#but lbr fourteen was so weary and he NEEDED the staying and the being and the processing

[absentlyabbie]

how could you possibly not instantly adore fifteen? when he is ncuti gatwa especially??? he is gorgeous and darling and marvelous and fresh and i've had him for like fifteen minutes and he already feels so much more even. he left a lot of the jagged edges in fourteen/ten, who desperately Needs to actively smooth them out, and as a result he gets to be... more wisely, knowingly empathetic, i think. steadier and readier to move forward by true choice.

he's seen shit and felt it and lost it and he's changed and changed and changed and left all and none of it behind and now it's just... he's embraced it. fifteen feels like a doctor who has looked himself frankly in the mirror and accepted the whole thing with a firm and resolute nod with a followup of a vivid, excited grin. at last a doctor not running running running forever away, but striding and sprinting and strolling toward.

and perhaps he could do it only because the last him finally made the bargain of stop and stay. he's the catalyst and the healing all in one. they both are. the mutual point from which they diverge in dually needed directions.

i haven't watched doctor who in years and years, frankly, but for him? i'm so delighted to see where he goes and the revived, more solid joy he goes there with.

#one COULD argue fifteen left the heaviest baggage that could no longer simply be carried behind with fourteen #but sometimes you need to #and because he did he sort of speedran the recovery process by coming After #but lbr fourteen was so weary and he NEEDED the staying and the being and the processing #and also still needed to know he was moving onward and forward and COULD recover #the hope of seeing fifteen DO that told fourteen it could BE done and made it possible in the first place #ahhhh good stuff