#crescence cries

[crescencestudio]

in honor of all the new love for druk as he deserves

this past weekend, i was really nervous about releasing the new demo. compared to when i first released the og alaris demo, my following had grown because of intertwine. i didn’t know if new fans would like alaris as much as intertwine and generally ive heard demo releases (especially updated/enhanced demo releases) typically don’t do as well compared to, for example, full game releases. on top of that, i didn’t have the additional exposure that comes with releasing a game during a jam like nanoreno or otojam.

all that being said, i tried really hard to temper my expectations for the demo release.

alaris debuts at number five on spotify charts ((shout out to mindmindmind by chatter, it is very cracked play if u haven't already)

but it turns out because you all are so unbelievably supportive, i didn’t have to 😭 within the first day, alaris was the most popular visual novel being played and one of the most popular games period. generally, i try not to put too much worth on metrics since making a game on its own is a huge accomplishment to me. but seeing things like this reminds me how grateful i am to have players give my games a chance and enjoy them. thank u as always for blowing my expectations out of the water. words really can’t express enough how overwhelmed i get by your support 💖

#alaris #druk #crescence cries

[crescencestudio]

YOU GUYS WONT FCKN BELIEEEVEEEEEEEEE

GUESS WHO FINISHED ETZA’S FIRST DRAFTTTT

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS ⁉️

THAT MEANS FOUR OUT OF SIX ROUTES ARE WRITTEN

F O U R

THE MAIN GANG IS WRITTEN

ONLY THE TWO FAE R LEFT

RRRAAAAAGUUUUHHHUGGGGHHHHHHHHH ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

#alaris #etza #crescence cries

[crescencestudio]

this is a boring dev related post but for all my devs out there, have u ever seen this resource?????

i stumbled upon it while doing coding for intertwine and it has SO MANY RESOURCES that r so easy to read??? and shows so many possibilities for renpy

so many ways to customize the choice menu (like showing a different type of menu based on the choices players r making, or adding indicators on the choices themselves, etc.)

customizing save file names for a more polished product

drop down menus

automatic flashing indicators for special events or choices

a bunch of premade frameworks, templates, codes that can be used for gui, animation, etc.????

literally so many features to heighten the code and gameplay of ur game!!!!!!

ALSO i’ve been posting a lot recently bc i have been hyped up on energy drinks and am Too Hyper. IF UR ANNOYED W ME I UNDERSTAND

#crescence cries #brain is braining for what i can implement for alaris!!!

[crescencestudio]

2023: A Year of Connection

Hi everyone!

As I told you last month, this month's "devlog" will be more like an end-of-year recap. For those of you who have known me a while, you'll know that I get ~in my feels~ and Very Nostalgic at the end of the year. And this year is no exception to that.

Looking back on this year, I realize I did much more than I thought I did. The year was filled with so many waves of uncertainty, burnout, and ruts, that I felt like I wasn't accomplishing anything in the moment. Now that the year has actually wrapped up, I can see that was Once Again my imposter syndrome whispering words of sweet nothings into my ears.

In fact, this year, I find that I did Way More than what I did last year. Crazy, considering how busy I remember 2022 being. Let's take a walk down memory lane, shall we?

Writing

If there is one thing this bitch did, it's fucking write LFMASODIJ. For all my complaining this year of routes taking too long, getting creative ruts, etc., I still wrote (what I consider) a Very Good amount. While I may not have hit my writing goals that I had set out, I still ended up writing around 255k words in total this year. Most of this being for Alaris, and some of it being for my dissertation (LOL) and other side games, like Intertwine and Jam Games.

This number also doesn't include deleted passages, edited passages, etc., so the amount I've spent writing, reviewing, etc. was Significant this year. Here's to hoping that momentum continues into next year and finishing the rest of Alaris!

Side Games

Something completely unexpected, but that I'll forever be grateful for, was my decision(s) to join game jams this year. It all started with Otojam, a visual novel jam I'd wanted to join for a WHILE.

Intertwine was, without a doubt, one of my most memorable moments from this year. The friends I made/grew closer to during that jam. The people I connected with because of Intertwine. The people I got to work with. Everything about the experience surpassed my expectations, and Van and Summer 2023 will always hold a very special place in my heart because of it. Thank you to everyone who enjoyed that game. It was my first full game I ever released, and I couldn't have been more nervous about it (no literally. I wasn't sleeping and I was nauseous for a week before release).

Knowing there was no "revision" afterwards that I could hide behind or promise that there would be a "better"/"enhanced" version made the release terrifying. But the reception you all gave to it and support from so many friends made me feel so connected and grateful for the community.

The other three side projects were... well, Unexpected. LOL. Before these jams, I'd never wanted to work in team settings, mostly because I have Mad Imposter Syndrome, and I've always imagined I'd be dead weight in any given game dev team. My skills on writing, art, and/or coding alone aren't "exemplary" enough for me to think I, well, deserve to be on a team. But when a couple of short jams were being held by a friend, and teams were being made filled with other friends, I thought maybe I could help, even if it's just to QA/playtest. But I've walked away from each of these experiences learning so much from other talented people and with very dear friends.

Each of these side games truly tested my chops in terms of writing, narrative design, and coding. But I'm glad I challenged myself to take part in each of these experiences because I've walked away with so much more than I would've expected.

Alaris

My Heart. My Soul. And at times, My Worst Enemy.

As much as I may have talked about how I Wasn't making progress on this baby. I, in fact, made A LOT of progress:

Art: 15 CGs, Updated Sprites, Kickstarter Artwork

Commissions: 20 BGs, Complete GUI, Personality/Affection Indicators, Editing, Voice Acted Lines, Complete OST (8 Tracks!)

Writing: Three Finished Routes

Shipped Kickstarter Merchandise

I'm going to be Real with you all. I'm not in the mood to recap everything for Alaris in the way I did with everything else LAFKMSDFOIJWOEI. Main reason being, I do that Every Month, and at this point, I would feel like I'm repeating myself for no reason. But let me tell you, when the Enhanced Demo comes out, you will see what I'm talking about with progress made. And I'm excited for the next year when I start getting to show things off (read: Demo Release and Route Beta Releases) now that assets have really come together ^^

I will say, thank you for sticking with this project for so long. It's easy to get bogged down in development when a project like this is as big as it is. It's just as easy to think that no one will care about this by the time I release, or people will start losing their patience with me as development goes on. So I'm forever grateful for how kind, supportive, and patient you all are, especially this year <3

Connections: The True Theme of 2023

If you've made it this far, I'm extremely impressed with you. And to reward you, I'll give you a moment of honesty and vulnerability which, to be frank, I Don't Do as a person and especially with my dev persona LMFAOO ((Before I do, let it be known, CW: mention of death, grief, alcoholism, chronic illness, suicidal thoughts))

Something I don't talk about much is that for all of 2022 and most of 2023, I was not in a good place mentally. At the beginning of 2022, I lost three very important people in my life back-to-back (I'm not exaggerating when I say back-to-back it was within 2 weeks, three separate deaths lol). That, on its own, was hard to deal with. But on top of that, I soon found myself having to cope/help with a family member's chronic illness and another family member's mental health (read: alcoholism, suicidality).

While this isn't a particularly unique situation, it was one that I found myself struggling with pretty severely on top of a pretty demanding work life. And it was a situation I found myself in until about midway through this year. Things have lightened up. I navigate a new life with some pretty severe triggers, and without the presence of some of my most loved ones. But overall, I at least feel like I can breathe and function, which is a state I didn't feel like I could exist in for over a year (and started to believe I may never exist in again).

Because of this new room in my life, I was able to connect with people again, in a more genuine way. I've grown closer to a lot of dev friends, to the point I consider some of them genuine close friends. And IRL, I've been able to reconnect with some of my dearest loved ones. The main reason I bring all of this up is because this year, I felt unbelievably connected to people, whether that was dev friends in the community, people who support my games, and IRL people.

And sometimes, when you interact with people solely online, it's easy to think they don't care as much about you as you do for them. But this has been disproven to me time and time again this year. And I've found myself in a state of appreciation for so many of the people I've been blessed to meet and befriend <3 I felt this especially so during some of the game jams, with the Secret Santa gift exchange, and with my recent Holiday Tree.

So thank you for everyone who has let me take up some space in their life. You literally Do Not Know how much it means to me and impacts me. This year, while I started it in a state of slightly hopelessness and numbness, I find myself ending it with gratitude and connection.

I hope the rest of this year (the very few couple of days we have left LOL) treats everyone well. I'm excited for how we get to start 2024 and what we'll get to experience together <3 Thank you again for the memories and support, love you all very dearly ^^

#crescence cries

[crescencestudio]

IIIII PROPOSEDDDD MY DISSERTATIONNN AND THEY SAID I CAN MOVE FORWARD WOTH IT. YYYYYEEEESSSSSSS.

ONE

STEP

CLOSERRRRRRRRRR RAAAAGGHHHHHH

#crescence cries

[crescencestudio]

kuna'a's route has officially entered its writing era everyone cheer

#alaris #crescence cries

[crescencestudio]

the day that i finish my dissertation and alaris and no longer have workaholic guilt tugging at me.............. what will that day feel like............... what will the freedom of these shackles feel like.............

#crescence cries

[crescencestudio]

OFFICIALLY SUBMITTED MY DISSERTATION PROPOSAL TO MY COMMITTEE RAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

#AFTER MONTHS OF TORTUROUS WRITING #AND MONTNS OF PAINFUL EDITINF #WE NOW ENTER MONTHS OF WAITINF #AND THEN WE PROPOSE AND BEGIN MONTHS OF ACTUAL RESEARCH HAAAAAAHAAAAAA #WE LOVE IT HERE #THIS IS A BIG MOMENT FOR ME THO LFOXOAOZPSOS #A YEAR IN THE MAKING FR 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #crescence cries

[crescencestudio]

can i give u all an unsolicited recommendation

if u struggle w insomnia or falling asleep for ANY reason. i can not. recommend. the “sleep with me” podcast on spotify enough.

this is what you’re going to do ok.

search “sleep with me” on spotify and there should be a podcast by Dearest Scooter. it’s like 1000+ episodes and they’re each at least an hour long

u will play it on your phone while you’re in bed. set the sleep timer on your spotify to whatever time you want (i do 45 mins, 1 hr, or the full podcast depending on how i’m feeling). and then just play it.

this person is the perfect blend of boring and interesting. like he’s not so boring it’s distracting but he’s not so interesting he keeps you up listening (he does this on purpose!!!). IT HAS WORKED FOR ME EVERY TIME IVE EVER STRUGGLED W FALLING ASLEEP AND I HAVE HAD CHRONIC INSOMNIA FOREVER!!!!

can’t sleep bc of trauma, grief, anxiety, insomnia, U NAME IT!!! IVE ALWAYS FALLEN ASLEEP LISTENING TO AN EPISODE

if i have to die on a hill defending a niche recommendation it would be this. i hope it helps one of u.

#crescence cries #dearest scooter u r literally my religion

[crescencestudio]

Intertwine Post-Mortem

i lied. i don’t know if this qualifies as a post mortem. i don’t even know what a post mortem is LMFAOkxkak

but this is my post intertwine release “devlog” chock full of dev experiences, behind the scenes looks, and more for those who want to know more about the process of creating intertwine and thoughts i’ve had in reflection of release/experiencing otojam!

it’s long bc in usual crescence fashion, a bitch loves to talk. so buckle in gamers!

my thank u offering for all the downloads and reviews

Committing to OtoJam

for those who didn’t know, i entered otojam on a sort of Whim. because i am deep in the alaris trenches, i didn’t want to distract myself for too long from my main game, especially when there are people who have paid to support development. after talking to some friends, i thought otojam would actually be good for me. i’d been struggling with burnout and was in a creative rut. on top of that, i’d been doing this dev thing for almost 2 years with no full game to show for it (cries). even if otojam would take time away from alaris, perhaps it would give me what i needed—a kick of Motivation, a dash of Creativity, and some GD Fun.

so i decided about two days into otojam to officially enter it! And thus Intertwine made its appearance

the graphic that started it all

Oh, we are Otojamming

the intertwine editing team assembled and we got to work. because i already had a pretty solid idea of the game (it had been an idea i was sitting on for a while), there was less time spent on brainstorming and more time spent on writing and editing the script. for playtesters, i already have a group for alaris, and a couple of them kindly offered to playtest intertwine for otojam. i spontaneously decided to cast a va after some discussions with the editing team, and max joined. then, with One Week left of otojam, faefield productions entered the scene!

regarding development, the first month was largely dedicated to the script. weeks 1-2 were writing and fleshing out. weeks 3-4 were dedicated to editing and fine tuning. when my editors were reviewing the script, i was creating all the art assets. after the first month, i would say we had most of the gui, one cg, and the base sprite done!

at that time i felt pretty good. we were making good progress! i even was productive on alaris and irl work!

then the Second Month happened lmao.

i always forget the Horrors of fine tuning a build. i’m projecting right now, but i’d argue a lot of developers forget or underestimate the fine tuning/ quality testing stage. during the 4th-6th weeks of otojam, i wrapped up all the assets needed for the beta build. i finished the remaining cgs, all sprite expressions, and the rest of the gui. then i coded all the features into a beta version: learning how to create a messaging system for the first time, nailing the multiple iteration mechanic, cutting and editing the voice acting audio, and other Horrors that i’m sure i’ve since blacked out from my memory all happened during the sixth week of otojam. i was truly in the Coding Trenches.

BUT i got the build done and was able to send it out to playtesters for a week of quality testing. spoiler alert: the build wasn’t perfect and there were many bugs that needed fixing. the seventh week—the second to last week of otojam—was dedicated to this as well as my own tinkering so that the build felt completely Perfect (making sure expressions r exactly how i want them, transitions and audio fade perfectly, animations are perfect, that godforsaken clickable string to get to the next iterations that No One was clicking. all of the tiny aspects that make a game feel really polished). I am Not good with grinding. Suffice to say this was probably the most miserable week.

me every hour: DID U CLICK THE STRING

But once again WE MADE IT! Near the end of the seventh week, orpheo of faefield productions reached out to me and after gushing to each other about how big of a fan we are of one another, we spontaneously collaborated for a custom OST. Enter the eighth week, and we were ALL grinding. playtesters trying out a second build within only two days. editing team making fine tuning edits for the best script. coding. voiced lines that needed the slightest bit of tinkering.

Come 3PM on june 30th (otojam ends 6pm june 30th) and i’m coding the new music room, adding and double checking the new ost, and more. Two hours pass and it’s 5PM. We have less than an hour to submit. 5:30something comes by and with shaky hands, i release the game page and submit to otojam.

flashbacks to college 11:59 deadlines fr

On top of last week crunching, i was also dealing with extreme prerelease stress. i’ve never released a full game before. a demo, i can change. i can still tinker. this isn’t the final product. But a Full Game? My god. what if ppl hate it? or worse, what if ppl are so apathetic, they don’t even look at it and it gets sent to the void? after all, this year’s entries are stunning. they are Bold and Creative and Fun and intertwine is so….

Boring?

Some Lessons—Take Them or Leave Them

lesson 1. don’t listen to prerelease anxiety. that is the devil talking to you. if u have friends at least they will play and be nice to u. if u don’t have friends and no one plays, well it’s not the end of the world!!!! there’s always the next game. and u fckn know what? at least u Made that shit. keep ur head high, icon.

lesson 2. have fun and take care of yourself. the reception to intertwine has been amazing. i couldn’t be happier with it. but at the end of the day, the reason i look back on otojam fondly is because of the very dear friends i had to support me and have fun with me thru it all. life is meant to be enjoyed. it’s meant to be about memories, not metrics! never forget what’s truly important in life (cheesy, everyone boos me, but i’m right idgaf)

where would i be without them

lesson 3. plan. there is room for spontaneity and flexibility. after all, u can’t guarantee everything will go to plan. but with otojam being a crunch, plan as much as you can beforehand to not stress urself out during it. with intertwine, i had a somewhat outline and at least a pretty good idea of the concept, game mechanics, narrative design, mood board, etc. i had character concept art of van. if i had to do all of this during otojam we wouldn’t have made it i’m so srs. i also think when u plan as much as u can before, u have more room and time to have fun during! more polished build and more loving memories it’s a win win.

early concept art tbh i never thought it’d see the light of day

Typical Brand of Crescence Cheesiness

if you’ve made it this far ur a real one. all i have left to say is thank you for the support. while i was proud of intertwine (until the last week of otojam lol), i didn’t know what the response would be. to receive so many kind words has been unbelievably heartwarming.

as i said before, i’ve been in this game dev thing for 2 years with nothing to rly show for it. but during otojam, i could really feel the skills and experiences i’ve gained shine thru. i had a better handle on narrative design, coding things, integrating gui, and even more dev friends to talk to (thank u to all my friends who have played and messaged me U DONT KNOW HOW MUCH I LUV U). it was rewarding in a different sense compared to releasing a game, and i really am glad i did otojam to give me that perspective <3

a lot of things seemed to cockblock otojam this year (or so i’ve heard) between the sheer amount of entries (go us tho), the release of a lot of aaa otome games, and then twitter literally breaking less than 24 hours after otojam ended. even with all that, i’ve been so humbled and honored to see ppl enjoy intertwine. the comments i’ve gotten have honestly made me emotional, with many of you comparing it to games that i heavily admire and or expressing emotions i never would’ve dreamed to have been able to instill.

the otojam experience has been incredible, from the memories to the game to the reception. and i’m very grateful for all the people who made it that way! thank you for enjoying our silly little game made with our grubby little fingies. i hope you all continue to enjoy intertwine (and the other otojam entries from this year) and van!

i luv u all!

#intertwine #crescence cries

[crescencestudio]

IIIIIIIIII FINISHEDDDDDDD THE FIRST DRAFTTTTTTTT OFFFFFFFF DRUUUKKKKKKKSSSSSS ROUUUTEEEEEEEEEEEEE FFCUUCCUICCKKKKK‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

#crescence cries #I FINALLY MADE IT #GOD IS ON MY SIDE TODAY #WE ALL KNOW HOW LONG THIS HAS TAKEN #THIS IS A MOMENTOUS OCCASION #AAAAHHHHGGHAHAHZUZISIAOAPALLA

[crescencestudio]

i was rly nervous about intertwine’s release and was existing in an extreme pre-release anxious haze this week (stress from crunch prob didn’t help. and i wasn’t sleeping. or eating. i was literally barely a living being ha)

so as i awake from my coma, even in the midst of twitter breaking and many other things, this means the world you all 😭 tysm for being so supportive of the game. i was very proud of it prior to this week but something about Being Perceived as a creator sometimes just does something to you (and not physically taking care of urself lmao).

thank u to everyone who has reviewed, messaged me, made fanart, sent in an ask, literally anything. you don’t even know how much i appreciate it!!!!!

also hello my dev friends kai, chatter, foxglove games, and maria!!! i am honored to be in ur company!!

#crescence cries

[crescencestudio]

just a fun exercise i did HEHE. six indie vn characters in my style ((suggestions taken from twitter)

i’ve actually always wanted to do this kind of thing but never trusted my art style enough. it’s nowhere near perfect but i am pretty proud of this little sketch exercise!!!

characters:

alvarez: burning red

vicenzo: thorn for the villain ~ reincarnated as an extra in an otome game?!

lance: gilded shadows

chrys: tattoos and tulips

lakritz: candied hearts

n: tomorrow will be dying (i never heard of this game before but i am now kinda obsessed w the art style. def need to give it a try)

#crescence cries #other games

[crescencestudio]

HAPPY (ALMOST) NEW YEAR!!!!

THIS YEAR

MY NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION

IS JUST

TO ‼️

FINISH ‼️

ALARIS ‼️

#LAST YEAR I ASKED FOR TOO MUCH #THIS YEAR THIS IS ALL I ASK FOR #ON MY KNEES #((and maybe finish my dissertation too if god is feeling Kind #crescence cries

[crescencestudio]

*grabs u by the collar*

*whispers in ur ear, stares at u w crazed eyes*

*oozes desperation*

did u all make sure u got to this screen before putting the game down

spoilers and/or hints on getting this screen under the cut ((it’s a shitpost image i made in a crazed state during otojam))

early version of our hint to players to click the string

#intertwine #crescence cries

[crescencestudio]

screenshot from obscura chapter 1.5 by @rottenraccoons

my favorite raccoons made me cry and squeal an embarrassing amount 🥹👉🏼👈🏼 they recently released an expansion of their chapter 1 demo for their visual novel obscura and i rlly can’t recommend it enough! everything about it is phenomenal and you can tell the devs put so much love and thought into the project 💙🦝

#other games #crescence cries