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#catch me crying while writing this tbh 8'D BUT IT'S A GOOD KIND OF PAIN
howthesleeplesswander · 6 months
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❛ i’m sorry, but i’m just thinking of the right words to say. ❜ // @Kazuma but... Masked Apprentice Kazuma?? 👀👀👀👀
Songs from the 80's Sentence Starters | Accepting! | @tenacquity
((hoooOOOWEE ARE YOU READY TO CRY?? 8'D I SURE HOPE SO, HERE WE GOOO))
The right words?
He may have laughed at the statement if he remembered how. If it weren't so cruel in its irony. For the words this man spoke didn't matter when the mere sound of his voice shook the Apprentice to his core.
Every time, without fail. After months of wandering the foggy London streets like a wraith plucked from a ghost story, the feeling of being utterly lost was never as powerful—or as weak—as in this man's presence.
He made the emptiness inside of him better, yet simultaneously worse. As the Apprentice watched him struggle to speak, he didn't recognize the churning depths of his eyes or the thoughtful crease to his brow—and that unfamiliarity ached unlike anything else. Earth-shattering, even though he couldn't understand it. Powerful enough to change everything if only he could remember.
And he wanted to, with a desperation he didn't know himself capable of feeling before their fateful meeting in the Prosecutor's Office only yesterday. But he couldn't. He'd tried. And the same thought crushed down upon his shoulders now as it did then:
What right did he have to something—to someone—he did not know?
He shouldn't be here.
He'd never intended to face him to begin with. With the halls of the Old Bailey dim and abandoned for the night, the Apprentice had been about to leave, too: prepared to spend another night searching for anything that might trigger his memories, if the other man hadn't found him first.
Wasn't this exactly what he'd wanted? No—not this. It was too much. Too painful.
The Apprentice took a step back. Then another. Each one soundless yet stilted as he battled against himself: trapped between a visceral urge to flee, to leave this man behind—and an equally powerful conviction that he couldn't. Not again.
—again?
He didn't...They didn't... Did they?
It was too much...!
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In the end the Apprentice moved no further. He merely watched, dark eyes unreadable in the shadows of his mask and cloak. Silently weathering the tempest of nonsensical emotion surging through his rib cage. Waiting for something he didn't understand.
Or, perhaps, simply waiting for the right words.
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SoS 22 Replies
First of all, that post I just reblogged before this? That’s what our Discord chat looked like this past long weekend. There was a LOT of talk about SoS 22, which I am so so so so pleased about, and I’ll embed some of the best parts into this replies post as we go. So, without further ado:
@tiny-tany-thaanos​ replied to your photo “An extended cantata on a sacred subject.”
Oh
My
God
Three emphatic words of terror! An excellent start
@harmoniouspixels replied to the same:
/Oh shit/
I KNOW! I’m so pleased with how the shot came out, I was trying to replicate the other title ca-- oh, you mean oh shit they’re tied to chairs
@toxoplasmajuice replied to the same:
exsqueeze me?
Well, we all know it’s not exactly an ex squeezing them now,
@autistichatkid replied to the same: 
....... ah
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Lissa said on Discord in reference to “Lethe: “I’m SO glad you’re awake. We’ve only got a little of tonight...”
Lethe: Hey, you. You're finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush, same as us, and that thief over there 
autistichatkid said in reference to the same or thereabouts:
lethe: who wants to play a game
Show of hands, who wants The Jigsaw Killer vs The Dragonborn
harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “Lyra: “Now, what’s this game you’re talking about?” Lethe: *back to...”
Lethe you /motherfucker/
autistichatkid said in reference to “Lethe: “Two more people die tonight - but who isn’t up to me anymore....”
whoa im WHAT lethe you cant DO THAT lethe u cant make them choose,,,,, lethe stop murder maybe
Like I said, this Sadistic Choice is one I’ve relished putting into partial play since the beginning so I’m glad it had the Desired Audience Effect. and the desired In Universe effect too, of course
harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “Lyra: “Let me.” Lorelei: “–w-what?” Lethe: “What?” Lyra: *slightly...”
😬
That sure is the face Lyra is making
harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “Lorelei: *comprehension dawning* “…want you to go…” *leans back in her...”
👀
That sure is the face Lorelei is mak--*bricked*
@bountifulberries replied to the same: 
ooooooh shit
toxoplasmajuice replied to the same: 
oh SHIIIIIIIIT
Mesh the two together and you get “ooooooh SHIIIIIIIIT”, and that sounds like a barbershop quartet rendition
harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “Lyra: “I can’t lose Felicity either!!” Felicity: 60.73 Percy: 46.23”
Holy shit Feli!! (Also I'm still ?? if it's her so I can't really react one way or the other rn so I'm just :eyes:)
Feli won!! If she hadn’t had so much murderous baggage attached to that victory, it would be incredible. ...as it is, it’s still incredible, just with extra murderous baggage
Also, this is your second victory, right? After that - one project? 
harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “Lethe: “…” Lorelei: *hand outstretched, waiting for another sound*...”
I'm??? Feeling things here??? (God if it really does end up being Feli my heart's gonna b r e a k)
💔
@melien​ replied to the same:
As usual I'm in awe because of your writing
??!!?! I’m so pleased!!
autistichatkid said in reference to the same:
okay so im leaning toward lethe being percy still but its gonna be Weird if lyra is like "yeah uhhhhh kill feli" and. lethe Is feli. i dont think it's feli but honestly idk i also dont think lyra is coming to a "decision", just killing time, but yknow weird hypotheticals
Me, literally, to Jack, when you said that hours after the fact: 😬
Jack: If this is about Kasper's current reactions I'm just like "Oh honey, you've got a big storm coming" 
autistichatkid said in reference to “Lyra: “…Okay. Okay. I - ” *sighs, part in dread and part from...”
THEY FREE
They’re not the only ones getting free tonight........
harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “Lyra: *louder, to be heard over the crying* “Lethe? Something happen...”
*Vibrating with suspense*
NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FELT SETTING THIS ALL UP 
@simstrations replied to the same:
Cliffhanger?!
Fortunately it’s only a very shallow cliff... with a pretty deep pit at the bottom, so win/win
bountifulberries replied to your photoset “Lyra: “Felicity.”
nooooooooooooooooooooooooo
harmoniouspixels replied to the same:
FUCK
toxoplasmajuice replied to the same:
OH FUCK
autistichatkid said in reference to the same:
OH FUCK ME IT'S FELI
I AM STILL SO SORRY IT HAD TO COME TO THIS
harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “Felicity: *sobbing too hard to even speak* ”
FUCK I CALLED THIS
tiny-tany-thaanos replied to the same:
Jeez, I guessed it right
simstrations replied to the same:
I thought so. This is good
Well, it was her or Percy at this point. Not like y’all had a lot of options :P
melien replied to the same:
This is sooooo intense
Interesting thing about Lethe compared to my other murderers, as you may or may not have picked up on: the murders are a lot simpler in scope. No convoluted set-ups with electromagnetic bombs, no risin poisoning or hypnosis - not even a Wounded Gazelle Gambit. They’re all just things that anybody, with a disability of any stripe or without, can do - partly to make things less painful for the victims, partly to make it easier for Feli to believe she was being kind, partly so that it looks like anyone could’ve done it
...wait, did I already explain this? I’m flying home today and it’s kind of been long so forgive me if I’m repeating myself
harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “Lyra: *voice breaking as she stumbles over* “Feli- you’ve been - it’s...”
😭😭😭
harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “Felicity: “W- why’d you come in here? Yo- I - I was being Lethe. Had...”
😭
Jack is NOT even exaggerating here. Per Discord: “Y’all I’m starting to get tipsy and I’m Big Sad as this is sinking in [...] I had the first MMBC where the murderer won and now my contestant is the murderer who won. This is incredibly fitting tbh. Still gonna have a billion crying emojis on the posts tho”
Let’s put that to the test, in fact. Crying count: 4
toxoplasmajuice replied to your photoset “Felicity: “Hey! How-” “Felicity! Thank god, you’re awake. I’ve–”...”
hmmmmmmmmmm
harmoniouspixels replied to the same:
🤔👀
Did y’all doubt Elias
harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “Elias: “You, you’ve got to send someone up! I don’t even know if it’s...”
OH HELL NO
toxoplasmajuice replied to the same:
HMMMMMMMMMMMM
Y’ALL BETTER NOT HAVE DOUBTED ELIAS
toxoplasmajuice replied to your photoset “Elias: “O-ow–!” Felicity: “Who-?!” Cathy Baines: “Don’t push your...”
CATHERINE MOTHERFUCKIGN BAINES
harmoniouspixels replied to the same:
OH MY FUCJING GOD CATHH FUCKING BAINES
HEAD CHEERLEADER
HOMECOMING QUEEN
PART TIME MOTHERFUCKING MODEL
autistichatkid said in reference to the same: 
oh hi cathy
Lisa, Lisa, you’re tearing me apAAAart!
harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “Cathy: “Felicity! Hi! So great to finally chat to you in person! I’ve...”
Holy fucking shit
yeah that about sums it up
Jack in Discord: I can only imagine reading this sober bc reading this tipsy is a trip
Clover: im sober but losing my mind so whats the difference
I’m teetotal and I was freaking out all days so here’s my stance on that
harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “Cathy: “You see… how do I put this delicately…? Oh! Have you ever...”
Oh my /god/. Oh my /*god*/
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(Also may this just be the essence of Cathy, you are absolutely nailing her character here and I am Living for it)
I’ve already thanked you for thinking so, but thank you again for thinking so!! 
harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “Cathy: “Anywayyy, I didn’t just call to let you know how things’re...”
Oh Cathy you conniving little despair being you
Well done, Cathybot, have a biscuit
Jack: Also I reread a bit and her saying Riverview isn't a swing state? Classic Cathy right there
Fun fact: took me a while when writing to remember what a swing state was called. I think I initially wanted to call it a ‘stem state’ or some shit like that?
harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “Felicity: “…s-so… so - if I do this… if I… you’ll let Elias go?” ...”
😭😭😭
Crying count: 7
Jack: Catch me get emotional rn like I’m trying not to cry like poor Feli and fucking Cathy being That Despair Btich
Doesn’t seem to me like you’re trying very hard /TEASING
harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “Felicity: “Y… you are, Elias. You are. You’re my brother, you’re -...”
💔💔
I only wish my brother and I had that kinda relationship
autistichatkid said in reference to “Felicity: “I t- I tried - I tried to pr- protect you as much as I...”
oh god....... oh god
I didn’t even ‘learn’ that Chadrick used his teeth until the actual writing process; I was operating under the assumption he’d used a knife too. Fuck you for giving me the worst ideas at the best times, Brain
oh jesus the first time i read thru that i read "im sorry for LIVING" instead of "im sorry for lying" and i. didnt even question it. jesus fuck
D:
harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “Felicity: “–y- h- huh?” *realizes the hand in hers, looks up* “W…...”
😢
W......
Crying count: 8 (single tears count)
harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “Felicity, stumbling to her feet: “W- we are? You’re… really–?”...”
Lyra is? So good? I love her so much. And Feli (and Lor and her side)
THEY ARE ALL SO GOOD THOUGH. HOW DID I MAKE THESE
toxoplasmajuice replied to your photoset “Lorelei: “A- any luck?” Lyra: *through the door* “Yeah, there’s one...”
eden lee: you're all talking at once! / lorelei, lavandar, percy: *all talk at once again*
See, the difference is that that time they were all saying the same thing, which makes them much easier to be understood, and furthermore,
harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “Lorelei: “Lavandar!!” *grabs her hand* “We gotta go!”  Lavandar:...”
!!!!
autistichatkid replied to the same:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
EVERYBODY IS SCREAMING
harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “Lavandar: “B-but what go- good will I-” Lyra, from inside the car: “A...”
😢
Crying count: 9
melien replied to the same:
It's heartbreaking and I want to give them a big hug but I had a feeling it would happen
I’M NOT GOING TO LIE THOUGH MELIEN IT WAS A VERY CLOSE CALL WITHIN THE LAST  CHANCE ROOM FOR A SEC THERE. Eden Lee went first and their two Rant About Dark Rooms in a row bumped them up by six points per, and Lavandar did less interactions in the same amount of time but fortunately she was just ahead enough at the start of the day that a well placed Discuss SLR Cameras was enough to get her ahead, and I would’ve been happy whichever one of the two won but 
but come on having the one Lorelei confided her Melody backstory to win was A GREAT BONUS
harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “Lyra: “-so that’s about the size of that.” Lavandar: “G- god… fuck, no...”
1) I’m feeling the suspense of this 2) The driver is a mood
I’ve been getting a lot of Lyfts over the course of this holiday, and in fact I was up here when they had that strike - I feel worse for Lyft and Uber drivers now than I ever have before, and I already felt pretty bad
toxoplasmajuice replied to your photoset “Cathy: “–it over to Safehouse F!  “…no, I don’t care how, break it in...”
give her HELL lyra
harmoniouspixels replied to the same:
KICK 👏🏼 HER 👏🏼 ASS 👏🏼
Lyra: *kangaroo kicks down Cathy Baines with her leg, falls flat on her ass* CALLBACK HOLY FUCK
toxoplasmajuice replied to your photoset “Cathy: “I’ll be damned. Melody Buonarroti, back at last…” Lorelei: “C-...”
FUCK
harmoniouspixels replied to the same:
Oh shit!!
Bollocks! 
harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “Lyra: “Enough!! Leave everyone else out of this!! If you’re gonna fuck...”
Cathy what does that mean...
Cathy: you heard what I said little boy
toxoplasmajuice replied to your photoset “Cathy: “Are you so atrociously naive that you think it’s possible to...”
hey "cathy" go *be a good girl* and spontaneously combust please :)
Would that I could make her, Clover, would that I could make her
harmoniouspixels replied to the same:
😬
Teeth Grits
Jack in Discord: Again, you nailed her characterization. It perfectly illustrated how Junko influenced my writing on her and I was living for it It was a tone shift, but like I said, perfectly in-character and I loved
:D
harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “*crunch* Lorelei: *gasp* Lavandar: “Oh god-!!”
😨
toxoplasmajuice replied to the same:
SHIT
autistichatkid replied to the same:
😬😰
Lyra picked a fight with the wrong arch enemy
@tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “Cathy: “…fine.” *Lyra drops to the ground, wheezing, taking in as...”
go eat cottage cheese and saltines in the dark, you triscuit looking bitch
I should note that Vidcund was coming back from Greece for much of this rigmarole. It’s, perhaps, very telling that her first and only “on-site” reply to this was the kind of threat that an angry Zeus would make.
autistichatkid replied to your photoset “Lyra: “…alive.” Felicity: *burying her head in Elias’s shoulder,...”
😭
toxoplasmajuice replied to the same:
1. 😭😭😭 2. my poses!
harmoniouspixels replied to the same:
😭😭
Other people’s crying counts too! Crying count: 15
autistichatkid replied to your photoset “Lyra: “Hey, Lor, new plan. Can you guys go on without me for a bit?” ...”
flower, gleam, and gl
Lavandar is Rapunzel under UV Light
harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “Lyra: “…Feli?” Felicity: *covers face to hide a fresh wave of tears,...”
💔
I mean Felicity’s concern isn’t? Invalid?
harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “Felicity: “You… you didn’t have to do a- any of this. Not for me....”
Fuck 😭
Crying count: 16
toxoplasmajuice replied to your photoset “Lyra: “C’mere.”  Felicity: *stiffens at her touch* “Lyra-?” ...”
theres somethign in my eye
harmoniouspixels replied to the same:
Oh fuck 💔😭
Hm. Do I count things being in Clover’s eye? ... eh, let’s do it. Crying count: 18
(I keep count, but I can’t talk - while writing this part I was fucking bawling)
Clover: im going to die because of this
Jack: Also Catch Troye Francis in the club obstructing Justice (But again, Cathy)  I know I say that but Dub I’m living for this finale. It’s so good
Honestly if Troye HAD obstructed Justice and they had won the Francis MMBC a whole lot of shit might not have gone down and it’d be a worse universe
autistichatkid reblogged your photoset and tagged:
#YES BABY YOU ARE!!! YOU ARE IM AAAAAAAAA
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autistichatkid reblogged your photoset and tagged:
#😭😭😭😭❤❤❤ 
harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “Lavandar: “Lorelei, I’m home!! I’m home, y- you’re home, we’re -...”
❤️😭
autistichatkid reblogged the same and added:
THEY’RE HOME 😭❤😭
Crying count: 25
melien replied to the same:
This is freaking cute ;_;
melien replied to your photoset “Lyra: “Hey, lovebirds, heh - Eden Lee’s still here.” Lavandar:...”
Thanks for being so understanding about this, melien 
autistichatkid replied to your photoset “Lavandar: “Oooh, l- look at that one! It’s all sparkly, like your...”
😭
Crying count: 26. BRB building an ark
bountifulberries replied to your photoset “Lyra, as sirens rise in the distance: “You… sure did.” – End of...”
!!!!!!!!!!!!
harmoniouspixels replied to the same:
Oh shit 👀
toxoplasmajuice replied to the same:
AAAAAAAAAAA
SO MANY GHOSTS WENT UPSTAIRS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER THAT NIGHT
melien-simspiration (so basically melien) reblogged your photoset and tagged:
#yay birthmarks! #they look great and I love the naming choice
Thank!!! 
harmoniouspixels replied to your post “Murderers, Expectations, and the Unintended Benefits”
I’ve just finished reading this and?? Holy shit??? I’m so impressed with all that you put into this and the fact you were able to guide me into doing things (releasing Elias, asking about Veronica’s exes), without me being suspicious at all. Granted Elias was asked via a disguised anon, but the exes question (at least back then) I didn’t bat an eye at, and just figured it would be a good point of Veronica’s backstory. I’m just still so shook, and you deserve all the praise for this!
Part of me still feels like I don’t, but I’m trying to shut it up because?? AAA??? All this reception???!!!
Jack: Also if I’m remembering the post right, I do agree with Cathy’s death in Baines being... lackluster, unfitting for one of her caliber. I think it was part to do with my mental state at the time and wanting to leave simblr, so squashing a loose end like that felt right at the time. However, as I re-evaluated my stance and stuck around, that decision still haunts me, and I so desperately wish she was still alive on the surface for me to do stuff with. (Especially given my political interests and my quasi-real world events interlaced with the MMBC-verse, I would’ve had a field day writing for Cathy had she lived and won the congressional seat she was running for)
However, the continued existence of her robots have given me some... ideas, to say the least >:)
I have already evil grinned back at you, but here’s one more for the road: >:)
autistichatkid said of the same: 
finale / analysis thoughts: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA im. i loved that so fucking much oh my god
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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