#but we are trying on lesbian again I feel like I'm more settled w myself and understand lesbian history better to feel comfortable here

[dykefaggotry]

me every few years swinging between using bisexual and lesbian bc I thought a middle aged actor was hot

anyway. this is a coming out post. again. lesbian 👍

there will probably be more every few years and at this point that's just my lot in life

#sexuality and gender aren't real I don't fucking know yall! #but we are trying on lesbian again I feel like I'm more settled w myself and understand lesbian history better to feel comfortable here #last time I was pushed into identifying as a femme by my ex and that felt so bad that I took issue w calling myself a lesbian in general #and then michael sheen comphet hit and it was over #as well as not being able to conceptualize wanting to transition and still be a lesbian #but we've come back around into the endless confusing circle of gay to pan to bi to lesbian to bi to queer to lesbian again dhajshdj #it's fine you know? all I know is I'm always a fag and that's all I really need #plus there was the factor of my girlfriends comfort but we have Talked #anyway that's all to say. Who Fucking Knows #but I always wind up back here at some point lmao

[dykeomania]

Mia please I need advice on how to build a roster or even start going on dates w other women in the first place like I swear I’m not a loser I just don’t know where to start. For context I’m a femme lesbian who likes butches/mascs ….any advice will be appreciated thank u kindly ……

okay i am so bad at answering asks but i'm gonna try to give you a rundown and tell you some stuff based off of my experience

so i'm like pretty feminine presenting i guess (i dress "comfortably," tomboyish, idk), would not say i lean strictly masculine in terms of how i present myself. i keep my options pretty open. uhhh, i'm american, so i use like. dating apps in america. i'm 20. waves my hands. yktv ok just some context.

dating apps are fun. get into dating apps. i like hinge because you can set your location to wherever you want and it's free and that been be super useful if you happen to live in a small town or any place that doesn't have a big lesbo community. pro is that you can set your location wherever you want (set it to mass or anywhere in the upper northeast, bitches are gay as fuck up here -- by like uvm, mount holyoke, downtown boston, or new york, pennsylvania too surprisingly). con is that you can set it to anywhere you want, and that might put you in a long-medium distance situation so be ready for that/mindful of that or just have a car.

i would say that hinge is also good because it learns your taste after a while. so if you only swipe on masculine presenting women, then it'll pick up on that after a while and begin to only show you women who are masculine presenting. pretty cool

going on dates, and flirting with women. im not gonna say too much here bc you said you're not a loser so i think you got it but generally speaking like, when it comes time and you've got a girl in your dms and let's say you're somewhat close, don't hold back. if you catch a vibe, you can be like heyyyy im gonna be in your cityyyy dadadada we should go for coffee. let's link, let's do something. or let them know, and be like we should do something, and let them make the plans. keep them held to that. and by this point like, definitely make sure that 1) you know this person is real obvi 2) you've exchanged #s /socials with them, or at least after you've agreed to go on a date -- this is a me thing, it makes things feel a little more set in stone for me personally. and do not just settle for casual hookups. some women will hit you up on some like, oh let's just link or makeout or come to my dorm, and if that's your jam, i would say go for it but i would also caution you. however, if you want more than that there are a hundred percent women who are more than willing to like, take you ice skating, take you on a picnic, go for a walk somewhere, etc. don't settle. be patient, but don't settle

and when it comes to dating generally speaking, define your boundaries. say what it is that you want, and honor that, and honor what the other person wants as well. things may change, but it's important to make sure that everyone is on a good playing field before you really delve into things past like, a first date. things can be casual still obviously after the second date, third date, what may have you, however, but again, good comunication is important so just make sure that y'all are on the same page even if it's just casual and you're feeling things out. like, are you exclusive? do you wanna be? if you're gonna kiss at the end of your dates, make sure you both know what that means, if anything at all? etc.

and i guess the last and perhaps the most unhelpful thing is like, just keep your options very broad in terms of where you're looking but i'd also encourage you to be careful. i met some girls on my roster through like, a social media app meant for college students that i downloaded bc of my school (yik yak, dead ass). people pop up from anywhere.

i hope this was helpful. i kinda wanna say more but im trying to find things to say and it is hard because i am so sleepy

#mia what are you talking about #mwah #lowkey? #mia's dating column