#but no ppl treat it as such a perfect romance and it's like. Divorce be upon ye

[cloudmancy]

delloso de la rue is such an interesting character to me but I don’t think it’s for any of the reasons that the rest of the fandom likes rue for. oscar played them in such a metatextual way and it’s like, does he know? does he know how complicated and selfish and thoroughly flawed character he ended up creating? ruehob is so... fascinating to me and it’s not because I like the romance of it. there’s just such a twisted rotting core to it when you compare it to chirp & her wife, or even binx & andhera (and it’s FANTASTIC. I wish people didn’t shy away from how truly miserable ruehob is because that’s what I’m into)

it's like. you are delloso de la rue. you are an owlbear, under a spell of glamour. you have chosen to serve the court of wonder and at heart, you are a romantic. this year, you are planning what they say will be the very last bloom, and you are drowning in the narrative perfection of it. 

you do not like the court of wonder. you do not like the duty you hold. you do not like that you are in this pretty, lithe form you have chosen for yourself. but here are things you do like: love, romance, and EXCITEMENT. you meet two lords of the wing and you want to bear witness to love matches so badly that you make a wager for it. you want this to be the last, best bloom. you want this so ardently and selfishly that you are willing to fall for the first person you see who will fit this narrative (star crossed monsters in courts that don't accept them, what could be more perfect?) while ignoring everything you already have - because it's not enough for you. 

you say want love but you HAVE love. you say you want acceptance - but you could have that, too. you don't want love, you want the CONCEPT of love - the kind that people read storybooks about, that little owlbears dream of at night. you want romance. you want to be swept off your feet. you don't want acceptance, because acceptance and love is duty and you are beginning to hate the concept of duty. acceptance is (as hard as a knight pledging themselves to a different court for the sake of someone they love) as easy as realizing that of all the forms that the fae can take an owlbear is nowhere NEAR the most monstrous. the queen of air and darkness isn't even corporeal, half the courtiers of hoof and claw are feral beasts - but that realization is not grand enough for you.

you meet hob and you hold his paws in yours and you tell him (with tears in your eyes, so they sparkle better in the moonlight) that you feel - not alone - for the first time in your life (because it's something someone in a sweeping romance would say) and you (forget wuvvy, who followed you from her own court and accepted everything of who you were and repackaged herself smaller, neater, tidier like you, because that's what you wanted in the court of wonder) tell him that no one will ever use him again (while you use him to satisfy that hungry selfish hole in yourself that demands not LOVE but ROMANCE) because you love (what he represents, could represent for the grand romance of the sweeping fairytale you imagine your life could be if only someone loved you) him.

#a court of fey and flowers #delloso de la rue #wuvvy #ruehob #acofaf #sorry I have like. so many feelings about this #and meanwhile chirp and her wife and binx and andhera are like. #they love and it's not beautiful it's not picturesque but it is real and true #like actually I don't hate ruehob I just wish people realized it's uhmmm Fucked up lol #can we all make a pact to get into howfucked up they are like if someone told me they were toxic I'd be into it #but no ppl treat it as such a perfect romance and it's like. Divorce be upon ye #repackaged from a convo I had with fiovske #i looove your wuvvy art

[oceanmonsters]

is Crashing good, would you recommend it? Because I’ve added it to my list on channel 4 but have never got around to watching it. I heard it has gay desi rep in tho?

okay so this is a bit long so I’m adding a cut but tl;dr: it’s a comedy show that is funny but you have to accept that the characters are shitty people who do shitty things. and yeah there’s a brown gay character, Fred, who I absolutely love as a character but whether or not I would call it good rep is debatable and I don’t think their relationship is written in the best way. however at the same time it’s not a romance show, it’s a lighthearted comedy show and it IS funny and I do mostly enjoy it overall.

more detailed summary and Thots under the cut (if you prefer to watch shows not knowing anything about what’s gonna happen then don’t read this because I do talk about the overall plot but I don’t talk about the ending or spoil anything important):

so the show is about a group of friends who live in an abandoned hospital. there are like 3 main relationships/storylines: there’s melody and colin (Colin is a recently divorced depressed guy and Melody is an artist who projects her daddy issues onto him) and there’s the kate/anthony/lulu love triangle (bland shitty guy in a love triangle with his childhood best friend and and current fiancée who who are played by phoebe waller-bridge and louise ford (i.e. james acaster’s ex girlfriend who left him for rowan atkinson which isn’t relevant to this at all but it’s Important To Me That You Know That) respectively.

and THEN there are sam and fred who are imo the main reason for watching the show even though they’re kind of toxic and a little badly written. Sam is bi (although they refuse to ever use the word) but repressed and has a massive amount of internalised homophobia and also has issues because his dad died recently. anyway he starts having feelings for fred (who is gay) but because he has massive amounts of internalised homophobia he’s really shitty about it and whole thing is kind of toxic but also funny because of how much of a Sam is and the lengths he goes to try and convince himself he’s NOT gay while also spending most of the show obsessing about Fred. like it’s problematic but also very funny.

it’s v hard for me because on the one hand I DO think that both Sam and Fred are interesting characters and their relationship is compelling to me, but on the other hand Sam is a massive arsehole to Fred for most of the show and I cannot stand ppl going on about how cute they are and woobifying Sam when the whole point of his character is that he’s repressed and toxic and a shitty person. especially considering fred is brown it rly does not sit right with me how a lot of white fans talk abt their relationship, and I don’t think the show itself treats Fred the best either. I’ve said previously that I would like the show better if they made Sam like 30% less of a dick but actually they don’t even NEED to sanitise Sam’s character because that’s part of what makes him funny, what would actually make the show much better is if they actually gave Fred some fucking agency in the plot, at least at the end and taken some control over their relationship rather than just letting himself get dragged around by Sam and Will like he does for the rest of the show. I have actually rewritten my own version of The Hospital Scene and while it’s not perfect I think if it had gone like that it would have made the whole show much better. like just ONE scene of Fred taking control for once and having their relationship be on his terms would’ve been a much better ending. but anyway.

overall the show IS funny and I did enjoy it. maybe it's just because the gays of colour are fed literal crumbs but I do really love Fred as a character a lot and I think Amit Shah and Jonathon Bailey were both great and made their relationship very enjoyable to watch. but also it does frustrate me a lot because I think there are so many aspects that could’ve been done better wrt Fred.

anyway this was a very long ramble abt something most ppl here probably don’t care about but yeah those are my thoughts on phoebe waller-bridge’s crashing (2016) i.e. her practice run of writing gay interracial toxic romances which quite literally walked so that killing eve could run. I don’t know if I would say it’s a great show or worthy of all of the attention I give it but it is fun and it’s somehow rooted itself into my brain and I care a lot about it even if I won’t say that I love it.

#asks #crashing