#callum not being able to process sorpeli or claudiez is the funniest part of both of these crackships

[jelzorz]

164.

As per @raayllum's request. Takes place/makes references to the fruit (~7 years post-series end, aka everyone is a fully consenting adult) which is not required reading but does explain what Rayla is talking about and is my justification for the existence of this ship.

"It's weird."

"No, it isn't."

"It is."

"Callum." Rayla lets out a breath. She likes to think she's been pretty patient about this, but it's been a long couple of months, and she's growing bored of managing Callum's expectations for him. To an extent, she understands: first Claudia had come home, and rather than be sentenced for her crimes, Ez had pardoned her, and then, somehow, had started courting her, and Rayla had thought that was weird too at first, but the fit Callum had thrown was pointless at best, and stupid and immature at worst. Rayla is his partner, his wife now, before she is anything else, and she's defended him in the past for his poor decision making and his poorer behaviour, but she will not defend him for his spat with Ez.

He has, thankfully, grown past it, but the reason he put his head back on straight is the new thing he can't get past, and they're not even dressed for dinner yet but Rayla is already exhausted by his inability to process the unexpected.

He pouts at her, helpless, confused, but Rayla would have more sympathy for him if he hadn't spent the last few months in a cold war with Ezran. She will not forgive him if he has another one with Soren and Opeli.

"What's the problem, exactly?" she demands, her patience well and truly wearing thin. "Is there something wrong with them being together?"

"I just—" Callum sputters, his brain obviously stuck on the word together like it's hammer caught between the gears of his brain. "It's—Soren—"

"You had no issues when Soren was dating Corvus."

"No, it's not—" He huffs. "With Opeli?"

"Yes. With Opeli. And?"

He flounders for a moment longer, looking more and more a like a fish gasping for air. "It's... I dunno, Rayla, the thought that they—they—"

"Oh, it's the sex, is it?"

Callum slams his mouth shut and goes so red that it takes all of Rayla's willpower not to dissolve into hysterics right there and then. Admittedly, she'd had the fortune of being told straight—by Opeli, when she'd gone investigating after the tension between all her friends had begun to piss her off. Callum and Ez were already refusing to talk to each other last spring, and when Opeli and Soren started to avoid each other too, Rayla had put her foot down and ambushed her in her office before the situation could grow anymore out of hand.

Then... Well. This summer hasn't been easy for them. She will not let Callum make it worse.

"Don't say it like that." Callum squeezes his eyes shut and rubs at his temples. "It's—Opeli's like a mom, y'know?"

Rayla snorts at him. "Mums have sex, Callum."

"And Soren is like—he's like one of us. It's—it's kind of—" He grimaces, and for what it's worth, looks genuinely frustrated at himself for not being able to reconcile it. Rayla gives him some grace for that. "Look, I don't want you to think I'm not, like, happy for them? It's just... Opeli's been High Cleric my whole life, and she's been looking out for us since we were teenagers, and she's so much older that—"

Rayla stops him there with a scowl. "Is there something wrong with ageing women, Callum?"

"What? No! That's not—"

"Is she not allowed want things, Callum?"

"I didn't mean it like that!"

"Is Soren not allowed to think she's attractive just because she's older?"

"Rayla." He bows his head, resigned, exhausted, ashamed. "There's nothing wrong with them being together," he concedes. "Like. They're both adults. It's their decision. And after everything they've both done, and after what happened this summer... If they're happy, that's all that matters. My brain just... needs time, I guess." Then, quietly, and perhaps a little pathetically, he adds, "Sorry."

Rayla blinks at him, pleasantly surprised by his maturity after the months without it. "I get it," she says at last. "It threw me for a loop too, but at the end of the day, it doesn't change anything. They're still our friends. Our family. We'd still do anything for them, right?"

Callum nods childishly, and Rayla offers him a smile at last and pats his cheek. "Let's go have dinner with them. Think you can do that without having an aneurysm?"

He gives her a look. "Give me some credit."

Rayla laughs at that, loops her arm through his, and presses a kiss into his cheek. "Good," she says with a chuckle, "because Soren's been bugging me about this double date for weeks. Let's just have a good time with our friends, okay?"

Callum takes a breath but he smiles, if a little nervously, and nods. "Yeah. Sounds good."

#rayllum #sorpeli #callum not being able to process sorpeli or claudiez is the funniest part of both of these crackships #once again i will fight everyone for this ship #ageing 👏 women 👏 can 👏 be 👏 desirable 👏 too 👏 #in anticipation