#draconisruthren

[not-poignant]

@draconis-ruthren replied to your post “Sending some questions rom the fic meme, 20, 21...”:

This is why I feel like a fly on the wall watching everything going on, cuz I know Raphael is a devil who will do devil things, the real question is always, ok what is he going to do now? Which causes some angst but also makes for some great entertainment cuz then it like, ok buddy you made this decision, how do you plan on living with it? Lol

​I get stressed sometimes thinking about how to balance 'yes he IS 50% human' with 'yes he IS 50% devil.' Not wholly devil, not wholly human. And also like, thousands of years completely out of touch with his human self in general, because he did reach pit fiend / Ascended pit fiend.

He talks about this in the next chapter actually, and he describes his cambion self and especially his human self as a 'shadow' he lost touch with, and how with his resurrection, and losing the pit fiend form, he now has that sort of 50% back front and centre.

But his human self can be a sadist as well. People aren't compassionate by default.

Idk, I think there are some human motivations in there, but nothing ever quite tops his need to increase his power. And he has successfully just won a massive increase thanks to this fairly minor contract with Astarion. If nothing else, Astarion has already proven himself more than useful, and Raphael's proven he doesn't need to bind someone's soul to him, if it means netting even more souls in the future.

I do think like a spider, he's remaking a very large web - some of which broke when he died. But like a person, he has needs/wants/desires, and maybe sometimes he is just a guy who wants to sexually torment another guy for fun, who sometimes finds himself pleasantly surprised by how pretty Astarion is, or how clever, or how silly, etc. Like 'this is a pleasing and useful diversion but as soon as the toy gets boring and/or betrays me, we're done' but also with some fondness. Because I do think Raphael is capable of fondness towards certain people / individuals, even if it's not necessarily loyal.

Tbh I also feel very fly-on-the-wall sometimes.

#draconisruthren #palmarosa #reply post #thespectaclesofthor #i think raphael has a lot of faith in his ability to course correct #though the loss of the crown of karsus #and the trauma of his death #have given him *human* issues like post-trauma #that he's not really equipped to deal with #because he hasn't been so much human for such a long time #i think he finds astarion's like...clinginess to his elven self fascinating #because he's contemplating whether he has the same clinginess to his human self these days #since the resurrection