#briefly talked about it with a coworker today bc i mentioned my brother makes music

[readymades2002]

something difficult about writing/storytelling but only in short disconnected bursts is that writing anything longform is very difficult. there isn't as much time to practice long-term character development or subtlety (implying character instead of immediately clarifying) when its not really meant to go anywhere but a notes app. its a little frustrating...i'd love to do something more longform though. i've considered maybe just doing some short writing scenes in my various original universes a lot recently mostly because i just havent had time to draw anything fancy recently </3 maybe that would be something...

#briefly talked about it with a coworker today bc i mentioned my brother makes music #and she got excited because she paints and she showed me some of her work (beautiful btw!!!) #and said she hopes he pursues music and doesnt get his heart crushed by retail like we do #we still make things but ive been thinking about it...it really is like #i feel like ive had less TIME to make things but ive also developed more interest in my own ideas #and in constructing them on their own terms. its hard to describe and even harder to share because its #not churning out fanart for a response i guess? #i dont know. i do feel more satisfied with what im planning but theres less to share #anyway i promised her i'd show her my art sometime so essentially i have to flee the country now #she does lovely work she paints pictures of pets and it seems so nice. she seems so happy with it! #its like...i love it. im a little jealous of it. i feel so much pressure to Do Something New with my art #try to craft scenes and settings (i think setting is such ann important part of storytelling but i have so much trouble drawing it!) #and try new compositions and poses and just not have everything look the same all the time #its led to a lot of work im proud of but its also hard to create under those expectations... #i wish i could find a niche and settle into it comfortably. i think fun character drawings could be that for me #but its...it frustrates me to post those because it feels like if its easy and i like doing it and how it turns out then im not trying #okay i think im done now. sorry for these rambling introspective posts lately lol im #trying to warm back up to posting so i can use this website again (despite how very very bad it is)... #i want to see my frieeeeeends <//////3 i want to be here without running away <///3