#covering your trauma w flirtatious flippancy is sooooo. me

[autoneurotic]

called out at work as an astarion girlie

#how did he know. he just guessed. #i’m nothing if not painfully obvious i guess #it’s just like. he’s just like me for real #covering your trauma w flirtatious flippancy is sooooo. me #just assuming you get through life by grinning and bearing it ! when you could be happy instead ! #‘the worst thing isn’t that he (cazador) did it it’s that he did it to ME’ #AAHHHHH ASTARION I LOVE YOU #the few times he’s mentions his past and seducing ppl for cazador makes me insane #like he sounds so pained the whole time but tries so hard to play it off #like well it was over quick enough anyway ! #and then u find that blood lady in moonrise who wants him to bite her #and if you say fuck off dude he’s his own Man #ar camp later he’s like. almost surprised that you said that!! and was even like talking you and him into it after the fact #like it would have been worth what she was offering whats one more time ha ha 🥲 #OR (im sorry i can’t stop) when you find the drow twins and they’re like we could all fuck ? #he says oooo my love im not sure im ready for that again. #and he sounds NERVOUS. and APOLOGETIC. like IM going to be upset?! #and you can say that pretty much and he’s like i hate it when you’re nice ew……..thank you <3 #MY POOR BOY. my GOD. ohhhhh. #i gotta go lie down i thought about astarion too hard it gave me brain damage