#btw with the HE and thrid person: yes I mean God :)

[attadale]

Spiritually burnt out reader + sweet caring John :( <3

Spoiler for the chosen2, fem!reader, worried John, maybe not canonically accurate (??), def should count my writing as a warning💀, english is not my first language, not proofread!!

Note: It is hard (specially as we start to believe and live for Christ) to not have at least one burn out when we (for example) feel like we cannot accomplish God's commandments; making us feel like a dissapointment to him. When he is more than faithful and willing to forgive us ♡

Your flesh is completely dried out in these terms; your spirit willing to fight contrary to a body where you remain, in which you live everyday, with it's great and not so great feelings.

Your spirit so burnt out it manifests through the low energy John watches you walk with, the one you speak with and it's an endless worry to watch your eyebags turn your eyes so dull. To not be able to hug this broken spirit you carry; the load is such that it looks heavy on your back even though this is beyond physical.

The worry threads through his hands when he puts them over your pale skin. He prays with you, unable to not keep eyes open when he is aware yours are closing sadly. You look so softly tired; but actually too tired. Your faith remains in a string and he reminds himself to strengthen it before it's too late. Because it's a scary thought that somehow brings him hope. Because it does mean hope.

You have faith.

“I chopped too many slices,” you look up at him, eyes droopy and heavy. Putting a stop to the previous task.

“It's ok, love, I would eat them all if it's you who cooked.”

You laugh at his loveliness. John would eat food made ashes if it's you who cooked them. If it meant something to his lovely wife; even though you always cleared up how bad your cooking might be.

“John, I never cook. I don't know how to,” you admit childishly, actually lamenting not knowing how to.

He picks up on your dissapointing tone just as soon as he wraps his arm around you, pulling you closer by the hip. It is pleasurable; to know John supports your body, as much as your mind, and your mind as much as your spirit, your center.

You lean even more into him, subconsciously seeking his warmth. You feel how you can't sink further and disappear in him as desperately as you want to. Your head is buried on his chest, and he melts, cheek comically pressing against the crown of your head.

Both of you stay like this for a while. He swings you back and forth and recalls the times you did so. A very sudden heaviness on his heart as he acknowledged how many times you held him like this; when James was gone; Sometimes John wouldn't shower, he wouldn't eat, wouldn't move.

You inhale and exhale exhaustingly, the puff of breath warming John's heart, resting in the depths of his chest. And in the silence comes up the presence of a third among the household; among you and John.

Your breaths take away all recordable sound, and your spirit takes in all non tangible presence. He is here, I am here, this is healing, you think to yourself. You get lost between John and His warmth. Then your mind races back to what you call reason, awakening in a peace that is aware of the issues you need to address, but is faithful; He is faithful.

John is muttering words you then comprehend as praying. Your hands find purchase on his shoulders with your body still trapped in the hug, some circles soothed over the fabric of his tunic with your palms, faintly massaging the skin underneath it.

John smiles relieved, eyes lovely as you state “amen” after the prayer ends.

#the chosen fanfiction #the chosen #the chosen x reader #the chosen john the apostle #john the apostle x reader #big james #the chosen big james #yeah im done #I'll write for the chosen #but for now #only my drabble ideas bc Im scared of not fulfilling #or doing right the requests I might get😭 #btw with the HE and thrid person: yes I mean God :) #idk what this is #I tried yall