#because to quote monty python ''we're all individuals''

[gottagobackintime]

I've seen some people say: “Trent shouldn’t have been gay, he should have just supported Colin anyway.” And it's such a weird (and bad) take.

Had Trent been straight we wouldn’t have gotten the scenes we did. Colin could have opened up and told Trent how he felt, but Trent wouldn’t have understood, he could have been supportive. But he wouldn’t understand where Colin is coming from. But because Trent is also gay he knows what it’s like being in the closet, living with fear and dread. Living with thoughts like “if I tell the people I love about my sexuality, will they hate me?”. You can’t get that from a straight ally, no matter how supportive and well meaning they are. Because they don't know what it's like. We need straight allies, we need all the straight allies we can get. But what Colin needs RIGHT NOW is someone who, while not a professional athlete, is involved in the world of football. Knows about homophobic fans, knows that there are a culture of toxic masculinity and homophobia in the clubs. That is why it’s important that Trent himself is gay.

Colin almost got runover by a cyclist in his desperate attempt to run away from Trent at the gay bar. But the relief when he understands what Trent is saying "I must have a good reason for that, mustn't I?" is so clear. Trent is also queer, Trent is safe, I can let Trent in.

And I think some people might read that line as "I haven't outed you because I'm gay too, but if I had been straight I would have" which isn't what Trent means, Trent is using that phrase to be subtle, to let Colin come to his own conclusion, because Colin is stressed out, he's scared. By letting Colin think for himself it gives Colin an opportunity to calm down (which is also why Trent holds his hands out as if calming a frightened animal, he also makes himself slightly smaller by bending his knees and leaning forward slightly). And he does, he realises what Trent is saying and he calms down. It's also an added layer of security it's not just, "I haven't outed you" it's "I haven't outed you because I am also queer". A straight person saying that they haven't outed you doesn't hold as much weight as a queer person saying it. Because you know that the queer person knows how important it is to be safe and to come out on your own terms wheras a straight person, especially an eager well meaning ally might try and encourage you to come out because "hey, it's gonna be fine", even when that's not the support you need at the moment (there are ofc exceptions, both when it comes to straight people and queer people).

But because Trent is also gay, Colin now has someone in his corner at work, who knows him, knows his secret. Who also carried that secret himself once. We’ll most likely get straight allies in the other players and the leaders at Richmond.

So no, Trent shouldn’t have been straight. Because that is not the support Colin needed at that moment. He needed queer solidarity.

#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #colin hughes #trent crimm #I saw someone on reddit saying that this whole thing with colin being scared of coming out was a bad storyline in 2023 #because it's not a big deal #and I was baffled #thankfully some people called them out on that #because colin just wants to live his life #he says he doesn't want to be a spokesperson but that's what he'll become if he comes out whether he wants to or not #because he'll always be the first active gay premier league player #and it's also arrogant to say that it's accepted to be queer in 2023 so it's not a big deal #when queer and trans people are stripped of their rights and their right to express themselves in the US for example #and queer and trans people are killed all over the world simply because of their sexuality and/or gender identity #and even if you live in a fairly accepting country like I do for example #it's still the fear that YOUR OWN family and friends will reject you #because to quote monty python ''we're all individuals'' #it doesn't matter how accepting society at large is because society are made up of individuals who has their own beliefs #so no the world isn't as accepting as people are led to believe and that's what I mean when I talk about straight people #no matter how well-meaning they are they will have a hard time understanding #nicole watches stuff