#but hes looking for this impossible version of it i think and aough

[phasewashere]

sometimes dutch van der lindes hatred and abject confusion at the hatred and bloodshed in the world gets a little too close to home and i have to sit down a spell

#phase weeps #i mean this in like. a thinking about young dutch van der linde whos on fire body and soul and wants to change the world so badly #how deeply he yearns for a picturesque world with peace and happiness and this eternal freedom #where hes perfectly and uniquely happy #and some of this is possible #but he will never be perfectly happy or satisfied or escape suffering in its entirety and he cannot just defeat the powers that be through #running away from them and every time he has to come to terms with that he turns tail and runs #he gets angry and spiteful and lashes out at anyone who refuses to believe in his dream which cannot be real #hes a man who is capable of great love and kindness and such a good ideal #but hes looking for this impossible version of it i think and aough #hits very close to home