#e as três têm a tendência de simplificar os próprios comportamentos

[pacinosgf]

their unbearable loneliness.

celeste is the most quiet. she thinks it’s better to not acknowledge it, the huge lump on her throat, the constant feeling of helplessness. once she was gorgeous, full of dreams, full of hope, but it was never really hers, just what seemed right to do, to feel, to desire. she doesn’t know who she is, she afraid of asking who she is, she would do anything to throw away the only company she has ever had: the loneliness. she feels empty, she feels opaque, losing all the colors she had (the colors people though she had, the colors she supposed she should have). her life is an endless perfomance no one cares about, but is also the only thing she has going on for herself. being alone seems so painful as not being alone, as having someone to explain herself. being known is a desire and a fear.

hannah is the most bitter. she locks herself in her mind, pays attention to every little painful thought, treats her loneliness as a best friend with whom she shares a complicated relationship. she doesn’t care about being called a complicated woman. she embraces the emptiness she feels since she was just a little kid, waiting for something to happen that could explain why she feels so much and nothing at the same time, for something to save her. it’s a wasted life, where she distracts herself living to keep the people around her satisfied so, in the end of the day, she can take one step back and realize she survived another day inside her head. she was always an old cardigan. being known is a fear.

yin is the most hopeful. she never had the proper time to discover who herself she is. she feels she is already too old for this, too old for such novelties like being so lost, but it’s not like she can help it. she wants to be around people, to experience new things, to be the star of her own live, but she can’t do it. she is afraid she will do something wrong, and she feels so obsolet around people: she fears they will know how vulnerable she is, how little she knows about the world right now, how much she feels guilty for escaping her previous situation, though she knows it was necessary and the good thing for herself. she wakes up every night trembling, not only for the trauma, but because she will have to shake herself to sleep alone, she will wake up the other day and not have anyone to tell about it. being known is a desire.

@gllianowens

#celeste. #hannah. #fang yin. #girls having thoughts. #lonely womanhood. #mentalmente #eu as chamo de depressed women line #sinto que as solidões delas se manifestam de formas bem parecidas #e as três têm a tendência de simplificar os próprios comportamentos #pra poderem se aceitar mais facilmente #pelo negocio de sempre se sentirem diferentes de alguma forma #portanto são classificadas juntinhas #a nari sente o mesmo tipo de coisa #masssss ela é mais novinha então preferi fazer outro post pra ela depois #porque acaba sendo diferente #enfim planejo continuar fazendo desses !! #já pensava em fazer um assim e o documentario da sylvia me incentivou #i just feel like loneliness is an inherent part of womanhood. at least to me