#eren yeager x readereren x reader smuteren yeager x reader smuteren jaeger x reader smuteren jaeger x readereren jaeger smuteren yeager smut
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College Part 1
REUINITED
recommended song: like a G6
'Sasha no'
She tugs my arm fiercely. Jesus this woman is strong for how small she is. Guess she did grow up in the woods as a little wolf baby or whatever.
'C'mon you're so boring I need to reinvent you' She says flashing me a smile of her perfect white teeth to tell me that this is all in good nature and she's just joking around. But something within also tells me she's dead serious.
The back of her brunette ponytail swishes in my face, not that I mind, it smells quite good. It smells of saccharinely sweet lemon grass and coconut. A very deceptive scent, because, really, she's a devil.
She continues to drag me along as we move through the throng of people. Sweaty and dancing, or some doing more than dancing. Some with lips connected and bodies entwined, kissing all over each other's necks and every inch of their bodies. The music is loud, 'fly like a G6', but it's also kind of a banger. It makes me feel like I'm something I'm not, this whole place does. Not to sound annoying, but parties really aren't my type of place. They make me nervous and on edge.
Something about the whole experience makes me feel out of place. Because I am. I have little experience in this. And I'm definitely not going to blindly follow whatever Sasha says which will probably result in my puking my lungs up the next morning and her having to hold my dirty and drenched-with-my-insides-hair back.
'I'm serious Sasha, I don't think I can do this.' I let go of her grip on me.
She whips her head around, getting a full mouthful of lemongrass ponytail. Her bright smile fades a bit. I can see she feels bad for me, that she understands, and I understand that she's just trying to help but...
'You can't run from your old life forever.'
'I know I just -'
'C'mon the guys miss you! They haven't seen you in like years!'
Sasha loves to exaggerate.
'More like a handful of months.'
She giggles, ' Oh whatever, just say hi and then we can leave them and go back to Hitch and the others, 'Kay?' Seeing I'm still not convinced, she places a hand on my shoulder and her brown eyes meet mine. They are so beautiful and round, but the way she stares at me is too much like she's seeing right through my pathetic excuses. 'You'll feel better I promise, plus Armin will be there too'
I sigh, whatever. 'Alright'
She claps her hands together rapidly ' Yay!' I almost think she's going to jump up and down at this point. She resumes her tight grip on my arm, and we wind through the mass of people.
The longer she pulls me along, the deeper nausea in my stomach grows. With every step and pace, my heart beats quickly. Like a hummingbird's heartbeat as it desperately tries to escape its cage. Through the mass of people, I start to make out familiar faces. Sasha flashes me a last desperate smile, I can see she's trying hard.
'Hey guys!' She says in a perky tone, as always. And she waves her little hands from side to side. 'Mikasa's here! Long time no see right?' She directions to me.
I see the boys' faces light up with surprise in the side of my vision because I can't bear to meet their eyes.
'Hey guys..' I want to whisper it, or not say it all, but I force myself to raise my voice. Then I raise my eyes to theirs.
Jean is who I see first, he seems excited and friendly, his eyes wide and a smile plastered to his face, as he always has been really. Armin looks puzzled and quizzical, I can see the cogs turning in that big brain of his, but happy nonetheless. His eyes are alight with happiness. Same with Connie.
And there he is, Eren. My heart stops beating for a second. He looks me up and down for a mere second, or maybe only half a second, it's so quick I can't tell if he even did it. But his expression betrays nothing. His lips are stiff and his green eyes burn straight into mine, I can read the tiniest hint of surprise, but that's all I can glean from his utterly mute expression. He holds a blunt in his hands and is wearing a monochrome black and grey get-up. A grey sweatshirt with black jeans and sporty shoes. He's adorning jewelry too. Silver rings and a simple silver cross earring on his right ear. I've never thought that Eren was very religious. He looks.. different.
Jean quickly pulls me into a hug, gripping me with his rough and large hands. It feels nice and warm. 'Where you been Mikasa! We missed you.'
'Yeah!' Connie joins in. 'Where'd you run off to?! You just disappeared'
Jean pulls away.
'Don't ask so bluntly Connie, have some tact' Sasha jeers, rolling her eyes at him. These two always like to play around, I noticed. For a while, I thought they might be a couple, but I see now that they are utterly platonic. Like platonic soulmates in a way. I envy that kind of relationship.
I notice that Armin nudges Connie too, but doesn't let it be known.
'Well... I just needed some space for a little while. I'm sorry for.. not really telling you guys.'
I had this line well rehearsed. I would say that I needed some space and then apologize. I had practiced these two simple sentences in the mirror over and over, practicing different intonations, pauses, and inflections to get the very right delivery. I knew they would ask me this and in the end, it didn't come out as I wanted. More strained and weak sounding than I would've liked it to be. But oh well.
Eren takes a hit of his blunt. He doesn't seem very impressed that I'm back.
' Don't apologize it's fine.' says Sasha.
' Yeah but next time don't be a stranger, all right?' says Jean nudging me playfully.
Eren hasn't said a word yet.
I notice the silver chain hanging around his neck, laying on his perfectly tanned skin. And it leads to a large silver key. I guess things have changed but not that. He always wears that key. No idea why, he's never opened up about it strangely. But I've always wondered what emotional value it holds to him. My guess was that it was a memento from his parents. Guess I'll never know now.
' Yeah sure' I respond.
' Right so.. ' Sasha says desperately searching to fill the slightly awkward silence. 'why don't you guys catch Mikasa up on what you've been up to or something. I'm going to head back to Hitch, Kay?' What a devil. I give her a look, flashing my eyes at her to show my annoyance. Not in an overly obvious way so the boys won't pick it up, they are too dumb to pick up on girl things anyway.
' Kay' I say giving my best impression of Sash as I could, a saccharinely sweet high pitched voice. As she leaves she widens her eyes and cocks her head, giving me the look of 'talk!'.
It's awkward at first, very. I have forgotten the rhythm of how to talk with these guys or anyone at all. It's an art really, like a back-and-forth tennis match or complicated moving of tango. We keep hitting the ball to each other, but sometimes it hits the net and utterly stops. Jean's always the one to pick the ball up and get it rolling again, coming in with some stupid comment. I've always known he's a big talker, but this quality seems to have grown. I like that about him though.
But after a while, my shoulders loosen and it feels strangely normal again. They tell me what they did after high school break, lots of partying and drugs it sounds like. Sounds like fun I guess.
Jean recounts some stupid stories about him Sasha and Connie messing around. Something about a surfboard and Connie scaring Sasha pretending to be a shark? Or something. Honestly, I get a bit lost with Jean's long-winded stories. He begins telling another story about Connie's cooking skills, which are notoriously terrible, and how he nearly started a fire?
Eren says little. It's only when Connie or the others try to involve him by saying stuff like 'remember Eren?' Or 'right Eren?', I can see they are trying hard to involve him and induce a smile out of him. Like a sad toddler whom the parents are trying to cheer up. I meet his sunken eyes for the second time. They seem to have gotten greener, or bluer I should say. I never know if they are blue or green. Tonight they look green like the leaves of a vibrant tree but tomorrow they may look like the deep aqua of the sea. They are rimmed with red lines, that appear like a mess of red string circling the pearly whites of his eyes. He's high. I mean it only makes sense with the blunt threaded between his fingers.
But there's something else in his eyes. They look dead and soulless. Not in a cheesy way it just looks like there's no light in his eyes, no hope or fun or trace of the old high school Eren I once knew. Will we even talk now? Probably not. Does he even care that I'm here? That breaks my heart a little bit. But what a selfish thing for me to think.
Eren breaks our eye contact, but I'm still watching him intently.
Jean's exclamations break through my foggy thinking cloud.
' I mean isn't that incredible, I didn't think you could start a fire making cereal!'
They all start howling with laughter like a pack of dogs, well, Armin doesn't howl he's more like a timid Chihuahua. That's kind of an oxymoron.
' Wait, Mikasa, you don't have a drink? I'll go get you one." yaps the chihuahua. Maybe he's more like a Border Collie, but a small version. A border collie puppy. No that's not right. I'll find out one day, I'll look up top ten wisest dogs or something.
' Thanks, Armin.'
Jean's definitely a golden retriever boy who barks too much, and Connie's a jack russel with way too much energy. And Eren... I have no idea...
Eren's looking to the left at something directly, but I can't see, my vision is blocked by the throng of people's dancing bodies.
'I'll see you guys later' he says in a dulled voice. And moves away from our huddle of people to the side. Directly to the line of a small blonde girl who's waving so furiously at him that her hands are a blur of white skin. The question isn't what is he staring at, but who. Her hair is neatly cut and layered shortly so that it stops just touching her shoulder. She has a perfectly placed little fringe. And bright blue eyes that are staring directly at the advancing Eren. She's wearing a slinky pink sparkly dress that I think I've seen online before. That's all that I can make out from our distance.
' is... that Historia?'
'Yeah it is' says Connie staring at her intently. He's practically drooling over her.
Historia has always been a pretty popular girl. I would say nice too but she's actually a pretty fake bitch if I'm being completely honest. I've got a lot of stories about her and heard a lot too. She puts up a nice front well enough and pulls off that mask very well but really she's pretty horrible. I can see Eren's taking a liking to her. I thought he couldn't stand her the last time we spoke. He would always say that she was pretty annoying and obnoxious to me in high school.
' So...'
' Are they a couple?' Jean finishes my sentence. As Eren and Historia collide and Historia gives Eren a quick hug, standing on her tippy toes because she's so short. Then she pulls away but keeps her arms snug around his neck just staring and talking to him, looking deeply into his eyes.' No, they aren't. But I think Historia thinks they are.' Jean says raising his eyebrows as he looks toward the spectacle.
Historia starts running her hands around Eren's chiseled body, she runs her petite hands down his chest. I can't officially make it out from here, but I think she's got bright neon pink nails on, that's what I can tell from the small flashes of putrid pink cutting through the dimness of this house.
' Right... But what about -?' I say.
' Ymir? Yea they broke up.' Connie chides in. ' I think she's trying her hand at guys now.'
This surprises me a little, for how annoying Historia is, I liked her and Ymir. They brought out the good in each other. Historia was sweeter with her and I could tell they genuinely cared for one another, don't get me wrong, they were still a deadly couple together. I'm just a little taken back, I thought they would last. I wonder what happened.
Armin comes back handing me a drink. 'Did I miss much?' He yaps as I take a drink.
'Not much' Connie barks, but he chuckles. A little rosiness spreads across my cheeks.
We continue talking about random things and stories. But I can't focus on this conversation. All I want to do is stare at Eren and Historia, I want almost binoculars so I could perfectly spy on them and see every inch of what they are doing. But a part of me wants to have nothing to do with them. What if they are...?
I chance a glance over to the pair and I see the back of Historia's glossy blonde hair. There they are, making out on the couch. My heart lurches. Stop Mikasa. You're not his girlfriend. You're just an idiot. But I can't help myself.
Historia's legs are thrown over his, she's straddling him really, their lips bound to one another. Eren's grabbing the back of her neck with his veiny, large hands. I can't stand this, I'm going to throw. And it's not because of my nausea.
'Think I'm gonna go find Sasha, but it was amazing talking to you guys. I'll see you around yea?'
'Yea definitely!' barks Connie
'Of course' ruffs Jean
'See you Mikasa!' yaps Armin, waving and wagging his little tail.
Why did I ever stop talking to these guys?
I scurry to find Sasha. She's over by the beer pong table, knew I'd find her here. She's standing with a red flimsy cup like mine in her hand, chatting with Hitch and Annie.
' Sasha!' I squeal. ' You didn't tell me Historia and Ymir broke up, I looked so stupid' I squeal again. Maybe I'm a little squealing mouse. I rest my head on her shoulder with a pouty expression. Of course, I don't actually blame her. I lift the drink to my lips and take another sip. This is a little addicting, it makes me feel at ease.
Hitch giggles. ' Oh don't worry, it's only 'cause Ymir traveled after high school and they didn't think they could work long distance.'
' Yeah they called it off, I don't even know which university Ymir is at now.' Sasha joins in the conversation.
' Oh, that's a bit sad. She was kinda cool.'
'True' notes Hitch, ' but also cruel'
'That too' I concur raising my eyebrows.
We chat and talk a bit about meaningless things before it's Sasha's turn to play beer pong. She's really quite good at it. Me and Hitch start chatting and the topic of Eren is brought up again. Why is he all I can think of or talk about tonight?
' Yeah, weren't you guys like besties?'
I avert her gaze. ' That was a while ago...'
'Not really' Annie says shrugging, blunt and honest.
' I don't know he just seems really really different now, I mean he's changed so much.'
'I mean what do you expect when his parents die.' Annie states curtly.
Of course, I mean, how could I be so selfish, thinking about myself when he's like this?
We all look down, unable to find something to turn this conversation back into something friendly and enjoyable after Annie just dropped this dark subject.
It makes me think back, to where it all began.
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