#beelio talks

[beesinspades]

I love how fire is olly's magic type of predilection, and fire is considered defense and attack magic, but he mainly uses it to create artifacts that provide light and warmth and comfort 🥹

#wha #tbna #witch hat atelier #im rereading (in french) and UUGHHHH olly i missed you..... #beelio talks

[beesinspades]

took the boys to a con today :3 I didn't see any other trigun cosplayer but I was stopped a lot for pictures or questions and heard a bunch of "everyone's got their own cross to bear huh" 😂 anyways my arm hurts but I had a good time~

#beelio talks #shoutout to that one elderly lady who asked me what kind of media my cosplay was from #and then went 'you're really carrying your own cross!' and then asked what the manga was called exactly #spreading the trigun words to 65+yo hell yeah #also to those kids who ran up to me specifically to go 'siiiir do you know if there's going to be a show here?' hey kids what if I cry #and the couple of people who looked so happy to see a trigun cosplay sdfjkln #one of them might as well have been vibrating it was very sweet #and several people were concerned about whether my punisher was heavy or not bahaha #that cosplay gets sooo much attention even from people who dont know trigun #theyre just so curious and/or impressed by the big ass cross

[beesinspades]

not me getting teary-eyed over my character coming to life through art,,,,,simping hard right now 🥹

#like wow!!! I made that guy!!!! from my little head to paper!! and other artists draw him!!! and it's like he becomes even more real!!!! #and then it makes me want to draw him/write about him!!! creativity sparks creativity and it's beautiful!!! #beelio talks

[beesinspades]

where is my creechur vash getting booped art it's not a want it's a need

#trigun #beelio talks #could attempt to do it myself but #creechur vash deserves quality boops

[beesinspades]

absolutely hysterical moment when cloud was starting to drown and my dad went "does he need a prince charming to come save him or what" and I kid you not the next fucking second sephiroth showed up to do just that

#ff7 rebirth #ff7 #ffvii rebirth #ff7r spoilers #the timing was just incredible ill never get over it #cross posting because it was too funny 😭😭 #i have never played the og btw so i had no idea that would happen sgdjkln #beelio talks

[beesinspades]

I'm 3 months and 2 weeks on T now and I'm sooooo happy with it :D the first two months and then some were SLOW, so much so if it wasn't for one thing and the (temporary) side effects of the hormonal mess, I would've thought it wasn't working lol

but over the past month I've started really seeing changes!!

my voice started dropping, I can hear a difference with my voice pre-t!

I'm already growing facial hair on my neck and chin. at this rate I'll hopefully be one of the lucky ones with something decent before the end of my first year on T hehe

my belly is getting hairier

I think my face shape has started to change but that's harder to tell

so yeah I'm really happy because so far I'm getting nice changes and I haven't been plagued with being hungry, hot and horny. no mood changes either or anything. I don't feel any different from before T besides feeling more confident in my appearance. and I still have some palpitations when I lie down to go to bed in the evening and still in bed in the morning but I saw a cardiologist with echography and EKG and I'm good so it's likely the hormones. it was much worse before my third shot when we increased the dose.

also I don't know if it's related but before T I would get really nauseous (at the base of the neck rather than the stomach, idk how to explain it) at least once every three weeks or so, most of the time when I woke up in the morning and then it went away once I got up and went about my day. a week or so after I started T it got worse as in it started happening more frequently, at night too, and sometimes lasted throughout the day. then towards the end of the sixth week, before my third shot, it got so bad for like five days I thought I was gonna die hahaha but same as the palpitations improving, we did the third shot at full dose instead of half and the nausea disappeared. I haven't had a single instance of it since. so?¿?¿??? (both these things were already there before but probably made worse by a medication I started taking a little after going on T though. I stopped taking it as well)

I'm a liiittle anxious because "oh my god what if I'm doing a mistake" but I'm really looking forward to the next few months!!!

anyways, I did two shots by myself so far, the first one went perfectly well and the second one I felt like passing out but it was likely because I did it in the morning right out of my hot shower sjdkln I lied down for 20 minutes and then felt fine again.

also I got the results of my check-up blood test yesterday and my T levels have very nicely increased (I'm at like 55) and everything else is normal :3

but also WELP because besides my sister my family doesn't know. my mother hasn't called me in a month so odds that she'll notice something next time she calls me are not nonexistent and it's Not going to go well and I'm wholly unprepared for that conversation

next week I'm having lunch with my godmother whom I last saw on the day I started T, so that should be interesting too....she's always been supportive and nonjudgmental (to my face at least hahaha) but also given that she believes in the woke agenda I have no idea if HRT is going too far for her. wait and see :')

as for my dad, I'm frankly starting to wonder if he's just pretending not to have noticed anything. the voice I can get because he talks to me everyday so without a direct comparison it's not impossible that he hasn't noticed. but the facial hair??? I have way more than before and it's surprising he hasn't commented on it. anyway. either way the moment my mother knows he's probably gonna be made aware too.

anyway. excitement but also Fear

#beelio talks #also got a 24h EKG planned this month to be 100% sure but the cardiologist wasn't concerned at all #whoops this got long sorry

[beesinspades]

I think. I'm really made more for short fics and one-shots than long fics 🥲

#beelio talks #my long fic / longish one-shot writing has also been most of the time really average these past few months and I just </3

[beesinspades]

just signed up for the vashwood reverse bang.....join me 👀

#vashwood #trigun #beelio talks #they don't have a tumblr so. spreading the word!!! #signed up as a writer of course #but as a beta as well this time around

[beesinspades]

DAY ONE ON T BABYYYYY

#beelio talks #i thought i'd freak out afterwards because anxiety but actually i just felt happy lol #HOWEVER #I felt squeamish as hell watching the injection im dreading having to do it myself #but that's three months from now so. got time to do some exposure therapy :') #also got my flu shot for the first time ever so the next couple of days are going to be interesting

[beesinspades]

no fear

[ace trigun week flops]

one fear

#i know there's interest and people have made ace trigun stuff for international ace day without being prompted before #and it was amazing to see #but that was at the peak of the fandom and now a lot of people have moved on while waiting for s2 so ssdjkn #i just saw a trigun-themed week get almost no submissions and i'm sure it would've had way more earlier last year so now i'm sweating #anyways even if there aren't a lot of us we'll have a good time!!! #i finished my two drawings and one fic :3 #and i'll get my second fic done or so help me!! #maybe even a third too!!! #beelio talks

[beesinspades]

@ the anon who recommended me "I think our son is gay"....I got the first three volumes secondhand and loved them!! so thank you for the rec! :3 it's so lovely and wholesome 🥹 I don't know when I'll get the next two but I will eventually 🙏

#beelio talks #the ace character is way more aro than ace but that was to be expected sdfjkln #he's too young to bring up the ace part of aroace though so that checks out #but man....alloromantic ace character in a manga WHEN

[beesinspades]

god I want a dyson vacuum cleaner

#beelio talks #is this what nearing 30 is like #my catsitting place has an old one #and man #i get it i really do

[beesinspades]

I'm sorry to all creechur fic readers....I will come back to it eventually.....I hate leaving something unfinished even if I'm unhappy with some of the previous chapters so I'll Get There it might just. take a long time. idk. I'm sorry ;a;

#beelio talks #creechur fic #hoping the vwrb saves me from writer's block

[beesinspades]

ff7r gaming is going great sdfjkln

#beelio talks

[beesinspades]

oh to cosplay wolfwood and get confettied

#beelio talks #they did this last time too and i just never know whether to laugh or cry #my woowoo feelings....

[beesinspades]

I'm gonna apply for the trigun cookbook zine but aahhh it's always so hard to pick what to submit.....

#beelio talks #i need to reread my own stuff which is scary