#despite me responding to him as flatly and monosyllabically as possible pretty much the whole time

[ante--meridiem]

I think advice like this is generally good and am aware that me complaining about it will probably be the "why doesn't your post account for my personal circumstances specifically, internet stranger?!" thing people love to make fun of, but nonetheless I can't help but feel bitter because "repeated positive low stakes interaction" for me has almost always fizzled out before it could deepen because the effort is just not worth the reward for either of us and pretty much all my significant friendships have been formed by (a) being approached by someone with enough confidence and extroversion to make "treating a stranger like a best friend" actually work or (b) instant familiarity because we're bonding over a shared interest and our enthusiasm over the topic is more important than how well we know each other or (c) quick recognition of each other as similar personality types and agreement to cut the bullshit and communicate in a way best suited to our type. And the tone of this type of advice always makes me feel like it's saying "the way you do friendship is wrong and you're wrong for thinking it could work, grow up". Which is uncharitable of me, I know op of that post is just trying to be helpful and has been helpful to many people reblogging the post! Still feel bitter about it though.

#I feel like I've made some variation of this post before #probably because there's a strictly increasing function from 'number of times I see posts like that on my dash' #to 'number of response posts like this I make' #vagueblogging #uncharitable #inventing friends for people in their twenties #and I'm not denying that sometimes just assuming familiarity *does* come off as creepy/off-putting/uncomfortable #last week a guy came up to talk to me and insisted on walking home with me and then invited himself into my apartment and it took me ages #to figure out how to firmly but semi-politely kick him out when he was resistant to any suggestion he leave #despite me responding to him as flatly and monosyllabically as possible pretty much the whole time #so y'know don't do *that* please #so there probably is a fair bit of skill involved in 'how to approach strangers with the kind of familiarity #that makes them want to be your friend and not the kind that crosses all unspoken boundaries' #*I* don't personally have the skill and so tend to err on the side of safety #but I'm grateful to people who do! their existence is why I have any friends at all right now!