#but making someone question their perception of the tranquil would be a favorable outcome and also even when in severely

[iamthescalesofjustice]

do not have the focus rn to write the whole post in a satisfying way, but know that if i was in dragon age they would try to put me in a circle and make me tranquil, bc of my Symptoms and Behaviors. but that making me tranquil would not work out the way they want, bc 

1) it wouldnt even do that much about my symptoms and behaviors, bc many of them have little to nothing to do with emotions

1b) it wouldnt even severely impede me, bc i have decades of experience functioning through extreme depressive episodes, dissociative states, executive functioning problems, etc and i have been in extremely bad and toxic and punishing environments without chance of escape before and if it didnt make me compromise my principles then, neither would the tower

1c) if anything, and i am speaking from experience with my own altered states here, being unable to feel shame or fear or sorrow, would consequently dramatically reduce my capacity for things like hesitation and doubt, which are fueled partially by emotions but which are not quite emotions themselves. this would actually reduce my impulse control a lot, with only stuff like the fact that anger and annoyance and restlessness and excitement and giddiness and bloodlust not being there either to help balance it out. 

2) the fact that ‘everyone knows’ the tranquil are ‘incapable of using magic’ and ‘basically just soulless automatons’ would be possibly the most effective shield ever. their own brainrot from their own ingrained propaganda would make them blind to my schemes

2b) see the fact that people commonly think the tranquil cannot feel pain despite being outright told, by tranquil, that they can

2c) or the fact that mages can be made tranquil for using, or being suspected of  using, blood magic. obviously some of these mages get killed rather than made tranquil, but mages can and do get killed over anything and everything regardless of the reason. if it was commonly realized that tranquil mages can use blood magic, it wouldnt be used in these cases and they would all be killed instead. 

2cii) yes, tranquil mages can use blood magic. this should be obvious to anyone who thinks about it for a second, but apparently its not. 

2ciib) tranquil can also use runes btw. obviously. if those needed a connection to the fade to use then dwarves would not have invented them or be able to use them. 

2ciic) i also think dwarves could probably use blood magic if they had the chance to learn. possibly there is a subsection of the dwarven population that would be equivalent to mages, and they could do it but not the others, but nobody knows exactly because this kind of stuff just isnt being explored yet. 

2ciid) i also think that across all species ability to use magic is more of a spectrum than a solid yes/no and there probably a lot of people whose capacity for magic falls below the flashier threshold of what most of southern thedas seems to think of as ‘mage’ or manifests in a different way. this includes the people who get approved to become templars because there apparently is some kind of innate trait they look for in the people they are willing to train to use templar abilities, which are definitely a form of magic. 

2d) aside from the sheer stigma, the biggest practical downside of blood magic is that it can dampen the casters connection to the fade, making their ability to use the normal sort of magic weaker or less reliable. for someone whose connection to the fade is already shut down, this is a nonissue. 

2dii) the second biggest issue with blood magic is the need to draw on a source, typically either the caster themself or other living beings. personally, i dont think theres any real ethical problem with using yourself for blood magic, and the problem of using others is far less pressing when you have, say, a bunch of templars around to drain instead. 

3) they literally have books you can learn blood magic from without ever needing to talk to a denizen of the fade. the tower top brass put those books in their own fucking library. as a plant to get unwary mages. 

3b) i am excellent at learning from books. 

3c) if pressed about why i am reading a book about blood magic, i can answer that theres no reason for me not to. now that i ‘cant use magic’, theres no danger in me learning the theory. knowledge is valuable for its own sake. 

3cii) this has the benefit of being mostly true, even. and not feeling smugness or excitement or anger means i would be more easily able to say things with a straight face and not have roiling emotions give me away. 

4) if i were a tranquil who could do blood magic and i saw a templar menacing a mage in an otherwise-empty corner of a tower i would puppet that asshole over to the stairs and make them trip themself down it so their death looked like an accident

4b) and then when the mage looked at me like something other than a piece of creepy walking furniture for the first time in maybe years i would simply say “youre welcome. also, neither of us were here, and no one will ever believe you” and calmly walk away

#this last part would admittedly be an asshole move #but making someone question their perception of the tranquil would be a favorable outcome and also even when in severely #apathetic/depressed/dissociated states getting reactions from people remains relatively high on my priority list i know this about myself #what is my endgame here? bide my time learning blood magic and doing what i can to take it down from the inside until the day comes #that either the circle is rocked by rebellion or i think i am actually going to be killed or a large enough group of non-templar circle #denizens is going to be killed or otherwise made to suffer in a way exceptional even for circle standards at which point i will unleash the #absolute most havoc and destruction i can upon the templars and the physical boundaries of the tower itself #which if i have been slurping the gurt of every available ounce of suffering and shed blood the tower environment produces (A Lot) to build #power would be probably a pretty decent showing. and then shoo everyone away from the tower and encourage them to find their freedom #i figure eventually possession would be on the table and then afterwards there are numerous ways to stop being possessed if i decided #not to be tranquil anymore by then. putting back on the fetters of negative emotions etc etc #and if at any point any if this fails to work out in a way that turns out to be unrecoverably too much? theres always the ultimate back up #plan which is to alivent but this post is for being flippant and hubristic bc im built different so shhh