#dont you dare tell me that's now how amnesia or the military works

[luminousbeings-crudematter]

Sooo…here’s an idea that’s been driving me up the wall. and here I am purging it from the folds of my brain:  50 first dates Ghostsoap (& Reader) (sort of)???

(blame @ceilidho and the ghostsoap x reader asks on her blog)

Ghost never does things halfway, so when he injures himself? It's bad. He takes a few weeks to wake up...but he's not himself when he wakes up. He's not anyone. A complete blank slate.

And Soap is forced to just watch. There's no brute-forcing Simon's memory to return, no hard rebooting the brain. It is what is, the doctors say. We have to let his mind heal in its own time.

So Soap continues to watch. He does as the doctors tell him to; he takes off the ring on Simon's finger, wears it around his neck with his own. He pretends to be a friend, a comrade, a subordinate, and on some days they even flirt, and it's like Soap has his Simon back again. If only until sundown.

But there are other days when Simon is in pain so acute, so encompassing that he doesn't leave his bed. Even with no memory of his past life, Simon is tougher than he needs to be; unnaturally quiet despite the pain, and the door to his room on base stays firmly shut. It's on these days that Soap sits outside Simon's room with his head in his hands, digs crescent moons in his palms from how hard he clenches his fists, waits.

You get a unique perspective on the whole thing as it unfolds before your eyes - you were the field medic that saved Ghost's life, after all. You dragged him to safety. You stabilised him while Soap protected the two of you with his life.

But...you're also something different in the equation now. You comfort Soap when he needs it - providing both, a shoulder to cry on and a decent challenge when he wants to spar. He isolates himself from everyone who tries to help him...except you. He's bonded to you in a way neither of you can explain, and he allows you access to Simon and himself in a way everyone else is firmly denied.

And it changes you.

He talks to you about the relationship he used to have with Simon, and you imagine yourself as the third. He talks about dinners they used to cook together and you imagine yourself there, on the couch, smiling to yourself while they bicker. Soap tells you about Simon's hesitance to meet Soap's family, and you're there, your thumb running gently over Simon's knuckles while you wait for the Mactavish front door to swing open.

You fall in love with a version of them that doesn't exist anymore.

You worry that it never ever will.

#dont you dare tell me that's now how amnesia or the military works #I KNOW its not!!! #I made it up!!! #for the angst!!! #ghostsoap #soapghost #simon ghost riley #johnny soap mctavish x reader #ghostsoap x reader #simon riley fanfic #simon riley imagine #ghost x soap #Amnesia! Ghost #lumi writes