#but also maybe its projection bc its not like ppl arent always offput by me for one reason or another

[jvzebel-x]

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#one of my least favourite media tropes is the 'bad person w a heart of gold' character lmao #i think its a kneejerk response to my inherent belief that when someone tells you point blank who they are you should believe them lmao #but also maybe its projection bc its not like ppl arent always offput by me for one reason or another #w/o ever actually getting to know me lmao. #so like maybe i just have chosen to disavow all versions of having a 'deeper' self in favour of spitting on the idea that i should have to #prove myself by disproving anything w a Deeper Level of Self lmao. maybe im actually just exactly what meets the eye. #perhaps i am not only totally fine w that but genuinely prefer it that way lmao. #... that is all hypothetical nonsense rambling however lmao. what is objective fact is the Bad Person w A Heart of Gold trope #has done as much damage as the Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope&i fucking hate them both the exact same amount lmao. #what is also objective fact is that i have now dropped two books in a row bc i refuse to sit thru the plot points of #'im an asshole but pls get to know me its def not fucked up that i take my bullshit out on random ppl like a toddler pls coddle this' #&'no one could ever understand my sad life story that makes me extremely abusive pls fix me' LMAO #ahhh i just need better distraction. between everything going on back home&the unstable weather making my unstable body heave #i have been going rather stir crazy&usually i can get thru like a book a day when things are like this #&starting over twice is Offensive right now LMAO.