#but my brain is still like oh look a depressive epsiode! what if I wandered closer? for a better look?

[imwritesometimes]

the mental trials and tribulations are once again acting up you know how it is

#like idk man I hate this shit. I hate that everything can be pretty standard normal nothing WORSE has happened #but my brain is still like oh look a depressive epsiode! what if I wandered closer? for a better look? #and it takes literally everything I got NOT to go there #and I'm SO TIRED #but because this is all happening like.... internally no one knows no one understands WHY I'm fuckin exhausted ALL THE TIME #like it takes everything I got in me to stay alive and idk how to explain that to anyone. I don't even actually WANT to explain it #I just wish ppl would understand I'm tired and I really DO actually have mental health issues that I've worked on my whole life #the only reason I'm here today is cause I put in thr goddamn work. but it's still work. and it makes me TIRED #and I'm gonna have to do that for the REST of my life. I can't trust my own brain sometimes like that's exhausting. #sometimes it's dumb shit like EVERYONE ON EARTH HATES YOU! like that's impossible! everyone on earth doesn't know me #and sometimes it's worse and awful and there is no point to this I'm just TIRED and I'm tired of #feeling guilty abt being tired because this is all mental so I'm not actually deserving of any slack #which is just more fucked up familial mental illness isn't real bullshit #and they fact that I recognize that is from the WORK and the WORK has kept me alive but also I'm TIRED #but I don't feel like I've earned the right to be tired. which makes me more tired and depressed. #I'm TIRED fuck #erin explains it all