#but a common denominator here has definitely been seeing someone come to this crossroads

[gothicprep]

I think the most depressing thing that’s happened in my life over the past couple of months is watching an otherwise intelligent friend descend into paranoia and conspiracy. maybe ex friend now, because I don’t feel all that inclined to talk to him these days, but it’s still sad to be a bystander to this who can’t help even if you try to intervene.

#something I’ve been trying to get better at as I’ve gotten older is trying to avoid situations that #spurn incredibly strong emotions in me that impair my social function. #it’s not fair to the people around me and it’s not fair to me either. i deserve better than treating myself like that #and I’m starting to wonder if how someone answers ‘how willing am I to pull my own pigtails’ is correlative with extreme paranoia #social behavior isn’t really my bag outside of being in the world and observing it yknow #but a common denominator here has definitely been seeing someone come to this crossroads #and just choosing to engage anyway instead of telling themselves ‘I need to remove myself from being… #…so fired up constantly. it’s starting to boil my brain.’ they just can’t quit it. #the best kind of evidence – white hot anecdote #but there’s something about this that does seem functionally similar to addiction. just in how compulsive it is. #is anger addiction possible? I guess that’s the burning question.