTS that.

It’s worse because most of these “critics” think ASOIAF is grimdark or a tragedy or something along those lines. They think bittersweet means bitter. And they don’t seem to realize the original versions of the fairytales they hate so much are far closer to grimdark than ASOIAF will ever be lmao

GRRM isn’t some nihilist, and he’s not into tragedy porn. He never has been. He’s actually quite a romantic, even if his romances don’t end with “and they lived happily ever after without ever experiencing a single problem again.” He loves aspirational characters, and not because he wants them to fail. Actions having consequences in his stories isn’t the same as “it’s not worth trying, everything is terrible and nothing will ever be better.”

Here’s an actual example of bittersweet for the hidden prince trope, and it’s •definitely• not loosely based on a very obvious character in ASOIAF:

The enemy is defeated, but the prince loses his sword arm during the battle. Known for his prowess with a blade, he will have to endure living without such a defining aspect of himself for the rest of his life. He may be relieved he has an excuse not to take up arms again, or perhaps he’ll dedicate himself to learning to fight with his non-dominant arm, but he’ll never be the same as he once was.

The prince is devastated by a greater loss; when he lost his arm during the battle, his closest companion sacrificed themself to protect him. He will have to live without their steadying presence and spend many days finding himself unworthy of such a sacrifice. His loved ones will remind him his closest companion would want him to accept the gift and live happily. He’ll know this is true and will try, but he’ll only succeed on some days and fail on the rest.

The prince goes on to rule the kingdom with his queen, but they’re going to have to rebuild a world shattered by war and deal with the trauma of their experiences for the rest of their lives. Not all is lost, however: they have each other to lean on, being two people that understand each others’ suffering and struggles and love each other more deeply because of it. They also have the hope that their children and the generations to follow will live in a better world thanks to their sacrifices.

The end 🥲

When I think of bittersweet, I think of my grandpa. In his mother country, he grew up too poor to own shoes, then went on to be a shoemaker. He joined the military and was kind of a big deal in his impoverished village, but he left because the government was corrupt and he feared for his family’s safety in the long term. He lived his life in America being derided and underestimated, working menial jobs doing the dirty work many people never think about or value, saving every cent he could, and fighting tooth and nail to ensure his kids and grandkids lived in more security than he ever did. He lived across the world from his beloved siblings, never saw them again, and outlived them all. He retired as a janitor and died in the home he loved with his grandkids and wife beside him.

I’m proud to be his granddaughter. He lived an extremely hard life and struggled more than I can comprehend. And I can’t comprehend it because he made sure I wouldn’t have to. He’s the definition of planting trees under whose shade you’ll never sit. THAT is bittersweet. Bittersweet is poignant and painful and beautiful, joyful and tragic and compelling. It is not on the same thematic plane as House of 1000 Corpses.

I’ll say this in conclusion. If you’re running around insulting people with “ASOIAF isn’t Disney,” let me tell you, even Disney is closer to bittersweet than your nihilistic depressing takes will ever be. If you think Snow White can’t be a bittersweet tale, you’re disingenuous. She suffered tremendously (bitter) but never lost hope and was able to find love (sweet). Extend the ending and make it a bit more “realistic” by including some of Snow White’s and the Prince’s struggles and losses, and it would be a perfect example of a bittersweet tale.

#just venting my thoughts #because it’s not just the Dany antis that are making this fandom venomous #ASOIAF isn’t grimdark #does anyone know what bittersweet is anymore? #some people just love to be miserable and want everyone else and all the characters to be too I swear